Lost Monstaville Journal Entries June 2002

Monstaville Journal Entries in my I Ching readings notebook

2 June 2002

Yesterday I offered to cut the Bengali neighbours’ hedge (on the far side) and made them happy. Then I broke the shears doing the other hedge and Pigsy came home at the same time so I left it as I hadn’t locked the door. Pigsy went up to his room in a visible tantrum! Such a baby. You have to accept that he is just a little boy, volatile, emotional, angry, bad-tempered and so jealous and immature. His mother evidently helped him not to grow up.

Today, I cut off from the last sexual contact and cut myself loose, so this is the first day of freedom. Beautiful, sunny day, too. Meditated for a long time. Studied the Osiris book by Sir E. A. Wallis Budge. Practised tai chi long and slow after doing standing meditation. Great. Also practised the word which went well. Did some gardening too. A boy next door in the Pakistani family’s garden smiled at me. That was cool.

Then went out to the front to see what I could cut – the remaining hedge, that is, while Pigsy was out and I was feeling strong and calm! The Pakistani neighbours came out to cut their side of the hedge at the same time. So I went and mentioned the fact that the stems on top had grown so long and thick that they broke my shears. Hence I could not cut it all. It was a friendly exchange and healed a few wounds between us I think.

 

Dragon Insights: 30 – Li. Fire and light. The sun as their source. Your brightness can illuminate the four corners of the world and you have great successes. Right action (dharma).

3 June 2002

Pigsy Monster: what’s in his head and what can I do about him?

I watched the Brazil vs Turkey World Cup game this morning at 10am and tried to keep it as quiet as possible. Then, this evening, he came home and the Africans up the road were playing atrocious music on a car stereo loudly. Pigsy got an idea and put his radio on loud both to cover it up and annoy me. The Africans’ music only lasted for 15 minutes and he left his on for a long time. I wore earplugs.

Dragon Insights: 53 – Jian. Gradual development. Glide, advance, flow, penetrate and reach gradually, little-by-little. “A tree grows slow and strong on the mountainside. Like planting an enormous tree as a seedling – it’s going to take a long time to grow to full maturity. Don’t apply force or pressure. Careful, unhurried, constant work returns great profit in the end.”

Pigsy doesn’t trust anyone, especially at home.

“Don’t push things or be overconfident or use impulsive action. If you go too far, too fast, you ill unexpectedly land in a situation, space or place where it is hard enough for you just to survive let along thrive. I’m already there, no? It could mean that Pigsy needs to prove that he is right to distrust me, that I am the villain and should be kicked out, jailed, thrown in to the gutter so he can have the house for himself!

“Gradually conditions change. You will reach the summit of your endeavours. It is a high, lovely place. You must work very, very hard amid some jealousy and slander. But in the end your light is seen and none can deny it. Freed from all difficulties, your glory will shine.

You find yourself temporarily nesting in the wrong tree with some hostile and strange birds for company, like a wild goose perching on the tip of a branch; a tricky situation requiring dexterity and a delicate state of balance. Retreat inwardly if you cannot fly away outwardly. At least this is a safe place where you can hang on.”

Don’t confront or engage him then.

 

“After you have achieved your success, people will regard you as a shining example to motivate them onwards in their own endeavours.” Good, because it heralds eventual and gradual success.

Excerpts from Dragon Insights: A Simple Approach to the I Ching by Jillian Lawler, 2001