16
Wilson (John Le Mesurier): They’re awfully well
disciplined, sir.
Mainwaring (Arthur Lowe): Nothing of
the sort, it’s a slavish, blind obedience, not like the cheerful, light-hearted
discipline that you get with our Jolly Jack Tars. I tell you, they’re a nation
of unthinking automatons, led by a lunatic who looks like Charlie Chaplin.
U-boat Captain (Philip Madoc): How dare you
compare our glorious leader with that non-Aryan clown! [He takes out a notebook
and pencil and writes]. I am making a note of your insults, captain. Your name
will go on the list, and when we win the war, you will be brought to account.
Mainwaring: You can put down what you
like, you’re not going to win this war.
U-boat Captain: Oh yes we are.
Mainwaring: Oh no you’re not.
U-boat Captain: Oh yes we are.
Pike (Ian Lavender): [Sings] Whistle while you work,
Hitler is a twerp, He’s half barmy, So’s his army. [The captain crosses to the
ladder, the words die on Pike’s lip]. Whistle...
U-boat Captain: Your name will also go on
the list. What is it?
[Mainwaring crosses over, followed by Wilson].
Mainwaring: Don’t tell him, Pike.
U-boat Captain: Pike, thank you.
Mainwaring: [Boiling] Now, look here, I’ve
had just about enough. Tell your men from me that they’re going to be here all
night, and they’d better behave themselves. Now, get on with it.
The captain shrugs his shoulders.
- Scene from Dad's Army (Season 6, Episode
1: ‘The Deadly Attachment,’ written by Jimmy Perry and David Croft, 1973).
An image from a zombie-themed collectible RPG card game
When I lived in a shared house during the mid-nineties, I asked the guy
living in the room below me if I ever made any noise that he found disturbing
and he said no...
I could not be bothered to go up and say something to the tenant in the
upstairs flat over the past year after we had been quite friendly prior to this
distance (perhaps caused by her avoiding me, or disengaging from me as a person
with any value to offer her) and I always assumed that we would bump into each
other. I had not realised that, whether it was the effect on myself alone or an
actual intention by her to cause such a disturbance, or both, the noise created
a psychic barrier between us which closed this channel of communication. It
creates a disturbing energy because it is not of love or concern. Perhaps,
unconsciously, I sensed that ‘confronting’ her would be futile and that this
would only make things worse for me again. I did not want to have to deal with
two sets of noisy neighbours again.
The woman upstairs started stomping around in shoes again sometime in
March. It was painful! The contrast was so savage. I had been practising a
merkaba visualisation technique in the bath for a couple of months. When she
started wearing shoes indoors again the noise in the bathroom was excruciatingly
loud and obliterated my concentration. It was then that I decided to approach
her. I knocked on her door spontaneously not long after this (on 10 April) and
asked if she wanted to meet for a cup of tea. Since we never seemed to cross
paths, I figured it would be more civilised to bring the subject up amidst
friendly chit-chat resembling our relations in the past.
She mentioned that she was due to start a new job at the Jobcentre and
asked me what I was doing. I explained that I had abandoned my other book for
the time being and had been working on a book about living here, based on my
journals. She said something like, ‘Oh, what, you mean the people next door?’
and questioned whether that would make a good book. I replied that I had had a
number of interesting experiences here and that it had been a learning curve
for me. She also told me she was moving out soon and, again, I felt her wait
and search for my response so I did not give one as is my instinct whenever
someone is trying to push, demand, extrapolate or manipulate. She agreed,
anyway, and I bought a cake (which I ended up eating myself!). On the day she
was due to come down to my flat, she knocked on the door in the morning to say
that she had a friend coming over and asked if we could make it the following
day, which was a bank holiday. I smiled and said ‘no problem.’ Spookily, she
walked around loudly in shoes again after we had spoken on that day after
having been quiet for a couple of weeks. It feels like she is trying to
communicate something whether consciously or unconsciously. It appears to be
such an avert statement yet it is so hard to believe! Alas, on the day we had
arranged, she was nowhere to be seen...savagely heard but not seen. She had a
visit from another friend, or someone from work, and they were more raucous
than I have ever heard before. This time she did not come down to inform me.
She did not apologise or anything. I never saw her. On the following day, she
arrived home at 10 p.m. Soon after, the neighbours’ TV was turned up and then
Twinkle Toes stomped around in shoes for an hour or so which she hadn’t done
for quite some time.
A couple of days later (on 15 April), I decided to at least give her the
print-out of something I thought might interest her (on chakras) that I had
been saving for her. I was a little mischievous in that I deliberately took my
mug of tea, which I hadn’t finished, up with me! This time I also rang on her
bell before ascending the stairs. I figured that she had been so rude it was
too bad if she wanted to make excuses for not answering the door (it is easier
for people to say that they didn’t hear the knocking). She ignored the bell, in
fact, but I had forgotten that she often does not answer it and did not know it
was me. She also ignored the knocking and only answered the door when I called
her name. There was a real expression of loathing on her face. She resented
having to answer the door and explaining herself. She tried to hide it but the
way she spoke suggested that she despised me. I wanted to ask about her walking
round in shoes but she was very dismissive and kind of horrid in her expression
and face, not words so much. She didn't apologise and just made it clear she
didn't want to talk. She asked if it was me who rang her bell. I did not
mention her absence at the ‘tea party’ and neither did she. Instead of an
apology, however, she did excuse herself for not wanting to talk to me there
and then by saying that she had been busy with work. I asked her if that meant
she would be earning more money and was the reason she had told me she was
moving out soon. She said ‘Yes.’ And that was that.
This is exactly the kind of thing that happened a few times a year ago.
We cordially arranged to meet for a chat as we had done several times in the past
and each time she simply did not show up. If I remember rightly, she was not
around on those occasions. She vanished into thin air even though it was quite
rare for her to go anywhere.
She was quiet for a month or so - that is why I approached her. The
barrier in my mind caused by her stomping was lifted. It’s like creating a
psychic blockade. Another thing that was driving me to approach her now was
that I was (I thought) close to finishing this book [the original, single
volume] and it was really bugging me that I did not know if the racket she was
making upstairs was innocent, indifferent or intentional. I thought she was
possibly just thinking about herself, just being selfish, and not caring about
me. I needed to know if she had simply forgotten or discarded the element of
respect and no longer remembered the fact that I had told her how loud it was
when the previous tenant had walked around in footwear with hard soles. I was
not 100% sure that the noise was caused by her wearing shoes. It is only when
she deliberately and defiantly did it the whole time she was home after our
communication that my suspicions were confirmed. Quite often, it is totally
quiet up there for four or five hours and then she wears shoes to walk around
for a minute or two without going out (at 10 or 11 p.m. for example). Weird! I
guess it is possible that she comes home and gets settled, not getting up for
an hour or so (or five!). Anyway, I finally realised that it’s definitely shoes
because it is quiet the rest of the time. Such a contrast is unlikely to be
caused by walking in a different manner, for example.
“Positive energy is integrative. Negative energy is segregative. So, a
hundred thousand people positively focused actually outweigh the energy of a
million people negatively focused. Because it’s integrative and thus then
geometrically more powerful because the million people negatively focused aren’t
cohesive.” - Bashar (www.bashar.org).
I can be quite shy and get extremely nervous when I need to express
difficult emotions and communicate how I feel to people partly, perhaps,
because they tend to put up a wall of resistance to what they don’t want to
hear. It is not fear, however, that is stopping me from confronting any of these
people but having a naturally kind, gentle, sensitive disposition. Besides
that, I know it would not do any good - just cause more trouble, taking the
conflict to a new level. [Retrospective note: I am gradually coming to the
conclusion, however, that these critters are representatives of latent, or
deeply buried, parts of myself which are equally violent, unforgiving or
destructive and which I am slowly releasing and transforming by showing more
love and forgiveness towards my neighbours. I have quite a way to go but I am
beginning to tread the path towards self-mastery and understand That does not
mean one simply lies down and takes it whilst they run riot but that one at
least try to be patient, compassionate and understanding, turn within for peaceful
solutions through prayer and positive intent, for example, and exercise one’s
capacity for acceptance, gratitude and forgiveness; qualities of one’s true
Self in other words].
I understood that there was not going to be an opportunity to sit and
relax and say all that I needed to say and that writing a polite letter was the
only course of action open to me at this point. The chief purpose of my letter
was to assess whether or not El Phaba was conscious of the effect she and her
shoes were having on me (she doesn’t tend to wear high heels by the way, either
flat or low heels). I felt that, after learning this, if she followed her heart
she would be more aware, compassionate and considerate. On the other hand, if
she was selfish, and fearful of the truth because it might require change, and
adjustment in her attitude and behaviour, then her ego would react defiantly
and aggressively - in wilful denial. I also took the risk of writing to her
because I wanted to know where she was coming from and I admit that this is
largely because I am writing this book [now a trilogy], which is hilarious
really. Intentions, intentions...was Ms. Thropp hostile and therefore likely to
react negatively to anything remotely resembling a complaint or criticism?
After returning from work, and having read my letter, Fabala came down
to tell me ‘it’s not intentional.’ That was the message she wished to relate,
along with the parting sentiment that she intends to do it whether I like it or
not. She said she is a girl and therefore wears heels and will not stop walking
around so she’s not making any promises. She said simply that this is the
problem with living downstairs. You just have to live with it. Elphie added
that hopefully she will find a new place and move soon anyway. She also asked
me why I did not mention this issue ages ago. I explained that I thought we
would bump into each other as we used to. I wanted to discuss it briefly in a
relaxed, civilised, even casual manner. I guess I knew from past experience
what results from confronting proud, stubborn, resistant people who have no
intention of respecting other people’s space. I continued to think of El Phaba
in the best light and remained optimistic that it was worth waiting for that
window of opportunity to arrive. It would just be like dropping a tiny pebble
into a pond. Peace and harmony would be reestablished despite my polite
request. Ideally, it would hardly be noticed and the loving listener would
simply smile compassionately and show signs of consternation at having caused
such disturbance. Of course she would understand. I said all I wanted
was for her to be conscious of it. I can’t believe she wears shoes indoors and
then smiles about it whilst confirming the fact! She told me that in the winter
she wears shoes indoors but she didn’t during the first year. I know she often
sleeps when she returns from work. She wouldn’t like it if I wore shoes on the
bare floorboards beneath her bedroom. As far as I’m concerned, she only started
walking around in shoes after I left my shoes on for a couple of minutes on one
occasion after returning from work during February or March 2008. How come she
can be quiet all evening and then loud at 11.30 or something yet doesn’t go
out. She puts her shoes on at that time of night? Finally, the Wicked Witch
turned her head towards me slightly as she reached two thirds of the way up the
stairs making sure I saw her smirking overtly, proudly, jubilantly, even
triumphantly.
“I owe much to my friends; but, all things considered, it strikes me that
I owe even more to my enemies. The real person springs life under a sting even
better than under a caress.” - André Gide.
Excerpts from an online conversation in March.
‘Actually I asked her for the chat because she'd been quiet for a while
and I relaxed but she's been stomping around and dropping things a lot since
then. I don't really let it get to me. It just creates a kind of psychic
barrier. It's a disturbance...Well, I don't know many people who wear shoes
indoors but it's unnecessary. I also mentioned that she makes a lot of noise
after encountering me in person. Another coincidence? It's all quite strange. I
really want to get to the bottom of it. Either they're all messing with my head
or I'm a paranoid lunatic! Haha. Or it's demons playing games. Well, all I can
do is write about how I feel and what I think might be happening. I've taken
St. Germain's advice and try to just bless them...unless the neighbours have
their TV on very loud in which case I throw temper tantrums. Haha. Well, I use
tougher measures.’
Pale Horse Zombie Stomper Heels
Retrospective notes.
1. I know intuitively and through direct observation that when El Phaba
says she is ‘moving out soon’ she is lying. And, when she says she wishes she
had a garden or is moving out so she can have a garden herself, she has little
or no interest personally in having a garden. She is testing and toying with me
manipulatively, trying to make me feel guilt or some other emotion that
obviously isn’t there - otherwise, I would understand the intention behind her
words! Therefore, when she said that her shoe-stomping upstairs was not
intentional, I strongly suspect that this too is a lie. And the hastiness of
the response simply represents her need for an effective cover of deception.
The impact gave the impression of honesty at least on a superficial, physical
level. I realise, in fact, that another reason for telling me she is moving out
when clearly she has no intention of moving is that, when I did her horoscope,
I mentioned that a long period of restriction regarding her home life was at
that time finally lifting. I did not know, of course, that the time of birth
she gave me was entirely bogus although I did keep saying that I did not really
believe the time she had received in a dream was ‘the’ time. I did, however, believe
it might be related to, or reflective of, her and her life in some way.
Like many of the Bengali men I used to work with, such people are prone
to tell a lie before they even consider the truth because they live in a world
of fear and manipulation. We all do to some extent but this is a distinctive
quality of their culture generally, I have found. In other words, their
ancestors must have mastered the art of manipulation centuries ago. Then again,
it could just be the result of having to work at receiving attention or getting
one’s needs met when growing up in large families. More than likely, it is a
combination of influences, including a lack of discipline. They can be very
cunning and know that, whereas truth binds them to reality, deceit can protect
them. They can ‘hide behind the veil,’ so-to-speak and choose what they reveal
or project to others to control them, potentially, or get their own way. They
are, I observe, generally focused on other people instead of expressing their
own identity or purpose even on the individualistic level that we have in the
West. They are very family-oriented, of course. I do not think it would be
unfair to suggest that their beliefs are fundamentally collectivist, based on
group superiority complex via group identity, cultural conditioning and
conformity. ‘We are Borg. Resistance is futile.’
2. I do not believe that El Phaba had any intention of moving out at
all. Otherwise, she would be spending much of her time - or at least some of it
- out looking at alternative places to live. She never did move anyway. I
believe this is a manipulative ploy that is designed to scare me or something.
Or to test my response to judge how much I care or value her although she said
it on one occasion without bothering to do this, as though it was something she
had decided to tell me at every opportunity for whatever reason. El Phaba is
very psychic and claims to be clairvoyant (she offered me a reading but then
avoided me - which has turned out to be a permanent situation!). I think she
believes she knows or senses my fears, or what I don’t want and would prefer to
avoid; that is, another change of tenant and the landlord possibly selling the
house which is a threat I mentioned to her during our previous friendly chats.
“Life gets easier actually - after it’s fallen apart...We’ll tell you we
may not make your lives easier but we’ll definitely make them better. Easier is
not necessarily better. When you decide to follow your spirit with each breath
and each step, your spirit will require you at levels you can’t even imagine
and you will do it and you will co-create with other beings who are dedicated
to living Heaven. One of the main shifts that happens as your consciousness
moves what we call 5th-dimensionally you find that you are
completely accepting of what you are as a 3rd and 4th-dimensional
being. In other words, if you’re being an asshole, you do it with gusto. We
talk about doing it with gusto and the reason we do this is because most of the
spiritual practices on the planet are designed to keep you denying parts of
yourself. You’re probably not operating from your divinity because your
divinity will include it. OK? The difference is that if you’re operating 3rd-dimensionally,
all you’re focused on is what is wrong with you and you’re trying to earn or
learn your way out of here. If you’re focused 4th-dimensionally you’re
a recovering human and you are trying to save [? or fix yourself and everybody
else with the planet?]. You’re still focused on what’s wrong with you and
everybody else.
And, when you go 5th-dimensionally, you
become focused on Heaven and building Heaven on Earth with other people. And
stuff comes up. It isn’t like instantaneously you’re perfected. ‘Oh, I’ll never
be pissed again.’ Ha, right! Not if you use divine will. You’ll be pissed
plenty of times. Allowing yourself to be whole: when it comes up, the
difference is, as it comes up, you go, ‘Yeah, that’s part of my wholeness but
it’s out here; it isn’t your whole vision. It’s, ‘OK Spirit, what do you want
me to do with it? Do you want me to ignore it? Do you want me to process it? Do
you want me to go work with somebody? Do you want me to go to this workshop?
What do you want me to do with it? It no longer is your reality.
Processing yourself is no longer the goal. Over the years, Ariel has been known
to beg people to quit processing. And the reason for that is if you make
processing what is real for you, the Universe will rearrange itself around it ad
nauseum. And you will have so much to process that you will have no way
that you can follow your spirit or live Heaven because you’ll process all of
this life, all your genetic line, every incarnation you’ve got. You’ll start
processing the entire planet. Then you’ll start processing other planets. You’re
all incarnate on at least 350 other planets - at least. You’ll start processing
those. You have effectively eliminated yourself as a person who can co-create
Heaven.
Now, this doesn’t mean that stuff doesn’t come up -
it does. But it’s no longer the goal. The goal is living Heaven and following
your spirit. Anything that gets in the way of that goal will be dealt with
swiftly and cleanly.”
- Tashira Tachi-ren (excerpt from the ‘No Rules’
talk at the Star Visions Conference, December 1996).
Monster feet made from old pair of shoes, some yellow foam, fur and Halloween teeth
May 1. She has been walking around in shoes and dropping
things very loudly on the floor again (including at 1 a.m. on occasion) almost
all the time since we talked (by that I mean all the time that she is awake
and at home). As I have said before, it would be impossible to endure all this
if I had to get up and go to a job early in the morning. I’m paying a price for
my freedom. Ultimately, our society has lost the caring and respectful attitude
of my grandparents’ generation. They didn’t have carpets. They laid lino down
in every room (on top of newspaper which provided additional insulation).
According to my father, the people who lived above my grandparents were also
too scared to ever walk around in shoes anyway because my grandfather was an
aggressive drunk and would have lost his temper.
All the heavy walking is very unpleasant and does at least seem and feel
like the person has turned into some kind of ogre at the top of the beanstalk!
I believe it is an unconscious desire to block out my existence (forget that I
live here, perhaps even out of resentment for one thing or another) but an
unconscious drive for dominion which includes a rejection, a fear of the
unknown and subsequent denial of my depth, uniqueness and cultural variance. It
is an unconscious projection of a desire for power, callously allowing
unconscious antagonism to bubble away. In other words, El Phaba is attempting
to dump some of her own pain on me. At the same time, I believe that she is
selfish in a similar way to the next-door neighbours as though this behaviour
is part of a cultural or genetic belief system. It is a belief that they can do
as they wish and are not obliged to show any consideration to others and
therefore will simply continue to do as they please without caring about anyone
else. It is imported fascism. Self-righteous fascists have a simple rule which
is to deny that they are doing anything harmful or unreasonable, to basically
lie and not consider other options, to justify their power instead of expanding
their awareness. That is the nature of oppression in which they engage.
At the same time that her career ambitions have been launched El Phaba
is unconsciously attempting to silence my vibration, to block out my truth, in
order to justify identifying with the System which she feels she must do if she
is ever to have the security and ‘freedom’ she wants. So, it’s like I now
represent everything and everyone that challenges the System, a kind of ‘us and
them’ stance. She is blocking out what I represent within herself. She is
afraid of it and believes she must sacrifice this in order to survive and ‘get
ahead’ in the game. That which would hold her back materially, however, would
take her further forward spiritually. It is a conflict by design. The System
exists to separate people from their true selves. It divides people; it causes
people to dislike each other and compete against each other. People can conjure
illusions in their minds. It’s like they listen to that little devil on their
left shoulders telling them lies until eventually a negative picture is painted
of the other person. Then they are too scared to talk to the person because the
truth will be revealed and they will have to face themselves and let go of the
barriers they have erected.
Perhaps this is correct: Fabala is just focused on her career and has no
time to care about the neighbour downstairs. She has simply switched off having
decided that I am not worthy of respect or that I represent something she is
fighting against in herself. She may even make more noise when she is reminded
of my presence as a release of stress and aggression; that is, she is taking
her own unresolved problems out on me. I have, of course, probably invited all
of this trouble into my life by accepting and allowing people to express power
over me and interfere with my life: being too shy and gentle, sensitive and
nervous, for all those years when my will was pronounced ‘dead.’
This is either pure conjecture or astute perception; one or the other
anyway!
3 May. 7.30 a.m. El Phaba got up and took a few steps in
her shoes. She was then quiet again. She walked around in shoes a lot last
night until late again. It sounded like she had gone back to bed again and didn’t
walk around again until 9 a.m. [Retrospective note: Ah, well, the mornings are
another issue. El Phaba did this a lot from this period onwards - walked around
in shoes after getting up and then seemed to put them on again just before
going to work - but eventually she returned to putting her shoes on closer to
the time of going out. As part of my own ascension practice, I started getting
up first at 7.30 a.m. and then at 7 a.m., because it increases my energy to
some degree, and I was also starting to go to bed earlier and get sufficient
rest, not carry on working and whatnot until I could no longer keep my eyelids
open!]
6 May. Someone threw a plastic bag containing the remains
of raw fish into the front garden. Darth Maul walked around in shoes EXTREMELY
loudly for awhile from 7.30 p.m., deliberately stamping her feet on the floor.
So: this is what results from asking the Phantom Menace politely not to wear
shoes upstairs. She makes more noise! I simply regard her as misguided,
however. She doesn’t seem to realise what she is doing to herself. As with the
cake that Buddha refused to receive, she is keeping herself in a low vibration
where true joy and happiness remain locked out. It is a little battle between
Light and dark and it is evidently going on within myself as well. I am the
Light here, however, and the neighbours are allowing themselves to be shrouded
in darkness. So be it. Let the Light win. I actually feel grateful for the
challenge to be the Light amidst the darkness.
I played some music in the evening; not loudly at all, just to cover up
the noise she was making as she stamped her shoes whilst walking around
upstairs. Soon afterwards, she popped out for a few minutes again. Personally,
I believe that the only place Fabala could have gone in that short space of
time was next door, perhaps to ask if they could hear any music. Well, they
should be able to hear it at an equal volume although sound rises so perhaps it
was a bit louder upstairs. Regardless, as I said, it was not at all loud. The
mystery continues! [Retrospective note: this was the first time I had put any
music on without listening to it through headphones for several months and it
had been only an occasional thing for a couple of years - since the woman moved
in upstairs].
24 May. Sunday. El Phaba has been walking around in shoes
for much of the day, including the uncarpeted floor in the hall and kitchen.
Excruciatingly loud!
Perhaps the best - or easiest and even customary – response is to knock
on the ceiling randomly with a big stick!
Baldrick (Tony Robinson): Do not despair, sir. All
my talk of food was just a dead herring. In fact, I have a cunning plan. This
is not food, but an escape kit.
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Good Lord!
A saw, a hammer, a chisel, a gun, a change of clothes, a Swiss passport and a
huge false moustache, I may just stand a chance.
Baldrick: Ah....
Blackadder: Let's see, what have we here? A small painted
wooden duck.
Baldrick: Yeah, I thought if you get caught near water, you
can balance it on the top of your head as a brilliant disguise.
- Blackadder Goes Forth (Series
4, Episode 2, written by Richard Curtis and Ben Elton, BBC TV, 1989).
