Monstaville Book III. Chapter 9

9

“When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate.”

- Carl Jung.

Concerning hate, someone, somewhere, sometime, said that older souls may dislike and even despise, but they never hate. Although the word might be used to describe what they feel, there is always a deeper feeling that is positive and which, however much it is suppressed, counters the transient feeling of bitterness or resentment.

“We’re not meant to repress any negative emotions because it causes imbalance. To conquer our emotions, we must embrace them, not fight them. We must acknowledge them and allow them to serve their purpose as we learn from them.

                The ancient Essene culture left teachings dating back about 6000 years. They taught that our relationships with one another, with the Universe and with situations and events are mirrors of the parts of our psyche that need to be cleansed...It is very important to understand that when you fear loss, fear death, fear war, fear terrorism or fear change, you are giving others the ability to control you based on those fears. When you fight against poverty or against racism, when you fight for relationships or for freedom, you are outwardly attempting to repress that which has been placed before you to conquer inwardly.

                These situations are mirrors of our fears. This is why it is important to love and only love. Love those who stand with you but especially those who stand against you. Do not look at your fears as a threat. Rather, understand that this material world is only a physical manifestation of either the love or fear in your consciousness. It is as plain as day. All you need to conquer in your life is in your face. If you want to understand what your true inner fears are, analyse your ambitions and your inhibitions.”

                - The Esoteric Agenda (Extract from the film crated by Created by Ben Stewart from www.talismanicidols.org, 2008).

PLAY: ‘Everyday Struggle’ by The Notorious B.I.G. (1994).

Concerning suicide, I have felt suicidal many times in my life but attempted it only once and did not see it through to the end (obviously!) because a good friend must have felt something, a prompt, and rang me (there were also other practical concerns). I do believe that negative thoughts, despair and depression attract dark energies (spirits) who may then intensify such emotions. How much of one’s depression is in actual response to circumstances? Similarly, when we react to something or someone in anger we may tap into reserves of unconscious anger from experiences in our past. It is therefore important to be conscious and look at these emotions, to sense and understand that other emotions may have been triggered and that they are therefore an inappropriate response to the situation at hand.

“We’ve got our soldiers fighting Gangsta niggaz. Them terrorists is Gangstas. How the fuck you gonna scare somebody that wanna die? Like, ‘I’ll kill your motherfucking ass!’ ‘Thank you very much!’ Huh. What the fuck?” – American Comedian Katt Williams.

It is plausible that Pigsy, as well as other problems, ‘turned up on my doorstep’ partly because I had felt depressed and suicidal off and on since I was a teenager both owing to suppressed pain within myself and subsequent struggles in life. The former had eased significantly but the latter had also increased significantly. Perhaps it was the universe saying, ‘Now is your chance if you wish’ - but without really taking my desire for death too seriously, knowing that deep down, I love life, love people, and have faith in myself to shine through the clouds of despair and pass the karmic initiation that is upon me in this lifetime. [1]

Caine (David Carradine): “Without fear, one sees more clearly.”

                - Kung Fu (Third Season, Episode 4, ‘This Valley of Terror,’ 1974).

Accept what is there but this doesn’t mean you have to be docile and do nothing to counter your circumstances or change the situation. Positive will can be applied: that is surely why we are individual souls. We are here to learn to express the power of God, of our true being, in contrast to the experience of darkness, fear, powerlessness, ignorance, destruction, dependency and suffering. We are here to awaken from a dream created by the subconscious in response to childhood (and past life) experiences...to awaken from darkness to light. We are here to express the power of the Creative Force individually, as unique points of consciousness, or degrees of Beingness. Hence, Buddha shining positive light towards the angry fellow. Hence, also, the higher expression of Will through what the Daoists call ‘Wu Wei,’ which amounts to non-action in an external sense but manifesting through positive intent in a relaxed state of divine oneness, without resistance. Since we are Being and all is an expression of Being, centring ourselves in Being enables us to draw the curtains of illusion to let in the light of reality and to live true to our higher nature on this planet. It is no easy feat to reprogram ourselves and demonstrate the power of the God Force since we are so attached to matter and it is hard to break the spell (and to cast the chunky shackles of karma aside).

Feeling is the key to returning to the state of collective oneness, flowing with the universal whole. Then all things are possible, achieving maximum effect through minimum effort. We each owe it to ourselves to find and express our higher purpose. To believe that happiness can be obtained by sinking down to animal aggression is great folly. By centring oneself in the purpose that the Higher Self needs to express, one’s consciousness rises up to the level of elevated thought, visualisation or affirmation, to effect positive outcomes for all concerned. It is then up to the universe as to whether or not that can be manifested, so it is wise not to be attached to results. You plant the seed and nurture it but also trust nature. The end result, the flower, might not be what you imagined but it is the cosmic response to your expression of divine power filtered through many layers of consciousness, many patterns of thought and behaviour stretching back many lifetimes. So, let go of the results and hope, or have faith, but you still need to accept circumstances if they do not change. Gratefulness is a great way to soften the ego and reunite the soul with the sea of universal consciousness. Not that I have found myself able to choose that path personally! Love is nothing more than the feeling we share of being the same Being, the Creator that loves everything It is and has to express. Yet, it is the most magical force in existence; the cure-all.

[Retrospective note:

“’These are life-moving type things,’ he says. ‘Some days I wake up and it wouldn’t take nothin’ for me to go, ‘POW!’ He points to an imaginary gun at his head. ‘But I wouldn’t do that because I don’t want no one to think that’s the way to go…If they keep doin’ me like that in the press, I’ma lose ‘cuz the jury gonna believe everything they been reading. If they give me a chance, I’m not just gonna walk to jail.’ He sighs. ‘My spirit would die and that’s all I got. I’d be another statistic.’ He turns upbeat. A smile creases his face. ‘I got faith in God. I don’t believe God brought me this far to crucify me like this. I believe he’s doin’ this just to make me stronger.’” – Tupac Shakur (‘This Thug’s Life’ by Kevin Powell, February 1994, VIBE magazine. Tupac Shakur. 1971-1996 by the Editors of VIBE, Plexus Publishing, London, U.K., 1997, p.31).

Nineties’ rappers Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smallz both sang about wanting to commit suicide. Their lives were that stressful. And then they suddenly ended when their lights were put out by the FBI anyway. Being a bright jewel in this world is no easy ride. These guys were right there in the heart of darkness, surrounded on all sides. The negativity made them feel suicidal, it seems, but it was also closing in on them from the outside as well, plotting to snuff them out and turn the apples sour. The Elite’s plans for the rap industry was that it would become rotten to the core. “I just wanted someone to kill me for me,” said Tupac. “You know what I mean?” He said he was suicidal all the time but couldn’t kill himself. “…rape and sodomy and guns…forcible kidnapping…charges. That’s why I wanted to die at that point. Because I was so tired. You know what I mean? But I lives and I said, ‘Well, you know, I can’t check out.’” In the song ‘So Many Tears’ (1993), he says:

I’m suicidal so don’t stand near me

My every move is a calculated step to bring me closer

To embrace an early death. Now there’s nothin’ left.]

Someone said (perhaps in a film), “If I commit suicide, I doubt if I can be condemned for ‘uncomprehending’ the incomprehensible.” We are on Earth for a purpose. Like flies, we keep finding ourselves stuck on the web of illusion, at the mercy of dark forces. This struggle is not in vain. We must wake up and realise that we are not flies buzzing around aimlessly. It is merely a dream (or nightmare) and the Self is dreaming in order to increase its consciousness of itself and its potential. A great deal of thought and planning goes into preparing us for our earthly lives. It is for this reason that suicide is not really an option, why it is a ‘sin,’ so to speak. There probably is a ‘penalty’ of some description for committing suicide (although not where it was planned prior to birth or was a natural rather than resistant withdrawal), but one which, I’m sure, is designed to help the soul to understand the importance of its growth in lesson more deeply so that one applies oneself more responsibly to the nightmare that life can be, intuiting that facing the lessons is of vital importance in the long-run. We rebels are the unruly children in the class and we do not see the teachers because they are invisible to us, but they are overseeing our growth on the Earth plane, handing out, supervising and marking our lessons carefully and precisely. For, we cannot be allowed to move on to the next class unless we can demonstrate that we have learned the lessons set for us. So, the consequences for what amounts to truancy, or sabotage, a refusal to attend the class and learn, appears to have dire consequences (although this may be largely self-inflicted as a result of the soul’s desire for growth). One may not be trusted, or deserving, of such an opportunity again for some ‘time.’ It could be like being sent to reform school where one must first learn manners and self-control and to adjust one’s behaviour and attitudes before one is ready to rejoin the mainstream education system and learn the more human lessons, as opposed to learning to rise above the purely animal level of existence. Hence, there is no transporter room (not until one attains multidimensional consciousness beyond the fourth dimension at least) or eject button!

“An Ice Cream vendor was found lying on the floor of his van, covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.” – Tommy Cooper.

From a higher perspective (than we’re used to), we appreciate this, but, when, through ignorance, the ego is allowed to protest about the pain endured on Earth, we fail to value the life experiences we have been granted or to respect the whole process of soul growth with all its many unseen threads and mechanisms. All of this is understandable. However, no individual is more important than the universe, the collective emanation of the Creator. It is for this reason that karma, the law of cause and effect, was established to discipline, strengthen and teach the individual soul, to balance and contain the freedom of will with which human beings are gifted. During a plant’s growth, it experiences many hardships, many storms and the like. It fights against the odds, its survival dependent on responding to the great power and source of life that is the Sun. So, what, human beings are expected to simply endure all the suffering that is our lot whilst having faith that it is leading us to glory and perfection at ‘sometime in the future’? Wisdom, at our low level of evolution, amounts to accepting our fate, demonstrating the patience, respect, fortitude and humility required of us as we grow in self-awareness through pain (mostly).

It is a simple fact that we in the West, with our emphasis on the individualistic ego, do not generally grasp this aspect of reality. There are rules in place to deter entities lost in the illusion of matter from spreading their disease to other planes of consciousness and having a detrimental effect on the cosmos. We need to realise, humbly, that our temporal earthy dimension of life is but one minuscule part of the collective universe and that we are on one of the lower rungs of the evolutionary ladder. But, protest we do, of course, and the more violently then deeper our ignorance. And, so, we can find ourselves stuck down a well of despair, unable to look out at the big picture, confined to the pain that has consumed our attention. And, then, life might not seem worthwhile and it can seem logical and sensible simply to end that life. I have been there many times. If you talk to a suicidal person from above the well, you cannot really expect to reach them and make them see ‘sense’ because you are standing in light and they are crouched in darkness. However, a subtle influence is conveyed. Some of that light that you are experiencing is received and does touch and lighten their soul eventually. 

Charles De Mar (Curtis Armstrong): Suicide is never the answer, little trooper.

-  Better Off Dead (directed by Savage Steve Holland, 1985).

I have been mostly isolated when facing such despair but then I have the knowledge that I would only have to return to Earth to go through it all again, delaying the lessons one needs to learn in order to ascend to a higher dimension in the world of spirit. Far better to get the pain and torment out of the way and move on. Those who are in touch with spirit guides are likely to understand such truths. If we throw away the opportunity to grow, then we throw away all the work and preparation that has gone into providing one with an earthy incarnation as well. We are not separate from the collective universe no matter what we might believe. Everything and everyone is bound together because, beyond these seemingly concrete physical forms we inhabit, lies the Matrix of collective consciousness into which we are plugged. And, beyond the Matrix is the inner light, the truth and reality, of the eternal Self to which we are to awaken when we are ready.

Osho was asked by one of his Sannyasin: “Beloved Osho, Most of Humanity Lives to Eat and Sleep, Work, Accumulate Power and Money, Or to Propagate Itself. Beloved Master, What Do You Live For?” Osho replied: “Milarepa, I will tell you a real historical fact: In Greece, there was a great philosopher, Xeno. He lived a long life - in those days it was really very long, because the average life in those days was not more than twenty-five years. Xeno lived ninety years. And he is a strange philosopher, unique in a sense, because his teaching is that life is meaningless; so meaningless that any man of intelligence would commit suicide, that is the only intelligent act you can do. So many of his disciples committed suicide, went on committing suicide. Ninety years long, thousands of disciples - and he was a very convincing man. What he was saying was so accurate, because ordinary life is certainly so meaningless - unless you know to change it into a divine phenomenon, it is meaningless. And he was a great logician; he argued and convinced people, and people committed suicide, young people committed suicide. When he was dying, somebody asked, ‘Xeno, one thing has always disturbed us. According to your philosophy, thousands of people have committed suicide. Why have you gone on living?’ He said, ‘It was just to teach people to commit suicide; otherwise who will do my job? I had to live.’ Milarepa, people are living absolutely meaningless lives. I also teach them a kind of suicide - not exactly the same as Xeno. I teach them a suicide in which they are reborn in a more luminous life, of a greater glory, of a divine ecstasy. I have to live because it would be absolutely unkind, knowing the path of transformation and not telling it to the people who need it.”

“Dear one, as we have mentioned before, the energy of suicide is a test for those who remain, not for the one who committed the act. Indeed, the Human Being has very strong survival instincts to keep him from doing this, but for those who do, there is no stigma of dishonour or punishment. They are not stuck, either. Most of the time this was a potential contract all along, and it prods those around them to make decisions that they would never have had to do otherwise.

                Remember, this is a test for all of you. When it's over, don't be shocked to return to this side of the veil and find that there is no punishment or reward…only a family who is appreciative of your journey, and of the energy it took to love the earth and the Universe so much, that you went through it.”

- Kryon (www.kryon.com/inspiritmag/archives/Q-A%20archives/2002-Q&A/Q&A-11-1.html, Updated on 1 November 2002).

“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” - Phil Donahue.

“Anyone desperate enough for suicide... should be desperate enough to go to creative extremes to solve problems: elope at midnight, stow away on the boat to New Zealand and start over, do what they always wanted to do but were afraid to try.” - Richard Bach.

“The real reason for not committing suicide is because you always know how swell life gets again after the hell is over.” - Ernest Hemingway.

“I have spent all my life resisting the desire to end it.” - Franz Kafka (Letters to Milena).

Retrospective inserts.

“I am happy on the outside, but inside something gnaws at me; some presentiment, anxiety, dreams - or sleeplessness, - melancholy, indifference - desire for life, and the next instant, desire for death: some kind of sweet peace, some kind of numbness, absent-mindedness; and sometimes definite memories worry me. My mind is sour, bitter, salt; some hideous jumble of feelings shakes me! I am stupider than ever.” - Frédéric Chopin (from a letter). 

“Learn to separate the individual from the difficulty you associate with him. A person who is being difficult is in some form of a state of fear and, whether aware of it or not, is requesting help. He is seeking someone able to see beyond the hostility and to respond accordingly. It is your choice whether you drift into a state of fear. And if you do, you must understand that your own reaction is leading the communication deeper in fear.” - Betty Perkins (Lion Taming. The courage to deal with difficult people including yourself, Tzedakah Publications, CA, U.S., 1995, p.42).

“When you struggle with a difficult person, you and the other person are stuck in fear. The fear shows itself as some kind of miscommunication or a struggle for power…When someone is irritable or hostile, you can entertain such questions as ‘what fear lies behind this anger?’ and perceive it as fear needing love, sometimes in the form of taking a stand.” - Betty Perkins (Lion Taming. The courage to deal with difficult people including yourself, Tzedakah Publications, CA, U.S., 1995, p.173-174).

Dan Millman (Scott Mechlowicz): "Those who are the hardest to love, need it the most."

– Way of thePeaceful Warrior (directed by Victor Salva, 2006).

“Those who are the hardest to love are the ones who teach us the most about ourselves. They reveal to us where our boundaries lie. Show us where our unconditional love falters, and becomes splintered into conditional love. Reveals our levels of judgement. Those who are the hardest to love, give us our greatest rewards. Your Question: Do they need our love the most.....? I struggle with an answer…May I just say that Love allows people to blossom and bloom.......Namaste.” – Jill E. (‘Are the hardest individuals to love the ones who need it the most?’

www.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100716160906AAfpJO2).

‘Compassion’ by St. Germain (channelled through Ashamarae McNamara. YouTube video posted by messagesfromwithin, 9 October 2008).

“One who is giving their power away is not asking for compassion. They’re asking for empathy...One who is asking for compassion is usually attacking you, physically, verbally. For, they’re saying in the only way they know how, ‘This part of me did not receive love or compassion. And when this part of me acted out it was chastised. And, I can see within you, you have compassion. You have this ability. I’m going to let out this beast. And it won’t be pretty. But, I know you can do it. You can do it. For, what is the use of compassion if you do not have something to be compassionate to? If something is happy-go-lucky, what is the point? If someone is smiling at the sky and the Sun, you don’t have to ask them if they feel good. It is obvious they do.

                Love yourself. Be compassionate. We’re not implying that this will be easy. Yet, we are implying that you will continue to come until you do. And, that is a creation by your own hand. Then, when someone is giving their power away, we would say the first question to ask is, ‘What is my need for power?’ To create or give it away. We know it’s a statement you don’t hope to hear. Yet, it is the truth. For, that is coming to you what you are calling forth-every time. Every time. No accidental moments. The moment you have the word, ‘You’re doing this to me,’ you are powerless. You are powerless.

                It does not imply you have to stay in any situation. Yet, ask yourself, ‘Have I loved this situation? Have I given it compassion? Or has it angered me?’ Wonderful. It has brought anger out of you. ‘Has it frustrated me? Oh, wonderful, you are frustrated. Now it has moved through the body.

                Love be the eternal key, beloveds. It will not change. Yet, love in this world must be practised. It is not an automatic response. For, you were not trained for that response. Had you lived within the Temple of Mu from birth to passing, it would have been trained to love and it would have been automatic. But, the training in this world is to train for survival, greed, need and condemnation. And, those ingredients create wonderful slaves.

                Yet, we are here assisting all of humanity out of slavery. And, what is the first ingredient to get out of slavery? We’ll give you a hint. We have been saying it all day. Yes, it is love. And love begins with who first? Yes. Self-love. How do you treat yourself? How do you treat your body? How is your environment? Does your environment say that this is love? ‘Come, look, I want to show the world.’ Your thoughts: would you like to announce all of your thoughts to the world? Oh no! Yet, as you practice - Abraham Hicks gave the most beautiful advice. Thirty seconds in one day. That’s it. If you can do more, wonderful. Yet, commit to thirty seconds of conscious thought, deliberate thought, chosen thought. And, within a month’s time, it will become more automatic to select your thought instead of being put there for you.”

As Lazaris implies, someone who inflicts suffering on another person probably wants them to feel more. They want a response, probably of compassion and unconditional love, but any emotional response, any savage connection may do since it satisfies their need to experience wholeness beyond their limited ego temporarily. They want to bypass your rational, thinking mind as well as your reason and conscious identity and tap into your being which is love. They want to bathe themselves in the fresh water of pure consciousness beyond your personality because they are too weak or scared to look inside themselves and enter the process of clearing the reflection. They don’t like what they see so they do not look in the mirror. They prefer to smash your mirror, to basically murder you or sacrifice you for the sake of their longing to feel wholeness even for a moment. It is irrelevant if all of this is unrealistic and the outcome is not what they want it to be because they still derive some of the energy of wholeness through the process while they believe, albeit unconsciously, in this illusion. It is probably the dark unconscious in one person seeking that which exists somewhere in the other person but it is an addiction to the negative power of chaos. And that has no energy of its own so one becomes a vampire feeding off others, always needing to drink, to hunt the helpless and prey upon the powerless. They want you to be as a newborn child again. They reject and want to destroy your adult personality which denies them the love, peace and happiness that they are denying themselves. They want to clear all your blockages and cut through your defences so that you are helpless and open up to share the sweet fruit of your soul, the love juice within you.

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” - Sonya Friedman.

If you were a ripened fruit, of course, you would not resist. You would willingly open up and share your natural sweetness with all and sundry whether they demanded it brutally or did not know or care if they needed your unconditional love and compassion, respect and acceptance, for all that they are inside and out, warts and all. Me, I am such a rebel by nature that if anyone imposes themselves on me as a misuse of power in order to take energy, love, attention or anything else from me (and others) I react from my core which is evidently rooted in past life experiences. It seems so intrinsic to my whole being to respond to people only if it is my choice, only if it is in alignment with my truth. No doubt, I should probably be open to everyone and this blockage, which also reinforces my independence and originality, separates me from others. It relates to my Aquarian Ascendant. I think that people who are likely to behave in this demanding way are likely to view me as aloof and superior, as not giving them the love, respect and admiration they desire or feel they deserve from others and have every right to expect it from everyone. They want to be important and they need confirmation through others because they lack true self-esteem.

My lesson here is detachment: to remain open, to feel, to actively love and to respond to their deeper need to love themselves more, to be love. Perhaps it wouldn’t do any harm to give some of what they want, even though their craving and demanding in the most annoying, grating way disgusts me. For me, that would be stepping above my own truth to the level of universal truth, centring myself in the truth of love as opposed to the love of truth. And I would only maintain my integrity if this perspective was experienced. Yet, it would take practice and the first step is to feel love more throughout the day and let love be my guide and teacher. Then, personally, I believe that as long as one feels love, the vibration affects others and one should simply be natural and spontaneous. Get the centre right and then everything takes care of itself. Easier said than done of course but, hey, we’re just hypothesising here! As I now also like to say, however, ‘Truth is winning and love will win!’

“Let us take a moment for a word about kindness: having some spiritual knowledge, can you be sure that you weigh your words carefully? Do you consider the feelings of your brethren when you speak and act, not only in the big things of life, but in everyday conversation? Kindness must be spontaneous, the lips must be controlled by kindness, and always the thought, ‘Will it hurt?’ should be foremost. We can be cruel without knowing; without meaning to be cruel. Jesus said that cruelty was a great sin. If we are cruel in little things, can we wonder at the great outside world being savage and cruel?” - White Eagle (The Light Bringer. The Ray of John and the Age of Intuition, channelled through Grace Cooke, The White Eagle Publishing Trust, Hants., U.K., 2001, p.114-115).

“Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.” - Rabbi Julins Gordo.

If it is not truthful and not helpful, don't say it.
If it is truthful and not helpful, don't say it.
If it is not truthful and helpful, don't say it
If it is both truthful and helpful, wait for the right time.
- Buddha.

Osho said he wanted to give something to his sannyasins on his birthday and was reminded of a saying of Buddha: “sabba danam dhamma danana jnati - the gift of truth excels all other gifts.” He added: “And my truth is love.” [See Appendix III: ‘A BirthdayMessage by Osho’]. Then, again, love and truth are ultimately one. For, when we have real self-love, we love the truth and follow our calling to be and express all that we can be as the following message indicates:

"What is important to understand, is that your ability to master the physical realms, to step fully into your roles as co-creators, depends solely on your activated love-quotient. Which essentially means that your ability to remain true to your inner calling, and to design the world that you have envisioned for yourselves is wholly contingent upon the condition of, the strength of, the connection of...your heart. Take not these words as indications of niceties, that is to say, love is not the application of those things generally regarded as ‘pleasant’…LOVE is an indication of, the reflection of, your internal connection to…TRUTH…the merging of the lower self with the higher self which becomes the internal and external representation of All That Is." - Seven Sisters (channelled through Lauren C. Gorgo, ‘LOVE takes the Lead: the return of feminine power,‘ 11 July 2011, www.consciousco-creationalcoaching.blogspot.com/2011/07/love-takes-lead-return-of-feminine.html).

I have never asked for love from anyone in any way I don’t think and I have not been very open to being loved which is something I need to address as well. It places me diametrically opposite to those who demand love. So, I guess this is probably the reason why I feel so extremely reviled by anyone who does anything for love and/or attention. Anyway, I do and I react. I definitely don’t give the love I usually would. It is an instinctive act of rebellion - from one Inner Child to another. I guess you could say that I can be fairly conservative when it comes to actually showing love, to responding fully or giving my full attention. I feel deeply and I am slow to warm up. It takes me a while to relax and trust, to open up. And, truthfully, people do not generally interest me unless I feel some affinity with them and that does not happen too often.

I mentioned this issue to a friend and she responded: ‘If you haven't allowed yourself to open and receive love, or ask for it in any way, then yes, I can see how this repressed bit of yourself that would love to be able to do so is going to think, 'That's not allowed' when it sees that happening in others: that's its own personal rule. (It may also think it sees it happening in others when it isn't - it will be very sensitive to it). It will go on judging/attacking it in others until you release your judgements on this (potential or past) behaviour in yourself...this is the rule of projection).’ Referring me to a chapter on forgiveness in The Way of Mastery (by Jeshua channelled through Jayem, Heartfelt Publishing, 1997, www.wayofmastery.com), she went on to suggest the need to ‘forgive something in yourself when you see it happening 'out there' - there being no real 'out there' as we are all one!’

My reply included this: ‘Well, not just 'that's not allowed' - in my experience, the way such people demand love and attention tends to be very annoying! So that is what I mean. I find this subject interesting: yes, clearly it is, like many things, a judgement of something happening. Equally, however, it is a righteous statement of truth that something is annoying and life would be easier without its interference. And on the crazy train as I call it nowadays from where I live into town there are countless people listening to personal stereos at varying volumes and talking on mobiles. Some are selfish and some civilised, some are discreet some are LOUD and trash the peace of mind of every passenger in the carriage...some know what they are doing and are doing it for a reason (they want love/attention) and some are oblivious to others' need for space and silence...some have good taste while the noisy ones often like violent rap tunes/lyrics. As for forgiving myself when someone is talking in their mobile right next to me on a crowded train...hmmm.’

My soul is hiding and it is distant. I have been guilty of not giving it enough attention, of not trusting my emotions, not reaching out to people, not acknowledging my need for people emotionally. It is very much like the enemy ego approaching my castle in a threatening manner (loud or aggressive) with the intention of breaking down my defences, subduing my will and bypassing my ego, in order to steal my treasure, rape and pillage my soul and take whatever love they can find or force out of me. It’s kind of like, ‘If you don’t give it to me willingly I’ll come and take it’ and perhaps most people are weak or fearful enough to simply yield. The bully settles for fear if love and respect are not available which they are not to a bully of course. I myself have been sensitive, weak and therefore fearful on the outside. Yet, I have also been confident, strong-willed and powerful on the inside, as well as very loving. So, of course, even if the bully succeeds in overpowering me I do not have an endless supply of unconditional love that says, ‘Sure, take what you want!’ I resent and resist and I will not surrender my will though that might be the very thing that limits my power since it keeps me firmly attached to my ego and constructs a dam that keeps my feelings from flowing fully. If I was continuously aware of myself as divine abundance, as love, peace, joy and happiness, then perhaps I would smile and know that what I have and what I am is more precious than my beliefs or principles even, or my comfort and quality of life. And, perhaps, like the Sun, I would simply shine all the time, to all equally, because it is my true nature to do so. I might be more loving towards myself first and foremost and extend that Light to the love within other people that they may love themselves too and know the love of their eternal Being. Naturally, for this to happen, there needs to be a distinct absence of clouds - emotional blockages - in the sky. Moreover, sensitivity must be combined with inner strength and that must be developed through life’s challenges I guess.

“Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look.” - Marcus Aurelius (Meditations).

“In order to be ‘light’ in the New Energy - you must have recognised and come to terms with both your own shadow energy and that of the human collective. And this recognition should be accompanied by a deep compassion and love. Owning your own shadow will allow you to understand why there is so much fear in the world, and also to understand how holding your own shadow in balance can help to heal and shift that fear. Every individual that opens their heart to compassion and moves beyond fear helps to heal the greater consciousness of humanity. And once you live beyond fear, you can live in the eternal present. And truly experience the power of the ‘Now’ moment. You will flow and change with the greater flows.” - Celia Fenn (‘Becoming Light(er): Your Crystal Body and the New Energies,’ www.starchildglobal.com/starchild/light.html).

It's all an illusion and deep down beyond it all is only the reality of eternal joy.

PLAY: ‘Just a Thought’ by Gnarls Barkley (the B-side of ‘Crazy,’ 2006) which says he’s “tried everything but suicide.” But, as the title suggests, it’s ‘just a thought;’ that is, it has ‘crossed his mind’ during times of depression but it’s not something he would actually go ahead and do. Cuz, maybe, that would be ‘crazy’ after all!

“When you allow yourself your humanness with gratitude and openness, the emotional charge (which is another word for judgement) falls away from things like fear, upset, discomfort, shame and anger. And so these things no longer hold power over you, and that is when the extreme polarities, i.e. highs and lows, ups and downs, begin to fall away.” - Elizabeth Anne Hill.

A cartoon in Punch by Banx depicts two lines of sheep, side-by-side, blindly following each other and falling over the edge of a cliff. They pass a tree whereupon another sheep has hung himself from a branch. One sheep says, ’I thought Norman had been looking a bit depressed lately.’ (Punch. All Creatures Great and Small, Edited by Helen Walasek, Prion, London, U.K., 2009, p.25). It’s funny because the irony is paralleled in human beings. The people who comment on those who ‘lose their way,’ or go off on a tangent from the masses, and who may end up committing suicide, are on a suicidal mission themselves. They just can’t see it because they’re going along with the crowd and from there everything feels comfortable and secure. It all seems to be going well because they’re remaining asleep. They judge their lives according to others and feel that providing they go along with the consensus they have nothing to fear and must be doing OK and have life sussed! They’re sleepwalking to their deaths, living lives with hardly any conscious thought and without questioning the status quo.

“We immortals do not like things to be taken seriously. We like joking. Seriousness, young man, is an accident of time. It consists of putting too high a value on time. In eternity, however, there is no time, you see. Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.” - Goethe in Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse (1927).

Foot note

1. Jennifer Hoffman has written a three-part article titled ‘Indigos and Suicide’ which is included on this web page: www.urielheals.com/Page.html

Love is VAST

By Saul

Channelled through John Smallman, 27 April 2015

All of God’s divine creation, all sentient beings, even those who appear to be utterly unaware of their inherent divine nature, are assisting humanity at this point in its spiritual awakening.  All are One.  There is no separation, there is only an illusion of separation, and therefore throughout creation all sentient life is involved and taking part in the grand awakening process.  You are not, and never have been alone or abandoned, you are just experiencing a dream that seems very real.  But of course, as you all know, dreams are unreal, and at the center of your beingness, where your true nature is always aflame in the brilliant Light of God’s Love for you, you do know this.  When you awaken from the dream into Reality all that has seemingly hurt you or caused you suffering will be gone without a trace, there will be nothing in the way of painful memories to disturb the infinite joy of being consciously in the Presence of God, our divine Source.

I cannot remind you often enough that all are One.  Within the illusion, which you built so cleverly, that does not seem to be the case.  Your physicists have realized that everything is connected, that everything affects everything else, but this fact does not appear to align with your normal day to day lives, and so it is disregarded.  It seems that you are separate individuals, and if you do something successfully to gain an advantage over someone else, you win and they lose.  Because this is how you experience your lives many do engage in deceit in small ways from time to time, believing that it serves their egoic personal agendas, and then apparently gaining their well-deserved rewards for that self-centered and competitive behavior.

In the very short term it does seem that those who deceive and manipulate others win.  However, life in the illusion is very short term, it is but a short dream from which you will awaken either at the momentof your human death into an awareness of the way you have lived your lives, and into an awareness that there is only Love, or at the rapidly approaching grand awakening into Love Itself.  The former situation, which you have all undergone countless times, can be quite shocking for those who have ignored Love as they bought into the apparent reality of the illusion and used their skills and abilities for personal gain.

In truth there is no such thing as personal gain – everyone gains, or no one gains – as your eons of conflict show you so very clearly.  And when realization of unloving lives lived egoically dawns, those unfortunate ones who chose those kinds of paths generally choose to return to the illusion as quickly as possible in order to make amends by living in rather more straitened circumstances than in their previous incarnations.  You call that karma, but in fact it is just a natural choice to undo unloving behavior and release the aspects of themselves that blocked out Love, and seemingly achieved the impossible by temporarily separating them from the Source.  Karma can be released without reincarnating, but most choose the path of reincarnation so that they can give love back by being in service to others.

All are on Earth to evolve spiritually, this has always been the case, and that is done by assisting in humanity’s awakening process.  However, many forget their purpose as the illusion envelops them and they undergo and deliver abuse in many forms.  As a result they harden their hearts in desperate attempts to survive and, with good fortune, prosper in this unloving world.  But the intent to prosper frequently leads people into deceit, betrayal, and conflict, leading to further karma.

Karma is really only a person’s own choice to make amends, a choice made on entering the spiritual or non-physical realms after bodily death, when the unloving thoughts, intents, words, and deeds of the life just past flow into their awareness as they remove their barriers to that awareness.  It can be a very painful and shocking realization.

On Earth at this moment many are experiencing very powerful emotional realizations, not specifically related to any particular past Earth life, arising into their conscious awareness and causing them intense suffering.  This is as a result of the enormous karmic release that so many have chosen to undergo in this lifetime to be ready for the grand awakening which is approaching very rapidly indeed.  You no longer have the opportunity for thousands of lifetimes in which to work it off gradually.  This is one of the reason that Earth’s population has increased so greatly in the last few decades, rather like an over-inflated balloon that is getting ready to burst.

Humanity’s awakening truly is imminent, and to awaken into Reality or, if you will, to ascend, all negative karma has to be dissolved.  In Reality only Love is present.  Love is VAST, and humanity’s negative karma is actually very small, it is part of the illusion, which is tiny in comparison to Heaven; like just a single grain of sand in an infinite ocean of extremely potent solvent.  Nevertheless, it has to be released, and there are many present on Earth at this time who have volunteered to take on and release the karma that others have incurred so thatall may awaken together in a timely fashion.

If you are experiencing great and very painful emotional upheavals you may well be one of the team of willing volunteers who incarnated purely to do this.  If you are one of these brave and loving souls, know that you are most highly honored for taking on this heavy duty so that all can awaken as divinely planned.

Free will is a God-given gift that will never be overridden, so if some choose not to awaken and instead remain immersed in the illusion, that choice will be honored.  Eventually those who make that choice will change their minds, but until they do their choice to remain unawakened will be allowed, and it will not be allowed to interfere with or prevent the grand awakening of everyone else.

If it is your intent to take part in this grand awakening, and there truly are very, very few who have already chosen or will yet choose not to partake, then rest assured, you will awaken, because it is your intent.  Do not be anxious or worried.  You are infinitely loved by God, and nothing that you can do will ever alter that fact.  It is God’s Will that you awaken, and because you intend to awaken then you will.  Any self-doubt or thoughts of unworthiness on your part can be safely dismissed because God does not judge or condemn, He only loves, and in so doing welcomes all into the loving embrace that is Reality, Heaven.  And that loving embrace is your final and utterly joy-filled goal, drawing you steadily onwards towards the Home you have never left.

With so very much love, Saul.

www.johnsmallman.wordpress.com/2015/04/27/love-is-vast

Monstaville Book III. Chapter 8

8

Prayer for Peace

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console;

To be understood as to understand;

To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

- St. Francis of Assisi.

St Francis with the wolf that was terrorising a village

The Shining Brother. Recording the spirit return of St. Francis of Assisi and its sequel Francis Speaks Again by Laurence Temple (Compiled by Greta Freund and edited by Paul Beard, Psychic Press, London, U.K., 1941/1970).

The Shining Brother is my favourite book of all time. Although I have lost much of the purity and innocence of my twenties, I have gained more strength and wisdom through my subsequent trials. I believe I bought this book from a Spiritualist Church when they added new stock to their library (a bookcase in the corner). The book is by Laurence Temple (an architect at the time) to whom countless messages were given by St. Francis through mediums during the 1930s and 40s (sometimes in trance sittings). St. Francis refers to himself by his Italian name, Francesco, and he says that Laurence was ‘Brother Leo’ when they were together in Assisi (and Laurence is a portion of his Higher Self, whose name is Lorenzo). He describes himself as Laurence’s spiritual Father. I have read that when a person surrenders to a great soul and becomes devoted to such a Master Soul he or she is kind of adopted like a child and their spiritual growth can be quickened under that being’s guidance. A deep and enduring spiritual bond is forged. St. Francis mentions that he was James in the days of Jerusalem and that it was with St. Patrick in Glastonbury in another incarnation prior to that one that he was reborn spiritually and placed his feet firmly on the spiritual path.

I’m not so sure that James was the actual blood brother of Jeshua ben Joseph (or ‘ben David’). I suspect that the reference relates to his own rebirth in the Christ energy (through which we become one with the Light and the Word) in that incarnation. In his book, James, the Brother of Jesus: the key to unlocking the Secrets of Early Christianity and the Dead Sea Scrolls, Robert Eisenman “propounds that James, not Peter, was the real successor to the movement we now call ‘Christianity.’ James, he says, was ‘a leader of Christianity of his day and the popular Jewish leader of his time, whose death triggered the uprising against Rome - a fact that creative rewriting of early Church documents has obscured.’” (The Watkins Review, Issue 11, Summer 2005, p.31). Hence, James’ subsequent incarnation in Italy to restore a level of simplicity, innocence and purity in the most humble and loving way possible so as not to provoke but create something of lasting value for those in need to draw upon. I do not think he set out to reform the Patriarchal Church (which was, and still is, beyond repair). Rather, he seems to have been determined to establish his own monastic dimension - the Brotherhood of Love that “grew out of the flowers and birds” (Shining Brother, p.149) - within it, to create a parallel division in which his own vision could be preserved. In this endeavour, he was undoubtedly successful, and thus, his great mission has continued ‘beyond the grave.’ It has moved beyond the Franciscan Order to embrace a wider group of souls as, says St. Francis, the Holy ones have gathered together to pour a ‘great flood of illumination’ upon the earth. (ibid. p.121). Indeed, the old Order “became just another order; good enough and sensible, but not that band of free and flaming Troubadours of God for which Francis had striven,” says Laurence. (ibid. p.155).

The great Indian Master Meher Baba devoted his life to serving the ‘masts,’ of ‘God-mad’ (those who had lived for the spiritual life but lost touch with physical reality). He travelled to Assisi in Italy to spend some time in the cave where St. Francis often devoted the days and nights to meditation and contemplation to be closer to God. In the scripts, Francesco refers to these experiences as “‘sharing the life of the angels.’” (ibid. p.151). Meher Baba and St. Francis are both revered by artists, incidentally.

In those days, I was searching and I was open to all sources of divine wisdom. I no longer see much value in Christianity but, back then, I studied the writings of Christian mystics as well as many other mystical teachings from around the world. I do understand, however, that there is a full range of understanding and expression in all religions. Although the Church, as a political tool, has done its utmost to vanquish Truth, a ‘Stairway to Heaven’ lingers on, luminous yet hidden from view, a golden staircase beyond the veil of ignorance that prevails in the outward form of orthodoxy. Ever the student, I did not have the heart, the strength, courage and will, or the faith and purpose, for spiritual leadership that was, it appears, hoped for me. ‘Many are called, but few are chosen.’

Each and every word uttered by ‘Francesco’ in these readings is charged with unparalleled love and exquisite beauty. It is ‘pure poetry’ and quenches the soul’s thirst if one has sufficient depth of feeling. I was certainly moved by them anyway, filled with love and solace and sometimes with tears in my eyes. I read a comprehensive book on the life and teachings of St. Francis - the Spiritual Master - during a five-day fast. Some friends were taking their barge to a new mooring out in the country and had to abandon the journey before arriving at their destination since they had to be back at work on the Monday. I found myself in the middle of nowhere, in the most beautiful location, alone with the book I had brought with me to read. I spent my time meditating, walking and reading. I had this light purple top at the time which, with its hood, may even have made me look like some kind of monk! During one of my walks along the canal I sang in French but had not learned or known any of the words I was singing! I felt light, elated and at peace for the most part. One day, I took the little rowing boat off one a little adventure and had not realised that rowing with the wind was going to make my journey back impossible! I was quite weak’ physically by then but had to slowly make my way all the way back to the barge by pulling on clumps of reeds at the water’s edge.

I felt compelled to commune with this bright Light that was and is St. Francis on several occasions. I should point out that I have since communed with the Hindu god Ganesha during meditation on many occasions. It is said that Lord Ganesha is a kind of saviour during the Kali Yuga Age in that everyone is welcome to draw on his energy as a source of strength to assist in the battles in one’s life and to ‘remove obstacles,’ particularly those which exist between us and our divine selves. In other words, this energy helps to counteract the conditions and effects of density during this age. I mentioned these intimate and empowering meditations to a Hindu once and he stared at me blankly before talking about the statues of the elephant god that can be found all around India. When he grew anxious at my exuberance, I realised that we were talking about something completely different. For him the emphasis was on the icons themselves. I visualise Ganesha’s portrait and that creates a bridge and attracts the deity. The energy is very powerful but I have never really known if it was direct communion with a divine entity or with the imprint of it. For, it is said that all thought and energy remains in the atmosphere and that, consequently, it is possible to tap into the vibration of a Master or ‘god’ who once lived on Earth at any time during the past. If I have the cat on my lap he will, after a gentle pause, jump down if I connect with St. Francis. This happened more immediately and dramatically when I was visited by the mighty ‘Suicide Angel.’ If I attempt to commune with the Ganesha divinity and the cat is on my lap, the energy will not come to me.

When I used to commune regularly with St. Francis, I did so with single-minded passion and intensity coupled with all the humility I could muster, as an offering to honour that which this great being had himself exhibited. My call - my love - was answered on most of these occasions and I felt myself bathed in such radiant love and tenderness that soothed me to my very core and carried me away in the most beautiful feelings I have ever experienced. This sublime divinity is perfectly described in the book: “Francesco’s radiance; lingering, all-pervading sweetness.” (p.267). Once, I just cried for the sheer beauty of that energy which released me from all my unconscious pain for a while. I simply remained there for as long as I could. I would also visualise little blue flowers (bluebells) and lay them at his feet in a gesture of love, for I knew that ‘little things’ were dear to him.

“People don’t cry only when they are said or hurt. They cry when something beautiful happens such as when they are letting go of their guard, their defences, or tapping into a place deep inside themselves.” – Unkown.

And, if anyone thinks this is all mad, I’ll shoot ‘em! Haha. Yes, well, I am not quite the sweet soul I once was. I did not know then that I am a comparatively powerful old soul and that I would regain my power and be forced to start all over again and learn to integrate it harmoniously and responsibly through the development of strength and wisdom. Certainly, I know that innocence is bliss and that is what I finally lost. I tried, once or twice, to connect with St. Francis during the early days in this flat but received no response and I knew it meant that I had changed and had lost the plot spiritually. I had entered a long, dark tunnel years before but the light was still shining visibly behind me. Now, I was right in the middle, being tested and strengthened without mercy. My inner demons were being summoned to the surface. Anger and grief bested me so many times during this endurance test. Self-control cannot be attained as long as such psychological impurities are left to lurk within oneself. They must be fought on the battlefield of conscious identity. Light and dark must clash swords if ever the hidden obstacles to soul growth are to be overcome. While writing this chapter, however, I did indeed share the saint Grace during meditation and assure you that I intend to attune to his vibration on occasion in future. Surely anyone can do this and there are many other ‘deities’ with whom one can connect in this way. I have a connection to the Egyptian Goddess Isis as well, but I have never felt her draw close and share her vibration with me when I have attuned myself to her. We now hear of the Ascended Masters (which appears to be a rebranding of the Great White Brotherhood to emphasise the opportunity now at hand for human beings collectively) who have returned to assist in the Earth/humanity’s Ascension process: Sananda (Jesus), Mother Mary, Mary Magdalen, Kuan Yin, Lord Kuthumi, Lord Melchezedek, Lord Maitreya and so forth [Retrospective note: And Beloved St. Germain whom I now ‘commune’ with every day – and especially since learning that he has the gift of being able to be in several places at the same time]. According to a transmission through Natalie Glasson (8 April 2009), we can also commune (merge) with the angels, including the new trinity of Ascension angels Archangel Chamuel, Zadkiel and Raziel who can be called upon to cleanse and heal us, to prepare us for integration with the angelic ascension light deep within our being and share it with those in need on the Earth. [Retrospective note: I now also commune regularly with Lord Metatron and Mother Sekhmet].

“It is not ‘wrong’ to be a doubting Thomas. In fact, it means that you do ask. The doubting Thomas of biblical record was a very enlightened soul, who did double ask and inquire. This is a good thing and something all should do...I would say to the one who is the doubting Thomas, ask for my energy to come around you. Ask for my wings to surround you, beloved, and you will then understand who and what I am. Namaste, Sananda Immanuel Esu Kumara, Planetary Prince of Urantia [Earth].” - (through Candace Frieze, 9 October 2006, www.abundanthope.net/mb1a/forum/showthread.php?t=1927).

I have not read The Shining Brother for some years but, since it has been such a comfort to me at certain times in the past, it is only fair that I pass some of this majestic beauty on to those who seek respite and understanding in these books of my own which began as a few private thoughts scribbled in a notebook. The following excerpts from the St. Francis scripts (unless stated otherwise) are, in fact, taken from another notebook, one of two that I filled with helpful quotations in 1991 in case I should ever find myself owning nothing but the contents of a single bag. I left them with my father when I traveller to India and, at the time, I wondered if I would become a permanent wanderer since this desire was strong in me at the time. I feel fortunate to have been given a taste of such a life. There is, indeed, for me, no greater wealth than such liberation. Perhaps, in a different age, that path might have been open to me.

p.107. “‘My son, the final struggle is a bitter one and pierceth to the bones and marrow; for all that a man is must be taken from him before he can put on the garment of the Holy ones and wait upon his Lord.’”

p.110-111.“‘Have faith and fear not, for short and bitter are the days of earth...The darkness is the gift of love as truly as the light.’”

p.111. “‘My son ye have suffered much, for thy way hath been hard for ye, and veils of darkness have enwrapped thy soul. Ye have lost much which was precious unto ye, and that which ye have gained is not yet apparent.’”

p.112-113. “‘Ye shall look back and understand that thine agony hath brought ye to a height that ye could attain in no other way, and thy tears shall be as sacred drops which sanctified and cleansed thine inward parts.

                ‘My son, we, thy Protectors and Teachers, see life not as dost thou, for to us naught is of value save the growth of the soul, the gradual deliverance from the illusions of earth. And to us it is a time of rejoicing when the test can at last be given and the beloved one raised a step nearer the abode of the Blessed.

                ‘Though we grieve with the suffering one, yet our vision embraceth that which is and that which is to be; and, in the gladness of the coming days, the dark night seemeth but a shadow through which we guide our well-beloved children. Therefore, my son, gaze ye ever on thy goal, and know that thy life on earth is given ye that ye may gather strength. For the Lord needeth those that are mighty men of valour, whose hearts quail not during the tumult, who have overcome the flesh and the desires thereof, and whose armour hath been forged and perfected by fire and by labour. For by endurance shall ye triumph, and the steadfast man shall climb to the stars.

                ‘Be assured that I am with ye and as thy feet crossed the deep river, my hand upheld ye. My love hath been thy shield and the Powers of Darkness shall not prevail, for ye are sealed unto the Lord, and thy work is before ye.’”

p.118. “‘My son, regret nothing in the past, all experiences have been necessary for thy growth; they are outgrown. But now that ye have come to the time of flowering see that ye bear thy blossoms in full and perfect beauty, letting no strain of earth pollute them or canker touch their heart, but offering the fragrance of thy being to the Pure Heavens to which ye aspire.’”

p.174. “Thy power dwelleth in thy faith, and as ye believe so shall it be unto ye. Therefore, my beloved son, look not on thy weakness, for thy Father knoweth thy nature and he will not expose ye to the cruel thorns nor to the jagged rocks until he hath covered ye with his vestments and shod thy feet with strength.

                ‘My son, my blessing is upon ye and ye shall share my vision and my joy: and thy Father will bear thy sorrows and comfort ye in thy distresses.’”

p.183. “‘For to the Pure of Heart will the Light come when darkness enshroudeth the outer world.

                ‘...for ye have received thy Baptism and have passed through the Valley of Humiliation thereby ascending to a closer kinship with thy Father and receiving the recognition of thine ageless companions.’”

p.275. “‘Only if man lose his faith in the unseen can he be defeated. It is for this purpose that we have apparelled ourselves in the lovely robes of earth, laying aside our gleaming garments and attuning our souls to the slow beats of your hearts, the dull measure of your minds, that we may instil some fragments of that heavenly love which is the food of the spirit and the wine of life.

                ‘The strength of the divine world shall be felt throbbing through the dun house of clay. Man shall no longer think of God as remote and inaccessible, but he shall be aware of the wonder and mystery of the presence of the Holy One, and he shall say in his joy:

                ‘’God is with us; God hath made His habitation with man and built His tabernacle upon earth!’‘”

p.286-287. “‘It has been necessary for you to experience the utter depths of misery and abasement that you may know the ecstasy of joy that balances your pain.

                ‘When you understand the laws of the Almighty, all anger, all disappointment, all evil, however great, are found to bring their compensating reaction, to have their place in the fashioning of the human soul.

                ‘So, my brother, read not the outward signs of woe, but look within and ask for wisdom to interpret the tribulations of the earth in terms of eternity. And your soul shall be filled with hope, for our God doth not stand without the world, but moulds the spirit of man to even finer issues as the soul responds more eagerly both to that which is evil and to that which is good.’” (From one of the four brothers, possibly Masseo).

“The energies of the old are frightened now. They know at some level that they are leaving. In this way, they are becoming ever more difficult to interact with, as fighting, fear, nastiness and an extreme effort to maintain some kind of control has the lower vibrating energies by the coattails.” – Karen Bishop (‘Time to Jump In...the Waiting is Over,’ 6 October 2008, www.whatsuponplanetearth.com/latest.htm).

“Come, faithful ones. Come those who have delayed! Do not be afraid to smell the sweet perfume of eternity. In this very moment are you made clean and pure, brought forth in the flowering beauty of God’s creation. Brush the sleep from your mind and drop the dust-encrusted yesteryear from the garment of your soul. Gleam with me awhile in the quiet moments of our inner unification. Are your present activities so important that you would not trade them for the everlasting peace that love brings?

                Forgiveness is offered you again, beloveds, ere the Creator’s call takes us one step closer to home. Do not linger in your earthly toys a moment longer but raise your consciousness in meditation to the infusing movement of love energy which insists firmly and eternally upon peace within, and peace without. Does not the scent of truth fill your being? Then breathe with God, with me and all who divinely love you.”

                - Jeshua (‘The Christ,’ channelled through Virginia Essene, New Teachings For An Awakening Humanity, Spiritual Education Endeavours Publishing Company, Santa Clara, CA, U.S., 1986, updated 1994, p.83-84).

Retrospective inserts.

In an email received in December 2009, a friend asked me what I do during meditation. I thought I would include my reply here as a kind of update: ‘Oh when I meditate I do some energy work on myself and the planet, and for people I know who need healing, and I tune into a higher being to merge with me, or 'overlight' me. I originally learned to do this years ago courtesy of St. Francis of Assisi (after reading his beautiful channelled book from the 1940s I wondered if I might be able to connect with him during meditation and lo and behold! there he was in all his beauty and splendour...and love like I'd never known)! Then I did this with Ganesha for a few years, until this year in fact, who is said to be the antidote to the Kali Yuga (I consider him my best friend because he's always there for me!). And also with an angel for a while. When I need or want to treat myself or greater spiritual power is required to uplift me or give me confidence I attune to Mother Sekhmet (who lived, and ruled, for thousands of years during the Golden Age in Egypt, at the same time as Atlantis): her energy is delightfully powerful but feminine. Communion with Ganesha and Sekhmet is a warrior’s energy feast! On most occasions this year I have meditated with St. Germain and he has helped me in a more tangible and personal way for which I am very grateful. And recently I have also had the honour of being visited by the Goddess a couple of times. In fact, the first time was so powerful it affected me for a whole week! Occasionally, I also tune into Metatron, and I do the Ascension Angels meditation once a month or something (it used to be every Sunday). But this doesn't appear to be readily accessible for me, yet anyway. Plus, of course, there are various meditations one finds here and there and I try some of these sometimes. Nothing too complex though. I was using an alchemical technique recommended by the Barefoot Doctor for a few years as well and I experimented with an Egyptian one described by Tom Kenyon briefly. After that, I practiced a meditation based on bringing a golden ball of light down into each chakra but then replaced that with St. Germain's suggestions, and others. So I have my own little 'medley' as-it-were! I also include certain decrees and affirmations as and when I feel like it.

“Experience is not, however, the sole way to expand consciousness. For each moment spent with God or one of his cosmic band serves to exalt and broaden individual consciousness, conveying illumination on the instant – in the twinkling of an eye!” - St. Germain (recorded by Mark L. Prophet and Elizabeth Clare Prophet, Saint Germain on Alchemy. Formulas for Self-transformation, Summit Publications, Inc., MT., U.S., 1985 and 1993, p.41-42).

"The same amount of time that it takes to walk into a coffee shop, order, receive, drink and walk out the door...take THAT amount of time each day, and your worries will fall. Give God a face, whatever you like, God cares not. Call it Goddess, call it God - does not matter. It is the intention. Go to God and say, ‘Listen here, I have heard that you’re here to help me, yet my life experience at certain times does not show that. Prove it to me. Show me. Breathe through me. Talk through me. Show me beautiful thoughts. Work through me. Express through me. For every time I went in front of what they call Masters, they looked quite happy!’” – St. Germain (channelled through Ashamarae McNamara, www.awakeningfromwithin.com).

I recommend communing with the Mother Goddess. I had planned to perform a ceremony on the evening of the Taurus Full Moon on 1 November 2009 but it was too late by the time I got round to it. Instead, I was privileged to be granted communion with Isis which I requested in response to her invitation in a channelled transmission from a couple of years earlier. It was 11.30 p.m. and I was very tired and yet Isis still managed to ‘merge’ with me (no one else, except Ganesha, seems willing or able to enter my aura so intimately so late in the day). Isis can do anything it appears. Ashamarae, who channels St. Germain, reports that she cooled an exceptionally hot room for them while they received a powerful solar activation from Her in Egypt. Consequently, I confided much from my heart because I felt her powerful presence and could also tangibly feel Her listening to me in a very motherly way that felt sweet and kind. Indeed, I have never felt so listened to in all my life. I was very touched by the experience. I also asked for Her miraculous intervention in my life [I believe it was principally She who was responsible for curing my attention deficiency]. Actually, I found that communion so powerful that it affected me for a whole week afterwards! It feels like a reunion.

"My children, I am your Universe Mother. I have been known throughout the ages by many names by the children of this world through their various religious traditions and practices. Yet through all of this I would be known as the great Unifier and Harmoniser of humanity. In me lies a power presence that you can come and experience to make you more loving and tolerant of your brothers and sisters who differ from you. The diversity of this world's cultures has been created to stimulate personal relationships and to expand your awareness into the vastness and variety of creation. You were not created to be all alike in all aspects.

Now that your planet's intra‑communications methods are weaving you closer in contact, allow yourselves to be woven closer together in your hearts. You all share the same basic endowments of humanity and the desires of your hearts are similar notwithstanding the ways you may express them through the various languages and cultures. You are designed to evolve into peaceful, tolerant, patient, compassionate, liberated sons and daughters of a high destiny. It is time to recognise your basic humanity that all may grow and truly be unified as one in the Spirit.

Come to me as your Mother Unifier and Harmoniser and allow me to weave you in that language of love that brings you closer to loving your brothers and sisters in ONENESS. Drink deeply of this word, my beloveds, and ask me to grow you in your ability to think, feel and act with the love that binds all things together in creation and beauty."

- Our Divine Mother (Centre for Christ Consciousness, 25 October 2009, www.ctrforchristcon.org).

“I use humour to mask the fact that I want to fall off the face of the earth.” – Allison (aged 16).

“A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. ‘Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.’ The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: ‘Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die.’ The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

‘Where are you?’ the man asked. ‘Who are you?’

‘I am your guardian angel,’ the voice answered.

‘Oh yeah?’ the man asked. ‘And where the hell were you when I got married?’”

– Unknown.

Aligning Judgement 1

Message from P'taah

Channelled through Jani King, April 2015

(first half of message)

'Self-portrait' by Fallen Angelus

Q: P'taah, you talked last month about Judgement. You said that what we judge outside is a reflection of what is occurring inside and that the universe will support the energy we are putting forth. Will we will learn that as a process?

P'taah: Indeed, although we prefer not to call it 'process' because that is much about what you do when you are processing your issues and what you term 'going to your stuff', mmm? We would say rather to be in allowance and to bless the judgement and then simply to be still and go to the feeling. Because underneath that negative judgement there will be a fear or that way of looking at who you are which creates the perception of your exterior reality.

Q: What if you can't seem to get in touch with what that fear is?

P'taah: You know, much of the time it is simply to ask the right questions of yourself. The easiest way is to say, "What does it feel like?" And then you say, "It feels like this." "Well, what does that look like?" to come to your bottom line. You understand? 

Q: Mmhmm.

P'taah: Well, of course you know, my beloved, that the bottom line issues are always exactly the same. And that is that you are simply not enough and that you do not live in a safe universe. So you can get involved with the story, but truly it is just a little feeling. 

But it is to pay attention, whether it is judgement or anything else in your life that is not representing the highest - your highest - ideal of who you are. To pay attention to 'how does it feel?' and to deal with that in the moment. But judgement, indeed, is a grand and wondrous tool for you!

Q: Can you expand a little bit on the embracement and how to do that?

P'taah: All right. To align the judgement really is simply to bless it. To give thanks for it as a tool. You do not have to get involved with a grand ritual. It is simply to say, "From the God-Goddess of my being I give thanks, indeed, for this wondrous opportunity." And then to recognize this tool termed judgement. And that includes the judgement of yourself, the judgement of a situation, the judgement of people out there with whom you have co-created an event! You see? And as soon as you are in that allowance by giving forth the thanks and blessings, the judgement is no longer. 

And you recall that we have talked to you about your pain and anguish. What is pain? Pain is resistance to the feeling created by a judgement. If you have no judgement about a situation, it does not create pain within your breast, mmm? You would be totally detached from it.

And then you look at your life. You see how you have in your life created and recreated and recreated and recreated situations which have brought forth pain and anguish. 

Look how you have run in judgement and have been running since you were tiny children about what you think is the meaning of life. 'Love equals pain,’ is one of those things you carry. That you are not enough, because if you were enough, you would not create these painful and anguishing situations. You would not be betrayed and abandoned or feel that you are not worthy of wealth and abundance. You would not know lack in any fashion. You see? 

And so all of these judgements are really created by these ideas and fears, which is the way you view yourself and your world. And thusly you create and recreate these experiences. 

www.ptaah.com