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“Love is triumphant in attack and
invulnerable in defence.”
- Laozi (Daodejing 67).
“Love vanquishes all attackers.
It is impregnable in defence.
When Heaven wants to protect someone
does it send an army?
No, it protects him with love.”
- Jonathan Star’s translation (Daodejing 67).
Serge
Kahili King, Hawaiian Shaman and Huna philosopher, on love:
…many times there must be
understanding before there is acceptance. The unknown has to become known
before the fear it causes can be overcome. Very often where there is a lack of
love, it is because fear is present. Fear is the father of hate, which is
rejection and selfishness, the opposite of love. And ignorance can be said to be
the father of fear. Where ignorance is replaced by understanding, fear is
dissipated and love can enter.
But
love will enter only if it is invited. It is an active thing, and does not
exist unless there is action on the part of the one who loves. I mentioned
acceptance, but I'm not talking about a passive acceptance which is no more
than indifference. I mean the kind of acceptance that opens the door and
extends an invitation to come in. And when the guest is inside, the other
aspect of love comes into play - giving. Not the giving of things, but the
giving of self, with no strings attached. Love is best done for the sake of
loving and not for the sake of getting something in return, nor even just to
please someone. For these kinds of love are false and empty.
There
is a great secret to loving others and being loved in return. It is to love
yourself first. Unless there is already water in the tap, nothing will come out
when you try to turn it on. Unless you have learned to accept and give to
yourself, you will have great difficulty in doing the same for anyone else.
Accepting yourself means acknowledging all your good and bad qualities and
realising this is the material you have to work with, then making the decision
to go ahead and work with it. The love type of giving is not indulgence, but
care, attention, and the effort to polish what is good and improve what is bad.
To love yourself also means to accept the fact that you are worthy of love.
Many people have the idea that they are unworthy of love, because of things
they have done or the way they have been treated. This is absolutely wrong! As
it has been so beautifully stated, "You are a child of the universe, no
less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here." You are
worthy of love simply because of the fact that you exist. Nothing you have
done, nothing you have thought, nothing anyone has told you can alter that
fact.
As the ancient Hawaiians also said
so beautifully:
He
punawai kahe wale ke aloha (Love
is a spring that flows freely) - meaning that love is boundless and is
available to everyone.
“When we
come into contact with the other person, our thoughts and actions should
express our mind of compassion, even if that person says and does things that
are not easy to accept. We practice in this way until we see clearly that our
love is not contingent upon the other person being lovable.” - Thich Nhat Hanh.
“How could
we learn fortitude if we were not subject to suffering? How could we learn
courage if we did not know fear? How could we learn trust in God, if we have
not discovered that all finite and earthly things can let us down?” - Raynor C.
Johnson (Light of All Life, p.64).
“Relax; in
courage there is peace.” (Alice Mortley in The
Shining Brother. Recording the spirit return of St. Francis of Assisi and its
sequel Francis Speaks Again by Laurence Temple, Psychic Press, London,
U.K., 1941, p.108).
(A female friend) said I should
move. If not, I must have courage. I must overcome fear, convince myself there
is no reason to live in fear, no reason to be scared. Otherwise, the quality of
my life will be dreadful.
The most important thing is not to
feel any fear. Do not feel fear. Love can help overcome fear. Fear is what a
bully seeks to invoke and perpetuate. Fear is what gives him his sense of
power. Feel no fear. Show that you are not afraid. You might be nervous or
scared on the surface, but he can’t reach the inner you, so you cannot be a
victim. You will always survive any intimidation and the he has to live with
the fact that you too are a free individual and can do as you please. And there
are options open to you.
“Domination often shows itself as
weakness. The dominating person can be a bully, but is much more often the
victim. When a bully finds a victim, the victim, we would suggest, is the one
in control. Consider this: In a relationship between a bully and a victim, when
the bully stops being a bully, the victim can still be a victim. However, when
the victim stops, the bully must stop, too. Bullies need victims. Victims do
not ‘need’ anyone.” - Lazaris
(channelled through Jach Pursel, The
Sacred Journey. You and your Higher Self, NPN Publishing Inc., Florida, U.S.,
1987, p.53).
My boss (who is from Pakistan but of
the good-natured sort) said I worry too much. He says it to me often! He said
that when I saw the pig monster outside I should have gone out and said,
‘Hello, how are you?’ I said I’m a nervous person. Then, I read in FHM men’s
magazine, a copy left behind by a passenger, Anna Friel saying she doesn’t like
macho men who are always trying to prove themselves by competing and imposing
themselves aggressively on others. She prefers confident men.
Colonel
Binns (Morgan
Woodward): Well, a man who fights like ten tigers must have had a lot of
training.
Caine (David Carradine): I was taught a
good soldier is not violent, a fighter is not angry, a victor is not vengeful.
-
Kung Fu (Season 1, Episode 8, ‘Sun
and Cloud Shadow,’ 1973).
The viper attacks everyone in sight.
It is a pest. It is a dangerous snake but it only bites, can only cause
temporary damage. Do not receive poison that does not exist, and the viper
cannot really harm you. It cannot penetrate to your core. ‘What doesn’t kill you
makes you stronger,’ Nietzsche wisely pointed out. (“What does not destroy me,
makes me stronger”).
The cobra is still, posed and
confident. Centred, mature and powerful. It does not react but stays true to
its heart, it needs and purpose. It is not restless. It contains its power. The
viper is jealous and seeks to agitate, disturb and shake up, to destroy one’s
power and cause chaos so that it can feel powerful. It feels inferior and
insecure. That is why it attacks. The cobra is silent and conceals itself -
camouflaging itself to resemble ‘part of the furniture,’ or the environment in
which it finds itself. It remains undeterred and pursues its goal with
determination, staying out of danger and making a slow but sure and steady path
to its destination. It does not worry about anything and accepts no obstacles.
It bides its time, pregnant with (natural, inborn) power which it uses not for
petty and irrelevant fears and conflicts but for its ultimate victory; its own
fulfilment - sustenance, both physical (food) and spiritual (the power of
Being).
“The ways are two: love and lack of
love - that is all.” - Mencius.
“Start the Day with Love;
Spend the Day with Love;
Fill the Day with Love;
End the Day with Love;
This is the way to God.”
- Sathya Sai Baba.
“The quickest and most direct way to
God is to fill the day with love.” - Sai Baba.
Retrospective inserts.
Blessed are the ignorant: A darshan diary by Osho (Chapter 16, ‘If you Know how to Receive the Answer then just Being Close to me the Question Disappears,’ 21 December 1976, Chuang Tzu Auditorium, Rajneesh Foundation, Pune, India, 1978).
Ordinarily what people think is strength is nothing but ego - and real strength is not ego. The strength that comes through ego is not real strength either...it is just a facade. You hide all your weaknesses inside and you paint your outside. You write on it in large letters, 'VERY STRONG.' You create an armour around you.
This is what has
been done down through the centuries, and people's souls have been killed. The
armour is of course, of steel, and if somebody clashes with you he will feel that
you are strong because you have an armour. But deep behind the armour, you are
very, very weak. Only a weak person needs an armour.
To me, strength
means a personality without any armour - and that is a totally different
concept of strength. That is real strength - no armour.
So to me, strength
and vulnerability are not two different things - they are one. A really strong
person is vulnerable. A really strong person is very receptive, very fragile,
very liquid. He is more like water than like rock.
That is what Lao
Tzu says, real strength should be like water - soft, feminine...not like rock.
From the outer, the rock seems to be very strong and the water seems to be very
weak, but one day you will find that the water is still there - the rock is
gone. The rock has become sand - the water has broken it into millions of
pieces.
This is the Lao
Tzu-ean concept of strength - and that's what I teach.
To me Lao Tzu
remains the greatest world teacher who has ever really penetrated the very
innermost core of human beings.
Be soft and that
will bring you strength. Be feminine and that will bring you strength. Be
surrendering and that will bring you strength. It is paradoxical.
The West creates
strong people like Adolf Hitler - very strong as far as their armature is
concerned, as far as their armour is concerned - but deep down absolutely non-substantial...nothing
is there! Strong, because they don't cry...But I would like you to be strong
and to be able to cry. I would like you to be strong and yet able to bend, able
to bow down, able to love, able to be defeated - because otherwise you will not
be able to love.
The western psychology still
persists with the idea of a strong ego. It has not yet known the strength of
egolessness.
“Dare to
reach out your hand into the darkness to pull another hand into the light.” –
Norman B. Rice.
“Be willing to be in the presence of fear. Allow fear a place in your comfort zone.” - Betty Perkins (Lion Taming. The courage to deal with difficult people including yourself, Tzedakah Publications, CA., U.S., 1995, p.53).
“I know it
seems hard sometimes but remember one thing. Through every dark night, there’s
a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it get, stick your chest out,
keep ya head up...and handle it.” - Tupac Shakur.
“Let
your smile change the world, but don't let the world change your
smile.”
- Unknown.
“It’s been a rough day. I got up
this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase
and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.” – Rodney
Dangerfield.
Visual scene from ‘Steamboat Bill Jr.’ starring Buster Keaton.
To dispel some myths: this was done in one take and it IS Buster Keaton
standing there when the facade falls down through him. No… it is not a
figment of ‘movie magic. In fact, many stage hands after measuring and
calculating where Mr. Keaton should stand, actually left the lot, as
that they were afraid that their measurements might be off. The
window opening brushed Keaton with 2 inches to spare on both sides.
Gutsy move, if I do say so myself.
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