Monstaville Journal Entries in my I Ching readings notebook
2 June 2002
Yesterday I offered to cut the Bengali neighbours’ hedge (on
the far side) and made them happy. Then I broke the shears doing the other
hedge and Pigsy came home at the same time so I left it as I hadn’t locked
the door. Pigsy went up to his room in a visible tantrum! Such a baby. You have
to accept that he is just a little boy, volatile, emotional, angry,
bad-tempered and so jealous and immature. His mother evidently helped him not
to grow up.
Today, I cut off from the last sexual contact and cut myself
loose, so this is the first day of freedom. Beautiful, sunny day, too. Meditated
for a long time. Studied the Osiris book by Sir E. A. Wallis Budge.
Practised tai chi long and slow after doing standing meditation. Great. Also
practised the word which went well. Did some gardening too. A boy next door in
the Pakistani family’s garden smiled at me. That was cool.
Then went out to the front to see what I could cut – the remaining
hedge, that is, while Pigsy was out and I was feeling strong and calm! The Pakistani
neighbours came out to cut their side of the hedge at the same time. So I went
and mentioned the fact that the stems on top had grown so long and thick that
they broke my shears. Hence I could not cut it all. It was a friendly exchange and
healed a few wounds between us I think.
Dragon Insights: 30 – Li. Fire and light. The sun as their
source. Your brightness can illuminate the four corners of the world and you
have great successes. Right action (dharma).
3 June 2002
Pigsy Monster: what’s in his head and what can I do about
him?
I watched the Brazil vs Turkey World Cup game this morning
at 10am and tried to keep it as quiet as possible. Then, this evening, he came
home and the Africans up the road were playing atrocious music on a car stereo
loudly. Pigsy got an idea and put his radio on loud both to cover it up and
annoy me. The Africans’ music only lasted for 15 minutes and he left his on for
a long time. I wore earplugs.
Dragon Insights: 53 – Jian. Gradual development. Glide, advance, flow, penetrate
and reach gradually, little-by-little. “A tree grows slow
and strong on the mountainside. Like planting an enormous tree as a seedling –
it’s going to take a long time to grow to full maturity. Don’t apply force or
pressure. Careful, unhurried, constant work returns great profit in the end.”
Pigsy doesn’t trust anyone, especially at home.
“Don’t push things or be overconfident or use impulsive
action. If you go too far, too fast, you ill unexpectedly land in a situation,
space or place where it is hard enough for you just to survive let along thrive.
I’m already there, no? It could mean that Pigsy needs to prove that he is right
to distrust me, that I am the villain and should be kicked out, jailed, thrown
in to the gutter so he can have the house for himself!
“Gradually conditions change. You will reach the summit of
your endeavours. It is a high, lovely place. You must work very, very hard amid
some jealousy and slander. But in the end your light is seen and none can deny
it. Freed from all difficulties, your glory will shine.
You find yourself temporarily nesting in the wrong tree with
some hostile and strange birds for company, like a wild goose perching on the tip
of a branch; a tricky situation requiring dexterity and a delicate state of
balance. Retreat inwardly if you cannot fly away outwardly. At least this is a
safe place where you can hang on.”
Don’t confront or engage him then.
“After you have achieved your success, people will regard
you as a shining example to motivate them onwards in their own endeavours.”
Good, because it heralds eventual and gradual success.
Excerpts from Dragon Insights: A Simple Approach to the I
Ching by Jillian Lawler, 2001
