Arrr! See CONTENTS for links to the 125 chapters of The Monstaville Memoirs plus introductions, conclusions, postscripts and appendices. This treasure trove also includes a collection of articles offering further insights into the themes explored in the trilogy. Namely, managing suffering and conflict (dealing with hostile people if you are nervous, sensitive or shy) and learning not to react
You can cry a million tears
You can wait a million years
If you think that time will change your ways
Don't wait too long
When your morning turns to night
Who'll be loving you by candlelight
If you think that time will change your ways
Don't wait too long
Maybe I got a lot to learn
Time can slip away
Sometimes you got to lose it all
Before you find your way
Take a chance, play your part
Make romance, it might break your heart
But if you think that time will change your ways
Don't wait too long
It may rain, it may shine
Love will age like fine red wine
But if you think that time will change your ways
Don't wait too long
Maybe you and I got a lot to learn
Don't waste another day
Maybe you got to lose it all
Before you find your way
Take a chance, play your part
Make romance, it might break your heart
But if you think that time will change your ways
Don't wait too long
Don't wait
Hmm... Don't wait
I don't believe anybody can describe the pain I'm feeling. I'm waking up to a nightmare each morning. I can't really cope with this pain even though it's much less intense than the first day (I never imagined it possible to endure that much pain). I feel like the walking dead, enduring eternal damnation (for my sins in past lifetimes no doubt).
Doing whatever I can to numb the pain. There's nothing to take my mind off it because I no longer care about anything much. Working is the last thing I want to do since it does nothing to engage more positive emotions. But life goes on. Unfortunately.
Pain forces us to feel more. And pain of this intensity does not allow one's heart to close as it usually does in response to pain. It's a hole in the heart, a gaping crack, and all you can do is feel the pain and hope that, through surrender, you will one day feel the love that's also there more powerfully than the pain. Or break through to the other side where inner peace can be felt. It's a total eclipse of the heart is what it is.
If cupid's arrow has your name on it there's no way of avoiding it, for good or ill.
I don't want to go into it any deeper than this. I just thought I'd share these thoughts here.
The Dangers of Staying in Bed by Philippe Halsman, 1946
Update (same day): I have since learned that she is my twin flame, not a soul mate, and came to break my heart but may also return at some point. And the reason is for the very sentiments expressed above. Namely, that this experience is meant to make me feel more, to feel through it until it's released. I feel so much better for a cry and a hug with a wise friend who helped me to understand what this is all about, as she's gone through the same thing herself.
By the Celestial White Beings and Archangel Michael
Channelled through Natalie Glasson, 18 September 2015
Celestial White Beings: All periods of Ascension upon the
Earth are both beautiful and magnificent, however the point of Ascension which
has been reached by humanity currently is intriguing and interesting for both
souls on the Earth and the inner planes to observe and witness. As you know the
Crystalline energies are creating a surge of light which they are linking into
the Earth and all of humanity to create powerful purification and processes of
release, where habits, patterns and lessons of growth which have been present
throughout numerous lifetimes are being erased and completed in order to bring
forth new energies from within your being. The new awakening of energy from
within your being and soul signifies a new phase of existence for all upon the
Earth, in truth the creation of a new reality. It is important to remember that
your reality is not outside of you it is created from within your being from
your consciousness, beliefs and perspectives. The creation of a new reality
doesn’t mean that the world around you will suddenly be transformed and new. It
signifies that your consciousness, beliefs and perspectives will alter and
shift giving the impression as well as allowing you to recreate and recognise
your reality outside of you in new ways.
While the Crystalline energy is paving the way for
transformation the Goddess energy is more fully awakening within the universe
of the Creator and within your own being bringing forth her creativity and
wisdom to inspire healing and the new awakening of energy from within. The
Goddess energy is encouraging you to recognise yourself with new fresh eyes as
a greater manifestation and expression of the Creator. It is your purpose on
the Earth to express the Creator. It is a mission which fills all with joy and
fulfilment because it is your natural existence to be in unison and oneness
with the Creator, whatever label you use to define the Creator. The Goddess
energies are encouraging you to remember the beauty of the Creator so it may
reform in your consciousness and being, therefore being projected into your
reality.
With these two sacred energies and the support of the
Universe of the Creator the time of the Divine Human is dawning and manifesting
upon the Earth from the souls of many. It is time to recognise yourself as a
Divine Human which signifies that your physical body is transforming to be
unified with all aspect of your soul and the Creator. Most importantly you are
being invited and are already letting go of the human aspect and consciousness
of your being. This is not to let go of the physical body more so it is to
release the human consciousness, perspective and awareness to replace it with a
divine consciousness which will manifest in harmony with your physical body. Your
physical body in the coming years will alter dramatically as it takes on more
light and merges extensively with your soul and the Creator. This can be
labelled Ascension or Enlightenment and yet it is something which has very
rarely been experienced on the Earth before. The merging and marriage of the
physical body with the divine essence. You are already experiencing this. You
know you are a soul in a physical body however greater aspects of the soul will
download into your physical body causing your body to advance becoming its
greatest potential. This means your body will no longer be restricted,
developing new abilities, skills and freedom.
Archangel Michael now wishes to share with you a story which
highlights the transitions you may have made in the past and how these are
still relevant. Archangel Michael is also sharing with you the journey which is
being taken by all to become a Divine Human upon the Earth; the marriage of the
Divine Consciousness with the physical body which is transforming into a divine
physical body. There are many messages of growth within Archangel Michael’s
story so please enjoy.
Archangel Michael: A soul so beautiful, powerful and radiant
manifests into a physical body on the Earth. We will label the soul Joseph,
allowing the soul to take a physical male form. Joseph is now a fully grown
adult and has spent much time discovering and learning about the world that
exists on the Earth. The light that was so bright at his birth still remains,
but Joseph is no longer aware of this aspect of his being; his mind and aura
have been filled with other ideas, distractions and desires. Joseph feels that
there is something missing from his reality. He longs for something but cannot
pinpoint what it is that he misses so much. He feels sadness inside of him even
when he is happy and his life is going well.
Joseph decides that he must allow himself to escape and to
embark on a journey, he doesn’t know where he will go or what he will do but
the freedom gives him a feeling of exhilaration and excitement. He decides that
although he wishes to travel he will walk everywhere so that he can be reliant
only on himself. Joseph begins to pack some bags, unaware of how long he will
be gone or where he will go he packs many items of clothing, tools to help him
survive and even books to amuse him on his journey. He leaves his home laden
down with bags but he cannot feel their weight his enthusiasm is carrying him
forward and knowingness that he will need all these items allows the bags to
feel extremely light. He begins to walk with a spring in his step; he is not
sure where he is going but decides to be creative in his decisions.
Gradually the bags begin to become a burden, his enthusiasm
has waned and he begins to curse the bags and himself for bringing them. He no
longer feels free but tied down, just as he had felt before he left. He sits
down and begins to rummage through his bags, throwing out unnecessary things
until he has one small bag that holds the basics of what he will need to
survive. He leaves his unneeded items at the foot of someone’s door with a note
telling them to take what they wish and share the rest. Again his enthusiasm
has risen. After a long day of creative decisions he finds himself by a river
and decides to rest against a tree. He brings out his book and begins to read,
completely entering into the fantasy world of the book. The wind begins to
weave through the trees at the river side, blowing his book across the ground.
He leaves the book and huddles into his clothes for warmth.
Joseph has very few belonging and the day is growing dark,
he begins to wonder why he wanted to escape his reality, why he thought that
the reality he has created for himself now would be any better than his
previous reality. He still felt as if he was carrying so many bags, so many
burdens and wondered if there was any beauty, freedom and excitement in the
Earth’s reality for him to experience. The wind continued to weave roughly
through the trees as Joseph held tightly to his body and clothes for warmth and
comfort. He felt as if the wind was speaking to him although he heard no voice.
The wind was demonstrating to him that he needed to let all his burdens be
blown away from him. Joseph began to think about all the things he had done
which he felt ashamed about, he just let them be blown away by the wind. Then
he contemplated all the times he had experienced pain and sadness allowing all
these emotions and energetic wounds to be carried away on the wave of the wind.
He wondered what else there was for him to let go and realised that he must
send his forgiveness on the wave of the wind to the people he blamed for
hurting him or doing wrong to him in the past, he had allowed himself to be
hurt. Already he felt his body was so much lighter and he could feel the
sadness that had been with him always being eased and yet the wind still blew
with vigour around him. He challenged himself as to what was left to let go.
He realised he had already detached from the people around
him by even embarking on this journey, he still loved them deeply but knew now
that if he had to be on his own he would be perfectly happy and could look
after himself. Still holding tightly to his body he realised something that
needed his attention. He had to let go of himself. He had to let the wind carry
away all his perceptions of himself, the ideas he had formed about himself,
good or bad, the way in which he spoke to himself, the things that he loved and
hated about himself, as well as his dreams and desires for the future which he
had built in his mind from the influences of his personality and of other
people. He slowly began to release his tight grip on himself physically and
energetically. He was happy for big chunks of himself to be carried away from
him and waited eagerly to see what would remain.
He broke down into floods of tears, it was hurting so much
to release certain ideas of himself but he was also filled with so much joy and
freedom. He realised that he had been waiting all his life to achieve this and
knew that it was something he would continue to achieve in his future.
Falling asleep he drifted into a dream of a tree shooting
from the soil of the Earth. He watched as the tree grew and grew in strength
and character. The tree was tied to one spot for its life and yet it held such
freedom within its reality. He then felt himself as a tree shooting from the
Earth’s soil right next to the first tree. He could feel worry in his body that
he was growing too close to the other tree. He became taller and taller and his
anxiety built. Then the wind blew once more and reminded him to let go of his
anxiety and to just observe. Joseph allowed the wind to carry his anxiety and
worry away, to his amazement as a tree he began to merge with the first taller
tree. As he slipped into the tree’s energy and consciousness he realised he had
accepted a tremendous freedom within his being. Although he couldn’t move from
his location he felt strong and free from burdens. He felt clear inside his
mind, heart and emotions. Nothing bothered him anymore. He understood he didn’t
have to be like other people. He didn’t need to have what others created. He
could just be himself and be happy in the reality he created for himself. He
knew if any energies, thoughts or emotions rose within him to challenge the freedom
and peace he had created he could just ask the wind to carry them away as long
as he was ready to give them to the wind. He appreciated he could live happily
with many things around him or he could live basically. Joseph also grasped
that if it started to rain, hail or snow, then he would still be happy and
outside experiences couldn’t destroy the peace, strength and freedom he had
manifested within him. The freedom brought about tremendous joy which only
filled him with even more courage in his convictions.
A bright sun shone down on him as he existed as a tree, he
had taken on all the consciousness of the first tree and now felt a tremendous
unity and connection to everything. The sun seemed to continue to shine
brighter; it was as if thousands of lights were dancing around him. He imagined
himself opening his chest up to the light and allowing the light to flood into
his being.
He woke suddenly from his dream, it was morning and he had
been asleep all night with his back up against the trunk of the tree. His body
felt electrified, buzzing with light. He wondered if it had all been a dream
but remembered the pain as he explored his energy.
A knowingness came from inside of him, ‘You have cut
yourself free from the influence of Humanity’s Consciousness! You have given
yourself freedom to think and feel as you wish, not from your personality or
the influence of others but from your soul. I am your soul and I am here to
guide you forward. My mission is to merge with your physical body so completely
that we represent the Creator upon the Earth in a sacred physical body, with
divine emotions and consciousness. We are manifesting the Divine Incarnate so
we may inspire all to remember their truth thus achieving the same for
themselves. Let us now embark on the real journey together. In your dream you
merged with a greater tree, that was me, your soul, we are one Joseph. Observe
your body. It is charged with light and transforming beyond your imagination.
Observe your heart and mind. They are open and clear as the consciousness of
the Creator penetrates. My energy is here always to guide you. Remember nothing
on the Earth can create an identity for you; your true identity is your soul
and the Creator. You know this in your mind now is the time to experience it!’
Joseph stood up tall and stretched his body, he felt
different. What shall we do he asked himself and the answer came instantly.
AMuch anger is of the negative ego.
However, there is a Christ quality that Edgar Cayce spoke of as positive anger
- what I like to call the fervour or righteous indignation of the spiritual
warrior. When anger arises, instead of squashing it, channel it into personal
power, tough love and the spiritual warrior archetype. There is enormous
personal power in anger. It is only negative if it is misdirected. Use that
energy to right wrongs, exercise, clean the house or meditate. Then it becomes
transformed and has a positive effect.@
- Joshua David Stone (Golden Keys
to Ascension and Healing. Revelations of Sai Baba and the Ascended Masters,
Light Technology Publishing, Sedona, Arizona, U.S., 1998, p.22).
Other
Dated Incidents (May 2009 onwards) and Extra Notes.
3 May. Evening. The neighbours were very
noisy until approximately 12.30 a.m. El Phaba has been quiet this evening since
coming home. I believe this is coordinated because it happened several times
this way with Fabala going to bed earlier than usual and walking around in
shoes at an earlier time in the morning. Little do they know that I set my
alarm for 7.30 a.m. even if I go to bed at 2 a.m. these days. [Note: Actually,
on this occasion, Elphie was not loud until 10.20 a.m. at which time she was
very loud and stamping her feet deliberately like Rumpelstiltskin!
Perhaps she couldn’t resist having a lie in].
9
May. 23.53. The phone rang and the person hung up as soon as I
answered. [This occurred a few times during this period].
"If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience." - Robert Fulghum.
27
June. Saturday evening from 8 p.m. onwards. El Phaba had the volume
of her TV turned up loud and walked around in shoes (this is approximately 5
days after I gave her the apology card). She didn’t go out. It was quiet
between 9.15 and 10.15 p.m., then ‘shoes’ again until 11.30. It is interesting
when you raise your frequency to a certain point: you get a vague sense of how
it felt for Buddha. It does not affect you as much so the other person does not
have the power they seek. They are simply walking around in their own mud,
splashing themselves each time they stamp their feet in it. Yes, it’s
unpleasant isn’t it? Why should you cause disturbance to me and not be on the
receiving end? Do you really believe I’m such a mug just because I am a gentle,
loving guy?
1
July. El Phaba started walking around in shoes again, morning and
evening. It’s bright, sunny weather – not at all wintry! I felt so much tension
and reaction that it ruined my day. So I shouted to release it. Afterwards, I
figured, well, if someone’s giving me stress to start the day with isn’t it a
good idea to reflect that back so they know how it feels as well? Angel cards: Strength and Tenderness (lol). So, ‘You’re making a choice. Either you want to
live where there’s a high/happy/harmonious vibration or you want to be low
vibrational and drag other people down with you. You may think you’re alright
but you’re not because you are creating or contributing to the chaos and the
negativity.’ There, you know: you offer people a chance for reconciliation and
they don’t take it because it wasn’t pace and harmony they wanted n the first
place but someone to dump their shit on!
ABeloved
Ones, We come together once again to speak of the language of the times past,
the language that was used and the spoken words of the time I was in carnation.
There are many differences which lead you to a misunderstanding, a distraction
from the true meaning of the words. A word such as >mercy= had a meaning of love,
understanding, and forgiveness. In the time of my incarnation, to be merciful
meant to kind, understanding, free of judgement. The word >meek= also had much the same meaning, yet
this word >meek= was of the highest vibration, a
word of mastery, a word meaning those who live in truth, integrity, love,
wisdom, understanding, compassion and forgiveness. The words >the meek shall inherit the earth=, have been misconstrued over time
by the vibrations of those who have interpreted my words. It is time for you to
understand this and know the meaning. >The meek shall inherit the earth= is as relevant now as when I said
those words and gave those vibrations in times past. There are other
misunderstandings in the teachings I have given you. All is not as it seems in
the teachings I have given you.@ - Jeshua (channelled through Rev.
Michelle Coutant, >You Are The Expansiveness Of The All
That Is,=
23 October 2009, www.transformingradiance.com).
Extra
loose note. Back in March, St. Germain summed up what
I wanted by saying, ‘You want out of the box.’ I originally thought the box
referred to limitations generally but perhaps he also meant this little torture
chamber although it could be argued that this experience is a manifestation of
my own aversion to being confined to a third-dimensional body, a physical ego,
a slow vibration. Mortal life is finally reduced to a wave goodbye. The old
skin is brittle. It has lost its colour, its sheen. It has become a burden that
must be shed. It has no other use now than to depart and make way for the
glorious new snake emerging into the world. Or, imagine lying in an initiation
box in Ancient Egypt for three days, battling with your separate self and
unconscious demons. By the end, whether you have succeeded or failed, you
simply can’t endure anymore! And, perhaps now that we are in the End Times, now
that the old skin of 3D confinement is finally ending once and for all on this
planet, the Grace and Mercy of the Source is finding its way into our hearts.
The Prodigal Son might still be wandering aimlessly, bitterly, lost and
forlorn, through the woods. He has not yet chosen to return home. Yet, the old
world which he inhabits is being shed like the skin of a snake. A dazzling new
crystalline creature is being born and if he responds to this new Light enough
to release some of his grievances, enough to make space to receive the gifts of
this new life, if his heart is sufficiently open to surrender to the fullness
of his being, if he can still dream, if he can forgive himself for past wrongs
(stretching back throughout his lifetimes), then he will surf the quantum leap
forward and arrive in the new Heaven on Earth. Indeed, each and every step that
he makes in this direction ensures the Victory of the Golden Age. For, he is
not alone but one of many, many, many people on Earth who are moving through
this process of self-unfoldment at different rates. The Goddess Light is here
and we have only to open our hearts to receive it.
"Whatever it is, these are your creations based upon limited patterns of reality that you have accepted. These are your Karmic balance sheets. Natural law, Karmic law provides that human beings have had a certain amount of time, a certain period in which to explore the realm of Karma. Of birth and rebirth and death and re‑death in the search for balance. In the search for the beyond. For the deeper reality, for that which creates birth and death, that which is beyond. Now is the time for these experiments in consciousness to come to fruition...You can choose to live out this Karmic balance as most are or to align with Spirit and allow the Light to transmute what remains of your Karmic imbalances. But at that point when planet Earth makes her leap into the higher dimension all of this must be cleared and balanced in one way or the other." - Sananda on 'Grace' (www.crawford2000.co.uk/sananda.htm).
Being
buried alive in a coffin is one thing. Having people knock on the lid and the
sides, however, is another! Living in a cardboard box, one is vulnerable.
Defending your space and enduring and releasing stress, surviving, deterring
without provoking further violence, developing strength and patience…is a
delicate balance. I cannot see that this has anything to do with love unless
being in such a situation is the result of not having loved myself enough. The
spirit guides, or whoever, in league with my Higher Self, put me in an
environment that would be so isolating socially and culturally, so banishing
emotionally, in order to demonstrate to me that I need people, to perhaps
motivate me to desire quality social interaction and feel overjoyed, relieved
and grateful for it when it finally arrived. Or, perhaps it just wasn’t
feasible for me whilst crippled by fatigue/attention difficulties, poverty and,
as a sensitive, creative individual alone, alienated by this society. I expect
I needed to withdraw from society and finally did completely both because I was
busy working on my books, struggling to survive and had not made any new
friends since moving to London this time (I was also slowly losing the
‘friends’ I did have).
"The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter." - Unknown.
7
July. Full Moon Eclipse. El Phaba had a cold for a few days and was
off work. Today, she started walking around in shoes again. The weather’s
colder admittedly this time but there still isn’t any excuse for not wearing
slippers.
8
July. Elphie came back from work and had friends round. She wore
shoes after they had left and then off and on all evening. I threw something at
the ceiling because I had a headache and was trying to rest at some point.
Then, at 11.15 she was walking in shoes and deliberately dropped something heavy
on the floor, evidently just before going to bed. It all seems to be kicking
off again. This and now I have money problems again as well (having reached the
edge of my overdraft). Additionally, the Atishoo family next-door were talking
loudly again this evening past 1 a.m. All of this is occurring at a time when I
have started going to bed before 11 p.m. again for the first time since the
next-door neighbours obliterated my healthy sleeping pattern several years ago.
This is the fifth day after starting to retire earlier. Now, the neighbours
start making loads of noise from 10.30/11 p.m. onwards just like the situation
years ago. I hope this stops! I played one song on my stereo loudly with no
headphones this morning because I was kept awake till 1 a.m. She can always
write me a nice letter asking me to stop playing loud music for up to 5 minutes
each morning. I recall the old problem of finding it hard to sleep as a result
of having been lying in bed for so long without being allowed to sleep.
ALife
is carefully planned and no one crosses your path unless there is a reason for
it.@
- SaLuSa (channelled through Mike Quinsey, 9 September 2009,
www.gfbymikequinsey.blogspot.com).
AWhen
you remember that nothing can come into your experience without your Vibrational
invitation of it, then you do the simple work of paying attention to your own
Vibrational offering, and you save yourself the enormous and impossible task of
controlling the behaviour of others. When you remember that the varied
behaviour of others adds to the balance and the Well‑Being of your planet even
if they offer behaviour that you do not approve of; and that you do not have to
participate in the unwanted behaviour, and will not ‑ unless you give your
attention to it ‑ you become more willing to allow others to live as they choose.
My
Imagination Attracts All Cooperative Relationships...You have the power to
evoke from others the relationships that you desire. But you cannot get to a
new‑and‑improved situation by giving your attention to the current situation.
The Universe, and all physical and Non‑Physical players in it, is responding to
the Vibrations that you are offering; and there is no distinction made between
the Vibrations that you offer as you observe, and the Vibrations that you offer
as you imagine...If you will simply imagine your life as you want it to be, all
cooperative components will be summoned. And even more important, all
components that are summoned will cooperate. It is Law. The experience that you
have with others is about what you evoke from them...
Making Peace with My Today Will Improve My
Future...It may sound odd, but the fastest way to get to a new‑and‑improved
situation is to make peace with your current situation. By making lists of the
most positive aspects you can find about your current situation, you then
release your resistance to the improvements that are waiting for you. But if
you rail against the injustices of your current situation, you hold yourself in
Vibrational alignment with what you do not want, and you cannot then move in
the direction of improvement. It defies Law. In every particle of the Universe,
there is that which is wanted ‑ and the lack of it.@
- Abraham through Esther Hicks (The
Vortex. Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA., U.S., 2009, www.abraham‑hicks.com).
13
July onwards. A baby is crying until 12 or 1 a.m. each
night. At the same time, El Phaba is stomping in shoes very loudly in the
mornings again (from about 7 a.m.). But now I see that this is probably not
consciously coordinated but a response in them to the New Moon energies or the
accelerated energies arriving on the planet and highlighting their negative
emotions, perhaps further encouraged by malevolent astral forces.
20
July. 12.28 p.m. Maltesers has been ‘sneezing’ repeatedly very
loudly but they are so fake as though she is doing it to entertain children. I
heard a baby cry after that. 12.50 p.m. The fake coughing was more serious this
time.
Extra
loose note. My next-door neighbours and Pigsy are
perhaps people who, unless you connect with them fully, are likely to turn
hostile because they will know that you don’t like them enough. However, when I
say ‘fully,’ I mean fully as a subconscious rather than fully conscious person
like they are because they are also afraid of the truth, of facing themselves.
They are people who have a need to feel important and perhaps expect to get
their own way and are used to connecting with people easily so they can
manipulate them; that is, they engage people on an emotional level through
superficial cultural and economic issues that most people respond and relate to.
Someone like me who thinks for themselves and has more depth does not just go
along with it and join them in shared emotional connectedness where they can be
easily manipulated. My middle names are Freedom and Independence.
23
July. When I went out into the garden in the morning someone had
thrown a children’s musical toy (cymbals sandwiched between slabs of wood), a
big plastic sword and a small, soft, infant’s ball over the wall. I couldn’t be
arsed to consider what to do with them so I followed my gut reaction and threw
them on to their flat kitchen roof. Evening. 11.30 p.m. onwards: Loud
screaming, shouting and knocking by the young boy next door for about 45
minutes. This was followed by a very very loud knocking sound at 12.50 a.m.
25
July. The kids next door were crashing around and shouting until 1
a.m. I shouted and swore through the wall repeatedly but it had no effect. I
believe this is a new practice or harassment campaign in which my neighbours
are using their children to create the noise disturbance that is designed to
prevent me from sleeping. I mean, how come they never made any noise at this
hour before now?
Extra
loose note. Noisy neighbours: It is people’s
aggressive egos taking advantage of an opportunity to display power and
supremacy, to overpower others because they can get away with it without much
risk and they are too weak and ill-disciplined to resist the temptation. At
home, it is not so easy to simply turn away from the intimidation. You have no
escape. You can’t hide in a corner with headphones all day and night! So, I
have had to defend my space like my cat protects his territory. We have both
had to go a bit mad in order to achieve that sometimes but there is simply no
choice! We can’t afford invasion by bullies!
26
July. Morning. El Phaba walked around in shoes at 8 a.m. It’s the
first time she’s done this since last weekend.
“Like too
much alcohol, self-consciousness makes us see ourselves double, and we make the
double image for two selves - mental and material, controlling and controlled,
reflective and spontaneous. Thus instead of suffering we suffer about
suffering, and suffer about suffering about suffering.” – Alan Watts.
29
July. Yes, it’s all happening now! El Phaba is establishing her old
pattern of being quiet most of the time and then walking in shoes (very loudly)
just briefly, once in the morning and once late at night (between 10.30 and
11-ish). She is making sure she doesn’t miss a day (she’s being behaving like
this for a few days). The next-door neighbours are making a racket once a day
too (between 11.30 p.m. and 1 a.m., often for the whole period). So, this is
how things are if I am quiet and do not respond. Try this for a while and then
see if some music helps to alter their course. Who can say if it is
‘intentionally’ coordinated? That word- ‘intentional’ – it’s not a word I would
have expected Fabala to use spontaneously. It feels as though the quick
response was actually pre-conceived, thought out long ago ready to deliver
should I ever confront her about the noise. Hmmm.
2
August. Late at night (12.30 a.m. or something). The son knocked on
the wall with a solid object for five minutes and then drove home. I was up and
busy so it didn’t affect me. That is: they are making sure that they create
some loud noise late on Sunday evenings to disturb me as I am trying to get to
sleep.
9
September. I meditated a lot today, tuning into
Metatron in particular, trying to maximise the benefit I get from the incoming
energies on this special day, which is a landmark for the planetary ascension
process, the point of no return. El Phaba made a lot of noise today as have the
neighbours: loud TV for a short while followed by loud kids right next to my
wall for over an hour from 10.35 p.m. onwards. It was unbearable and I asked
God, the Source, to silence them if It cared! I said I understood I was being
tortured and that I was not creating this myself (although I know it is likely
that my subconscious has something to do with it). The neighbours fell silent
immediately much to my surprise. There was a little noise some time later but
generally it went much quieter not least because they moved away from the
frigging wall!
10
September. I tried the ‘Petitioning of Our Supreme
Lord’ trick again today and it didn’t really work. In fact, I asked several
times and still had to endure quite a bit of noise, including ‘coughing’ (you
know the kind I mean), which included HoChaChu letting rip a ghoulish ‘sneeze’ at 10.53 p.m. [Understandably,
I knocked the petitioning on the head after that].
PLAY: The first verse of ‘Don’t Bring Me Down’ by ELO (1979).
9
October. Friday. 11.55 p.m. Ha Chu ‘sneezed’ very loudly. It was
unusually quiet all evening until then. Immediately after this, Maltesers
played with the children and the kids screamed loudly, with the father egging
them on, raising his voice – all quite deliberate you know, my dear Watson!
This was all just for 25 minutes and the noise then stopped abruptly. They then
threw some stuff near to the wall which made a very loud noise.
11
October. The next-door neighbours got home at midnight. It was
blissfully quiet all evening! Then they deliberately talked loudly and screamed
and so forth for an hour: Ha Chu, Maltesers and the children! ‘All together
now…’
Extra
loose note. Yeah, well this isn’t where I want to
live. You just do have a sensitive neighbour whom you have to consider. And,
spiritually, it’s good for you as well as for me. I’m taking you on and my
Higher Self is taking me on, perhaps. You’re only taking me on because I’m
here, because my presence here is a challenge to your collectivist beliefs and
values and fascistic attitudes.
Mid-October.
I threw about a dozen bad apples from the ground beneath the tree into their
garden (and, oops, the door to their separate little chalet thing was open).
This was in response to a stick of sugar cane bent in half and slung over the
wall into my garden - Ha Chu’s customary statement of malicious intent (usually
it is bamboo cane though).
24 October. The neighbours have been so noisy late at night each
day that I finally snapped and decided something had to be done about the
situation.I threw several small crab apples from
beneath the tree in my garden at the window of their bathroom while the old man
was having a shower.
Apparently,
1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.
And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother HoChaChu.
But I think it's Colin.
- Tommy Cooper.
Things quietened down considerably after this because they are
so proud and arrogant that my silence following Ha Chu=s
return caused them to believe that I was too scared to continue or something.
Unfortunately, I had to respond aggressively with the rotten apples because the
neighbours seemed to think that I had stopped trying to defend myself and deter
them from making so much noise late at night on account of Ha Chu=s
return from Pakistan. He was certainly in a ruthless and determined mood and
figured I had suddenly stopped on account of him. But it was due to St. Germain
cautioning us to keep both feet in the Light now. It is true, the way I was
feeling, I was building up to a bloodyminded state to match theirs and, once I
stopped shouting and swearing late through the wall late at night to try and
shut them up (failing miserably I might add) I realised that I was sinking into
a swamp of negative emotions. So, instead, I decided to explore more civilised
options again.
Regardless of the outcome, I refused to go down the route of
lowering my vibration on account of my nasty neighbours. That is not exactly my
definition of victory although, as ever, this more aggressive tactic was only
meant to be temporary anyway. It was supposed to fucking work! But, instead, it
appeared to have no effect whatsoever. In fact, I would suggest that they - the
mother and daughter (as well as the brother who took his young son round there
to join in for an hour or two from 11 or 12 onwards) were enjoying the
reaction, feeling that they were winning and had finally found a way to make my
life a misery without having to endure any comeback that they could not
comfortably handle.
I did not consider this at the time, but I was probably on the
brink of all-out war. Ha Chu probably would have justified bringing in help
from outside like last time in an attempt to scare me, to stop ME from making
such a rude racket! Too funny). Evidently, swearing is only something that he
finds offensive. And so he should, especially with children around. They should
simply shut the fuck up and leave me alone for the sake of the kids at least,
not that I myself wish any harm to any children anywhere. But the actual mother
doesn=t
give a damn about what conditions her child is raised in. I would go so far as
to say that they all positively glorify in bringing up badass Klingon babies in
the throes of psychic and emotional discord! And in the hope that they, too,
will become hardened, insensitive and prepared to do battle when required by
their kith and kin. The mother is, as they all are and as I have mentioned previously,
happy to use children as weapons. When I then sit up in bed and shout through
the wall I am directing my statements to the perpetrators of this deliberate
harassment. It is their responsibility if they are making such a rowdy noise
with their children at 12 or 1 a.m. in the morning, knowing exactly what they
are doing, their sole intention being to prevent me from sleeping or from going
to bed.
AIf
you will not fight for right when you can easily win without bloodshed; if you
will not fight when your victory is sure and not too costly; you may come to
the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a
precarious chance of survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to
fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to
live as slaves.@ - Winston Churchill.
25 October was very quiet and it was bliss! However, just when
I thought I had solved the problem, the woman upstairs then went and stomped
around so terribly loudly all evening the next day.
The noise disturbance really kicked off again towards the end
of October and involved both neighbours. It just became totally ridiculous so I
started throwing a small tin can at the ceiling a couple of times after El
Phaba had gone to bed in order to alert her mind to my plight as she was
falling asleep. I had hoped it would act as a deterrent which it did to some
extent, I believe, but I couldn’t go on behaving so wickedly indefinitely so I
stopped after a while! I also came up with another idea during this period but,
again, discontinued it after a few weeks because my intention was, as always,
to deter not torture. I would say ‘slippers’ as she was passing my flat on the
way out of the house. Oh yeah, I started doing this after initially losing m
temper and shouting ‘slippers.’ I found this hilarious and it made me laugh,
thus raising my vibration considerably and turning the experience into
something much more fun. I shouted like that for a few days whenever she walked
around in shoes but it was hard work and, again, felt too aggressive and
negative although it also felt right to release the tension and anger in such a
way.
"Don=t hold to anger, hurt or pain. They
steal your energy and keep you from love.@ ‑ Vincent Van Gogh.
Monster feet made from old pair of shoes, some yellow foam fur and Halloween teeth
Prior to this, I was doing the single shout to release tension
that St. Germain had recommended to someone, albeit directing it towards my
tormentor. I had adopted the exercise and made its additional use my own
responsibility in this psychological war, or game of chess. In a noise war, it
is, of course, noise which conveys the power and it’s difficult to win a game
of chess if the representatives of sound - say, your bishops or queen - have
been taken early on! Being thus muted is not going to help. I thought it very
effective that she could hear the righteous anger or power in my voice.
Furthermore, she might remember it during the day or dwell on it on her way to
work. A simple matter of replacing denial with truth: my truth versus her
denial! Wearing slippers isn’t just a friendly compromise when living in such
close quarters. It is the usual practice for keeping one’s feet warm at home in
this country, particularly in the colder weather of course.
Since the ‘shout’ video by St. Germain I realised on a deep
level that I had to refuse to take any anger or stress dumped on me by the
neighbours. In addition, I have been learning about vibration and not allowing
others to lower it. Hence, taking some form of action when the noise starts
causing stress, I am able to release it or comfortably rise above it. I take
action whether it is blessing or making noise of my own, whether purely for my
sanity and enjoyment or also as a deterrent, whatever I feel is appropriate or
likely to be more effective. If I feel tension the next day I release it, often
at the neighbours’ expense as a reminder that it works both ways and, again, a
deterrent. Besides, perhaps I have more right to release the tension they have
caused than they do of creating it. I am not being selfish, but practical by
simply refusing to hold their crap.
I released a significant amount of my unconscious anger and
negative emotions this year (with the help of St. Germain) so I reached a point
where I didn’t feel that the shout was actually helping to release tension
because there wasn’t much left. I discontinued the practice by late Summer but
occasionally feel inspired to use this response to the next-door neighbours,
particularly a day or a few days after Ha Chu himself fired a ‘psychic sneeze’
at me!
My shout is more like a thunderous roar! It is half release and
half shock tactic like Ha Chu’s ‘achoo.’
My next-door neighbours are ‘masters of disguise.’ They have
used the ‘hammering’ excuse at other times as well. It is clear that they’re
not hammering nails into the wall but they are using this as a façade to
legitimise the incredibly loud banging directly onto the wall with a hammer.
The fake coughing and sneezing as well as using babies like toy crying machines
(that’s how much they respect children!) is a refinement of this strategy.
“You can discover what your enemy
fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.” – Eric Hoffer.
It’s always about the intent. What is the intent behind the
actions? Is it a gentle but firm deterrent offered from a loving heart or is it
charged with hatred and cruelty? Is it responsible or abusive?
Screaming Child by Hendrick de Keyser c.1615
Extra
loose note. If you are a balanced lover and warrior
you will do whatever is necessary to protect yourself whilst minimising the
cost to your enemy. If you are an aggressive, selfish fighter, you will inflict
whatever suffering you can whenever possible without reflecting deeply on the
wisdom of such behaviour (i.e. ignorance) and without feeling any love,
remorse, compassion or forgiveness.
It has taken me the best part of ten years to figure out that I
can use an effective deterrent against the neighbours’ loud noise by giving
them a dose of their own medicine next to their toilet and in the back yard. In
fact, it took me years just to really start applying my will and intelligence
to combating the situation strategically.It has been a long process from victimhood towards mastery. Even though
my next-door neighbours are proud and arrogant, and resent having to consider
someone else, they keep forgetting that I have such power. Love doesn’t really
come into it although I am a sensitive and deeply loving person by nature,
which of course colours all of my actions, I have needed to come up with some
purely practical and necessary tools and solutions to a problem that has its
roots in ignorance and violence. Although it is also an expression of
self-love, of avoiding the stress that has been delivered to me and ensuring my
own peace of mind so I can continue to enjoy life to some degree. And, yes,
indeed, I m full of compassion for all who suffer (yet don’t take their shit
out on other people!).
"The
loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The
most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone
else suffer the way they do." - Unknown.
Baldrick (Tony Robinson):I, too, have a cunning
plan to catch the spy, sir.
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Do you,
Baldrick, do you...
Baldrick: You go round the hospital
and ask everyone, ‘Are you a German spy?’
Blackadder: Yes, I
must say, Baldrick, I appreciate your involvement on the creative side.
Baldrick: If it was me, I'd own up.
Blackadder: Of
course you would. But, sadly, the enemy have not added to the German Army
Entrance Form the requirement ‘Must have intellectual capacity of a boiled
potato.’
- Blackadder Goes Forth (Series
4, written by Richard Curtis and Ben Elton, BBC TV, 1989).
Channelled through
Natalie Glasson, 4 September 2015
In a time of such inner transformation it can be challenging
to accept or recognise that greater shifts are waiting to occur for yourself,
humanity and the Earth. Most of these shifts are inconceivable within your mind
and yet they are already present within your soul and will be transmitted to
your mind for manifestation at a physical level. You are the creator of all
shifts and transformations occurring within your being and you are also
supporting the same for humanity and the Earth. You may feel that your efforts
are not good enough or wonder how you could possibly be assisting the Earth,
even people you do not know in their ascension when you have little or no idea
of your own ascension pathway and purpose. This poises an interesting question,
is knowing and knowledge more important or valuable than faith or belief? Which
would you choose to be a key focus in your ascension pathway, the quest for
wisdom or the development of belief and trust?
I invite you to contemplate these questions because they are
two pathways, both intriguing and rewarding, however they are very different.
Many light workers seek wisdom from within their beings and in their outer
reality, they desire to have spiritual knowledge as this it seems will support
a spiritual reality and Creator embodiment. While some faith and trust is
placed upon the wisdom and knowledge gained there is a constant desire and maybe
even strive to access a greater understanding of self and the Creator in order
to move along the pathway to enlightenment. This means the light worker
may never truly embody the wisdom although they will know it well in their
minds.
Other light workers may not wish to access spiritual wisdom
and knowledge; to know within their mind the workings of the universe, the
Creator and even their own being has little value. Greater value is placed upon
belief, faith and trust in the Creator, in being on the divine pathway,
receiving all that is necessary and needed, generally being supported by the
Creator in all ways. Such people believe even when there is no evidence and yet
because of their trust in the Creator evidence comes in many moments within
their daily reality.
Which do you perceive yourself to be, a soul seeking
spiritual knowledge or a soul wishing to experience the complete embrace and
support of the Creator? I only invite you to contemplate this question as it
will bring clarity to your focus for moving easily through your ascension. It
is most probably you will recognise that you seek spiritual knowledge as well
as trust in the support of the Creator. You may also recognise that one is more
prominent within your being than the other. You may wish to look into enhancing
and further developing the area of lack as a step for greater
enlightenment. As well you may wish to acknowledge that one enhances the
mind while the other enriches the heart. The mind is always seeking answers and
in many ways can never be satisfied while the heart already knows all the
answers or wisdom and so simply seeks to exist. In order to exist there is a need
for faith, trust and belief in all that is the Creator within and around you.
With my sharing you may wish to dedicate yourself to realising the natural and
ever present vibration of faith, trust and belief within your heart. This
energy is effortless for your heart to express and to influence your entire
being, it is a constant energy which aligns you to the Creator, encouraging you
to exist in the divine flow of the Creator, continuously guided and supported.
You may deem yourself not advanced enough to access
ascension and enlightenment because you perceive you do not have the knowledge
and knowhow of others, yet if you let this go and allow yourself to focus
within, you realise you are a natural being of creation. Everything you require
and need is within your being already, there is very little searching or
seeking that is required, the greatest energies which are valuable to enhance
are your faith, trust and belief as this will allow you to accept the support
of the Creator through and around you. With these energies you welcome yourself
into a serene state where everything is easy and effortless as you have encouraged
the mind to no longer overwork as well as supporting your heart to become the
expansion it is able to be. In truth I am inviting you to change your
perspective of yourself and the way you believe you have to achieve your
ascension on the Earth. When you trust in the Creator within and around you
wisdom, knowledge and enlightenment will flow from within you with very little
effort.
This is the transition many are making on the Earth at this
time, simply it can be labelled moving from the mind to the heart and yet it is
such a complex shift only because it will influence every part of your being,
reality and the world. Allow yourself to just think for a moment all of the
belief systems that humanity holds which would be broken down and dissolved
eternally. The understanding of working in order to fulfil ones needs would be
erased, suffering especially poverty and hunger would gradually be removed even
the understanding that technology is needed to enhance lifestyles,
communication and happiness. With this simple transition of moving from the
mind and knowledge to the heart and trust the entire world would be altered and
shifted first from within your own being, then becoming evident in humanity as
well as their actions and the world.
It is very important to contemplate the changes to life upon
the Earth which would be made by people moving their trust and faith from the
mind to the heart allowing the wealth of the Creator’s light, love,
consciousness and wisdom to explode in to manifestation upon the Earth. When
you imagine all the shifts, transitions and transformations that would
automatically and naturally be made you are actually bringing them into
fruition, you are allowing your heart to bring forth new opportunities and
realities for yourself and all of humanity to experience which are
predominantly focused upon receiving and expressing the Creator. You may also
recognise that there are many people on the Earth who are fighting the process
of awakening vibrations of trust, faith and belief from their hearts, instead
they are allowing their thoughts to guide them which can only cause pain,
suffering and even destruction. For those that wish to continue to be dominated
by their quest for knowledge and any pursuit of the mind, the love of your
heart is the greatest remedy. I share this with you now as it is the present
and future shift which are occurring on the Earth. Every transition will have
this at the focus, it will be the core of all matters in your reality and the
world. It is a time for rebirth of the mind into a new divine expression,
however in order for this to occur old thought processes and perspectives are
required to be eradicated which can only take place through awakening trust,
faith and belief from your heart chakra; a direct gateway to your soul and the
Creator. With the mental body transforming so the heart chakra will be further
supported to transform impacting positively and beautifully upon all other
aspects of your being.
To begin this process I wish to share an invocation to
enhance your faith, trust and belief in igniting from your heart chakra.
‘I am aware of the shifts taking place within my being and
upon the Earth now. I am ready and willing to assist and support the necessary
transitions taking place within my being encouraging me to move my focus to
living from my heart with ease and perfection, rather than from my mind and
mental body. I realise to seek knowledge and a belief that knowledge will aid
my enlightenment no longer serves me. I instead focus my attention into my heart
chakra to allow myself to exist from my heart centre. I now invite my heart
chakra to activate the vibrations of faith, trust and belief in the Creator
flowing through me and existing all around me. As I feel and experience
vibrations of faith, trust and belief radiating from my soul through my heart
centre, I allow myself to truly experience the value and impact of these
energies on my entire being and reality. Faith, trust and belief fills my
entire being. I give my focus to my heart and allow it to bring forth through
me and attract all that is necessary and needed to allow me to understand that
my reality is supported completely and absolutely by the Creator, therefore all
is effortless and perfect. I invite myself to connect with and remember the vibrations
of faith, trust and belief available to me from my heart chakra at all times
especially as I make the transition from my mind to my heart into the truth of
the Creator. Thank you.’
Please allow yourself to experience the vibrations of faith,
trust and belief rising from within you, these are natural energies which exist
within you no matter whether you doubt or judge yourself. This simple exercise
will encourage you to recognise the Creator more fully within your being and
reality thus creating beautiful transitions for yourself and the Earth,
bringing forth enlightenment.