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“We shall find peace. We shall hear
angels. We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.”
- Anton
Chekhov.
It's dark in this hole.
I have had a dark week! I threw a wild tantrum one day. I spent a couple
of hours bulldozing the entire universe in my mind in the most bloody-minded
way conceivable, creating a violent hell (it did not last long, but it was
enough of a reminder that we mortals are stuck in this boarding school until we
can be trusted not to poison the cosmos with our foul virus). By choice. It is
my right to make mistakes as well as to strive towards perfection. Each has its
place. 'It's all part of the process.' My frustration with life has reached
fever pitch, again. Yet, I have not cut myself off completely from the heavens.
I have not severed the umbilical cord that is the golden thread of eternity
running through the centre of all consciousness. I have not snapped the spine
of my integrity. For, I know that is the Reality underlying all of the trials
in this often morbid nightmare called human life.
I know that waking up is a gradual process requiring constant adjustment
and renewed effort after each crash. Losing sight of the Light is no reason to
turn one's back on it entirely. Forget all the fancy little zen koans, life is
a process of becoming, or remembering, of forgetting oneself as a physical ego.
One must persevere in strengthening one's faith, connecting with the radiant
hub at the heart of existence and with one's true purpose, increasing one's
awareness. As the flame of potential slowly rises, one will no longer be
content to watch any old crap on TV! Or purchase all the crap that is thrown in
one's face. The Machine will have to think again. It will have to reflect and
serve our positive minds. And, society will not be a vacuum created by its
population.
“If you do
not design the future, someone or something else will design it for you.” -
Edward de Bono.
While inner darkness might eclipse the angelic Self, it also breaks down
the virus of self-delusion. It is rare for me to reach a place of such darkness
that nothing can reach me. I am, after all, older and wiser. I have been there
so many times. I know myself better. That is why I no longer get stuck there. I
used to see life in black-and-white terms. I used to have an all-or-nothing
approach. If there was darkness, there could not be Light. Consequently, I
would deny my inner Being and lock the door. We move from darkness to Light,
always. The black clouds of the deep unconscious gather, yet they cannot last
forever. This is a mistake we make. We accept and identify with what we are
experiencing at the time. This is foolish behaviour. Once you get used to
seeing the big picture, once it becomes a 'habit,' even if you fall down into a
snake pit, your mind will not remain poisoned. It may seem like a swamp at the
time, but it's just a dirty, wintry puddle.
“Wake all
of my demons, I’m ready to face them. Let them tear apart the bricks and rocks
that trap my thoughts in this nightmare called Anxiety.” - Cooper Bills.
It is
only by keeping an open, or flexible, mind that one can readjust and embrace
the Light again as soon as the clouds have passed. There must be regularly
nurtured stillness within for this openness to the whole to remain. Instead of
allowing oneself to be led away on a leash by that seething negativity, one
surrenders, instead, to the sunlight as it blazes forth once again. It is for
this reason that I am never quite sure how to counsel people during times of
crisis. For, all I want to say to them is 'meditate!' Unless people meditate
regularly, all I can do is recommend that they do. As I said, all or nothing
(wisdom accommodates anomalies providing the roots are firmly planted in the
core of Being)!
“But, by
making sure that you’re not dipping into those
ranges, you sort of make sure that you don’t dip into those ranges also. And
that’s why, as we visit with you, we’d like to get you to all lighten up and
not worry so much about dipping into those ranges. We would like you to let
contrast be your friend again. ‘I’ll just regroup. I’m more alive now than I
was and now what do I want?’ Because dipping into negative emotions is not a
detrimental thing. It’s dipping in and staying there that’s a negative thing.
But, the guidance system that’s within you, that’s all part of the process. How
could you ever come to any conclusion of preference if you did not have variety
that’s helped you decide or discern? So the thing that we are wanting to give
to you – you’ve heard it even more already but we’ll make it even more blunt –
is your connection to your source is not a fragile thing whatsoever. There is
no risk at all. And, so, something gives you a gut ache, so what? All it means
is you focused there longer than you meant to and it isn’t something you want.
And, as soon as you figure it out, just back off from it.
Imagine that this is sandpaper,
very fine, so it’s almost like velvet at first. And, you got rubbing on it
because somebody called your attention to it and then it sort of got to be a
habit. So, you rub quite a long time and, even though it’s a very fine
sandpaper, before you know it, your hand’s getting hot and, if you stay after,
your hand gets sore. And, if you really stay after, you would make a very sore
spot on your hand. You could literally rub all the skin from your hand. And
some would say, ‘Well, why would you do that?’ And, we say, ‘Yeah, why would
you do that?’ Well, you do it after habit and so, then, at whatever point along
the way that you begin to feel the slightest discomfort, the thing that we want
you to take away and remember often is, at any point you can make a decision to
just lift up off of that. It has no control at any point. You have the ability
to just lift up off of it. And, if you’ve rubbed your hand there for a little
while and you lift up off of it, you feel relief. You feel the exhilaration of
your new decision. And, your new decision is actually a stronger, better
decision than if this had not happened to begin with. We’re just doing a little
sales job here on helping you to realise that you can never get yourself in a
jam. You will never hurt as you believed you once hurt. You do not have the
capacity for that again. So, since there is no risk, then you might as well dip
in anywhere you feel, always knowing that you have the capacity to lift up off
of it any time that you want.”
– Abraham (channelled through Esther Hicks,
speaking to a man who says that his solar plexus has felt numb ever since his
father died during his childhood. From a workshop
in Boston, MA, U.S., www.abraham-hicks.com).
Perhaps the ultimate lesson is for me to learn balance within myself and in relation to others whatever they may send in my direction.
Master
Po (Keye Luke): I
will ask you to cross over that pool of acid on this beam
Young
Caine (Radames
Pera): Master, if a student should lose his balance and fall into the pool,
will he not be consumed by the acid.
Master
Po: It is essential
always to keep one’s balance, is it not?
Caine: Yes, Master.
Master
Po: I am certain
you will survive.
Caine: I will prepare myself Master.
Master
Po: That is wise
Grasshopper, that is wise.
-
Kung Fu (Season 1, Episode 12, ‘Superstition,’
1973 - it turns out to be nothing more than warm water with a picture of a
skeleton inside. Master Po laughs when the boy loses his footing and falls in.
“You believed it was acid,” says the old man. “Superstition is like a magnet;
it pulls you in the direction of your belief”).
Without awareness, emotions can pull
us into the abyss, which is what the water element represents in Chinese
philosophy.
“…throw
roses into the abyss and say: ‘here is my thanks to the monster who didn’t
succeed in swallowing me alive.’” - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (Posthumous Fragments).
TC: “Just be a good boy Benny and let
me be the clever one. The Top Cat does the jokes, remember?” - Top Cat (‘All that Jazz,’ cartoon from
the sixties).
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