"Who has not asked himself at some time or other: am I a monster or is this what it means to be a person?” - Clarice Lispector.


The Monstaville Memoirs trilogy is the result of a quest for truth undertaken by someone who found himself in urgent need of solutions during a long-term crisis. This is an empowering study of the psychological and spiritual resources available to human beings in times of difficulty and distress. It therefore seeks to arm not just victims of harassment but any sensitive individual with knowledge, ideas and alternatives. Indeed, these three books are about overcoming victim consciousness as much as anything as well as understanding that, with the return of the Light on Earth at this important time in history, humanity is moving from an orientation of fear to that of love.

Monstaville is an introduction to consciousness, Ascension and self-mastery. It is a journey to the realisation that we must find ways to boost our vibration each day, albeit after ten years of hell and with help from beings of Light. The somewhat anarchic format of these books means that they should appeal to a broad range of people, young and old, new and seasoned spiritual readers. They can be read either from cover to cover or opened randomly to reveal inspiration in the present moment. The contents on that page could range from studies, essays, contemplations and journal entries to quotations, poems, jokes and excerpts from articles and books. Monstaville also contains several cinematic quotes and references. This is a cutting edge book of philosophy as well as cultural insight which weaves itself around a central story and is fuelled by honesty, sincerity and spiritual truth.

It has become a kind of anthology. It’s pretty much got everyone who ever had some sound advice to share with humanity regarding the subject of managing pain and suffering, conflict and struggle. Mostly in the West but some in the East too. Excerpts from Osho’s discourses act as a bridge between the two worlds of course.


The Monstaville Memoirs. Testimony of a Tormented Tenant provides its readers with wide-ranging wisdom regarding persistent conflicts with neighbours who have selfish, aggressive attitudes and represent an intimidating presence the lives of more sensitive souls. The foundation of these books consists of entries from one creative, introverted and fairly isolated individual's spiritual journal. These formed a thread relating to experiences of this nature in a one-bedroom flat in an increasingly ghettoised area of East London (one might venture as far as to describe Monstaville as a cross between Eastenders and Reality TV with a distinctly spiritual flavour). As well as attempting to cope with regular campaigns of psychological harassment using loud noise (and various conflicts with black and Asian neighbours and other people in the area) the author endured two years of living with a bully in the flat upstairs who once held him at knife point. Consequently, he needed a coping strategy and started to read books on Buddhist methods for dealing with hostile people which provided much food for thought. Written for therapeutic and strategic purposes, the journal entries contained in Monstaville reveal the inner workings of an intelligent, reflective mind striving to understand this precarious situation and how best to survive such an ordeal. The author has since realised that the bullying theme belonged in these journals as an integral part of his spiritual development. From this foundation, the books gradually open out into self-transformation and the path of ascension casting many and varied seeds of thought along the way for those who are walking a similar or related path to digest.


The value of this trilogy is ultimately the effectiveness with which it brings the spiritual Ascension process into sharp focus, not just as a metaphysical truth but also as a physical reality. Much has been written and channelled on this mysterious yet increasingly significant and prominent subject. However, I do not know of any that manage to root it so deeply in an existential context: in human existence in all its fragility and pandemonium! Indeed, it is my purpose to ground and anchor spiritual reality on the earth plane, to express higher truths in a way that is accessible to human beings in general. I am proud of Monstaville because it achieves that aim better than if I had set out with that intention consciously! But, then, as we all know, books write themselves! This book exists essentially to support anyone who may be enduring challenging circumstances and, in particular, anyone who may feel vulnerable living in a hostile environment. It is also one of those rare and unique kinds of ‘self-improvement’ books that will appeal more substantially to men as well.


The Monstaville Memoirs is an attempt to create a comprehensive study that is both personal and objective. The backdrop of individual experience and private emotion represents an open and honest quest for understanding that was never intended for publication. These are not self-help books in familiar terms but a creative exercise intended to inform and inspire. The journal entries themselves were not meant to be 'well-written.' The book is very rough and loose in places: colloquially 'grainy.' This makes the books ground-breaking in a style that all kinds of people - including those who might not usually take an interest in deeper, philosophical issues or spirituality - will find attractive and accessible. In addition, the subject of suffering and conflict is an ugly one that people would probably rather not have to read about. The way in which I have handled it creatively makes it more palatable. Much of the text is more poetic than intellectual. This is not an intellectual exercise but emphatically oriented in feeling - however embarrassed we as a nation might customarily be when it comes to this area of our lives. The purpose of these books is not to feed the status quo of Western consciousness but to offer alternatives and to inspire change. One person, who has read some of the manuscript, comments: "Something I found enlightening about your writing, also, was the way you expressed your experience with emotion (in particular the run-in with your neighbour and the knife ‑ the way you so honestly and humbly described your fear)."

The style could be described as being both arty and scholarly at the same time. The Monstaville Memoirs draws upon various sources of information, including books, films and television programmes, to give the reader a broad range of ideas to digest. This is also a precociously liberal book which mentions personal experience of beings on other planes and contains information from channelled articles. As such, generally draws on a progressive panoply of thought and awareness. Readers are therefore provided with sufficient stimulation to follow their own inner path, arrive at their own conclusions and adjust their attitudes, increase their self-awareness and take whatever action they find appropriate individually. The inspiring, fully-referenced quotes and extracts from other books spread out across these pages span many related areas of interest making this a trilogy that contains something for everyone. I believe this is one of the most comprehensive collections of quotations on this subject that has been created.


Monstaville is divided into three parts in chronological order each of which commences with a section titled Monstaville 1, 2 and 3 which describe the ordeals the author has endured. These sections are included in books 1, 2 and 3 respectively. They provide the reader with the context in which the journal entries were written. Each individual book commences with an Introduction and ends with a Conclusion. The main body of each book is composed of chapters which vary in size but are generally quite short. Each ends with a joke or quote about humour to lighten the weight of this subject. Since there are so many loose quotations and excerpts from various sources, I feel that these would be best placed in boxes and that this method of breaking the text up will make the books more attractive and easier to read.

A brief description of each book

THE MONSTAVILLE MEMOIRS. Testimony of a Tormented Tenant. Book 1

44 chapters. Approximately 190,000 words including 12 Appendices.

This book mainly deals with ‘Pigsy’ (as I refer to my tormentor humorously in the journal as a result of watching the seventies series Monkey on video). As such, it focuses on living in a flat beneath a tenant who is a bully. There is also mention of my ongoing difficulties with the Ha Chus (as I have renamed my next-door neighbours for these books). I discover the concept that suffering is something we choose or allow ourselves to experience by reacting to situations when we could, alternatively, learn to discipline our minds to let go and not be affected by external influences. I explore this realm of human experience which was introduced to me through a few Buddhist texts and was completely new to me at the time.

Monstaville 1 provides background information and describes the incident in which the new tenant upstairs held a knife to my throat and told me he was going to kill me. This is followed by ‘notes from my journal and other writings, 2002.’ Book 2 includes two essays which were written at a later date but which started life as Monstaville chapters: ‘Mockingbird Heights’ discusses the realm of consciousness in a gothic cultural context and ‘Sleeping Beauty’ touches on the same issue of appreciating the darker shades of experience but in a more personal way. It is a beautiful, visual discussion on the subject of transforming consciousness through turning within and establishing a rich inner life. The latter was originally an unexpectedly magical dimension which one stumbled upon towards the end of the book before it was divided in three. It now serves to support the numerous ‘retrospective inserts’ and further enrich the initial journal entries. The conclusion, which is about love, includes my own personal experience of what, in hindsight, appears to have been contact with an ‘alien’ life form (an extraterrestrial).

THE MONSTAVILLE MEMOIRS. Testimony of a Tormented Tenant. Book 2

47 chapters. Approximately 205,000 words including 8 Appendices.

Book 2 is a continuation of my efforts to cope with living in this environment under duress. The journal entries focus on my inner and outer struggles regarding the ‘monster’ living upstairs (but also the ‘Ha Chus’ next door). The contemplations shift from a feeling of helplessness to greater confidence and faith as I adopt more of a rebellious and combative stance and explore the power of intent which finally contributes to ridding myself of my tormentor. Book 2 includes a record of my skirmishes with black people out and about in this area which lasted for a few years (titled ‘Black to the Future’).

Monstaville 2 describes my experiences in relation to the tenant who replaced the bully with the knife but which I did not record in journal form. This is followed by ‘notes from my journal and other writings, 2003 to 2004.’ This section includes ‘Black to the Future’ (1 to 6), which was also written later and includes an enquiry into the Global Elite’s hijacking of hip-hop music to stir up violence in society. Book 2 also includes notes at the end of my journals in 2005 when I was winding it down. The conclusion was written much later than the journal entries. As such, it mentions my encounters with St Germain later on and also the present occupant of the flat above me.

THE MONSTAVILLE MEMOIRS. Testimony of a Tormented Tenant. Book 3

33 (longer) chapters. Approximately 255,000 words including 14 Appendices.

Book 3 documents the continuing noise war with my next-door neighbours (the ‘Ha Chus’) from around the time when the final occupant (‘El Phaba’ as I have called her) moved into the flat upstairs (just afterwards). They are all Pakistani although I mostly avoid stating this fact. In this regard, I do, however, include observations and comments on cultural differences in some places. Book 3 commences with notes on this subject which were written after terminating my journal. It then moves swiftly on to my thoughts on my present circumstances as they unfold. This account is written specifically for the book rather than as a thread in a journal. I discover the importance of releasing repressed emotions and learn not only that my new spiritual practices are associated with the planetary ascension process but also that this whole crisis I have been enduring is part of the self-healing that is ascension. Challenging circumstances coax buried emotions to the surface so that negative energy can be cleared to make way for higher frequencies. As part of this more conscious process I encountered the Ascended Master St Germain through a channeller and also during my own meditation practice. As a result, I received help and support with purging negative emotions and raising my vibration as well as related advice, healing and spiritual attunements and reconnections.

Monstaville 3 provides background information about my conflicts with the next-door neighbours. This is followed by ‘notes written after my journal and other writings, 2005 to 2010.’


Please note:- Owing to the ‘bloggy feel’ of this series I have recently begun to consider the idea of sharing these books online.

“To awaken from the nightmare of the illusion is your unalienable right, and you are all preparing to do so by working diligently on the issues that are bursting into your conscious awareness, demanding your instant attention. Mostly it is just a case of observing them, acknowledging them, thanking them for their intent to help you along on your lifepaths, and if they are not in alignment with Love, just releasing them. You do not actually have to do anything with them. Once they are seen, acknowledged, and thanked they will dissolve, reducing your stress levels and increasing your sense of peace, of contentment.” – Saul (channelled through John Smallman, 15 September 2013,

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