Q&A. 10 April 2013
Question: Is there a trick to learning self-love? i used to think it was egotistical to love oneself, that we are suppose to love everyone else, but then realized(lol) that how can i truly love others, if i don't deeply love myself... but like, i had a rough childhood with a father who was bypolar, and who's mood swings would harm my mother and us kids... and then later in life, i read and understand that before, and up to the age of 8, all events get locked in the subconscious(or many of 'em) and we are primarily operating as humans based on those events before 8(roughly, as they say the ego or soul is fully or closer to developing by that time), so what's the trick to myself cathartic releasing childhood trauma, is there such a way to best do this? i'm guessing it would free up locked energy to help with self love.... i'm really struggling with why i can feel this deep buried anger energy Antraeus, i mean, on a gut level, i know i need to bring it up and heal it, just not sure what will really work...to WORK ON MYSELF, to do this... so someday as a father myself, i don't just keep passing this anger on...
Antraeus: They say that all that happens in our physical 'reality' is but 10% of what is really happening. Likewise, our experiences are never just about what is happening in this life. That's just the tip of the iceberg, the result of karma and the umpteenth attempt to release the same goddamn stuck energy. The fear and blocked emotion goes waay back, many lifetimes. I think anger as with all negative emotions results from fear somewhere within us. We humans tend to be impatient. Karma isn't though. lol. Meaning that we may be keen to clear everything up and get 'sorted' in a day but until the Lords of Karma have finished with us we have work to do on ourselves, balancing it and developing the necessary inner strength, wisdom and patience to turn within and attend to what is most important, which is to transcend the human condition, to experience humanness with all its frailty and discomfort, and yet also know the peace and joy that are expressed eternally by our True Self, which never actually leaves divine Reality. It cannot because that's what we are in truth.
Ascension is really just a process of self-healing, letting go of those deeply ingrained blockages. A traumatic childhood is fit for an old soul because it brings so much pain to the surface. You're right, and then we have decades to live with that 'stuff,' manage and hopefully release it. We cannot transform those ancient fears unless we are experiencing them. That is why we experience challenging situations that bring them right to the surface. New and Full Moons, eclipses, equinoxes etc tend to assist us in this process although Kryon has said that the energy of this whole year of 2013 is that of a Full Moon. So we are being challenged to face ourselves constantly now I guess. There is just so much divine energy pushing against our cells, calling them out to let go of darkness and delusion.
We have provided ourselves with an opportunity to finally face ourselves, allow the pain, surrender, breathe through it and, instead of reacting, just be, just shine our light and be in a place of simple but beautiful love. Eventually, we may find that we identify more with our I Am Presence and are hardly affected by anything in our outer lives. This is the message that Jesus the Christ was sharing with us: that it is possible to attain a degree of immunity to the illusory realm of physical matter as well as ascend back to Light beyond even the astral planes, knowing ourselves as co-creators, one with the Source.
We are wayshowers, doing the work of light workers which is to find more of the Light within us and lighten our load. Each tiny step we make affects the whole of humanity on some level, thereby providing a foot print for others to follow. So love yourself for going ahead of the majority! It ain't easy though. We are working through some dense, difficult and stubborn issues - me included! I found that I am angry with my higher self for getting me in this mess! Haha. And that probably goes way back too. As I said, it's never about the people and situations out there in our present lives. Those are only triggers and the people who may have abused us were doing us a favour. We asked them at a soul level to play that role for us so we could work through our knots and try to unravel them in order to wake up to eternal happiness!
HOW to do it? That's what I wanna fucking know! HAHA. I think you just have to endure whilst expanding your awareness or at least trying to remind yourself of what you know, like the need to be in a state of gratitude in order to remain relaxed and open and allow the shit to pass and flow down the drain. Just doing what you can to remain mindful in the here and now of the purpose and more positive aspects of our lives. Idk, I reckon the idea is that gradually open ourselves up over time so that the Light can shine through the space we have created within ourselves and illumine the remaining dark spots. You know, see things from a clear, elevated perspective, based on what you know beyond the world of mere appearances which are only symbolic of deeper states of consciousness.
It is said, btw, that we could easily have worked all this out without going through the actual experiences physically, or that we already have since there is no time and we are pure consciousness, but our higher selves enjoy experiencing challenges in the world of matter, coming up against the apparent concreteness of it, including all the pain and despair! It's all just experience in a world that's not real even though we are identified with it for now. We just have to try and listen to our hearts, feel the joy that is always there deep down no matter what and receive intuitive guidance. So part of the work is feeling in the heart, tapping into the infinite supply of Christ love, being gentle and patient with ourselves and our experiences, including the 'other people' out there who somehow represent parts of ourselves that we need to love. It is said that every experience we have is always a matter of learning to love, or remembering the Love I AM.
Yeah, it's about loving ourselves on a deep level and loving the Self in others which we can recognise once we know it in ourselves. Meditation each day is vital to spiritual growth in my opinion. Tools for grounding and centring ourselves are important. Drinking water helps as it flushes out negative energy, relaxing breathing fully to connect with the higher self, eating healthy vegetarian food...because also toxins and meat stimulate tension and potential anger. We are what we eat. Also, drinking alcohol closes the heart and shuts us off from our true selves. Coffee is another poison. Leading balanced lives. Preferably going to bed early (I don't), making use of the cosmic energies of morning time, meditating early, tapping into the flow of positive energy. These are all things we should be mindful of for the sake of our path to expanded spiritual awareness. They are also expressions of self-love.
Indigos are kind of too honest in a way. Anger can be an honest response to things although it may also trigger the anger that is deeply buried within us from many lifetimes ago. We have to start moving beyond that level, beyond reason even, or at least intellectual reasoning, and look at the big picture. We are universal beings and the personal level is nothing really and yet we give so much energy and attention to it and confine ourselves to such a limited view of life. Sai Baba said one cannot go through life without feeling some anger. It is inevitable because this world is insane! We just have to love ourselves enough to be cool, to allow a natural release of anger as opposed to suppressing it, and then move on rather than get stuck in prolonged tantrums or wallow in self-pity.
And there is a host of cool things we can do to give our inner child some breathing space to play and reveal its sweetness, and the inner peace and pure joy with which we were born. And a bit of weed now and then doesn't hurt either! Used wisely it is medicinal. We are shamans finding tools and ways to shift states of consciousness against the odds. As bizarre as this sounds, this is also a heroic mission to really experience some intense emotions in order to offset the millennia-old status quo and effect positive change in the collective consciousness of the human race.
So look at your anger and endeavour to understand it. Again, unless you meditate each day and receive the silent insights from the higher self, or at least touch divine intelligence to some degree, I cannot really see how this is possible. Consequently, whenever anyone asks me a question like this, I tend to ask if they meditate daily. If they don't then that's what I advise! And if they do then we can thin about all of this o a higher level which I have just done in my response to your question. Your anger may be the result of blaming others, not being able to forgive them, not just those in this life but those in others too. And ultimately it comes down to forgiving ourselves because there ARE no others, only representatives of states within us that lurk in the dark and need to come to our attention and yield to the power of conscious light. And as we forgive so does the Light shine without being interrupted and raise our level of consciousness accordingly. We are birthing ourselves, preparing to restore full consciousness, when all our limitations, our sense of lack or injustice, will simply vanish into thin air. We are all prodigal sons and daughters returning home to our blissful state of wholeness. Slowly slowly, by being mindful of such things each day of our lives, we are inching our way to that awakening.
I am personally angry that suffering exists at all but of course there is a Divine Plan of which my higher self is aware and believes in. what a mug! Haha. Just kiddng.
Hope this helps. Sorry I can't give you THE ANSWER!
Best of luck. Don't forget to ask for help and protection from your guides, the masters or angels, God or Goddess.
This is an initiation and we are finally graduating but it's HEAVY! The physical body is like a box in which we are lying with the lights out, battling with our inner demons, anything that materialises in our minds. By reacting and focussing on the outside world naturally we lose touch with the Spirit. No one tells us this. We were raised in a culture run by stupid bastards. So our lives must be dedicated to our awakening first and foremost. Otherwise, what's the point of being here? Just realising this is a rare gift. Then we can begin to live, and from a place of love, potentially.
I think also that we exist to Create and so if we are being creative and fulfilling our purpose as well as serving others and thinking less of ourselves then our internal problems cannot take root and overrun the garden like weeds. We must be willing to change. Reacting and thinking negatively may be closing us and keeping in the fear and anger whereas accepting and appreciating ourselves, where we are, what we're doing, provides us with some space for flowers to grow. I mean if we just let the weeds do as they wish and strangle all that is good within us then we are holding on to pain and failing to get out of our own way, out of the way of Love. We have become so accustomed to having low expectations and yielding to density which causes us to remain stuck in duality, to having no power, to sacrificing wellbeing and freedom, peace of mind and the natural flow of abundance that are our divine birthright. All we really need to do is allow all the good shit to flow again and yeah love ourselves enough to receive it. But, in the meantime, we have to experience what we don’t want or what is unhealthy or causing unhappiness within us until we have developed the strength, resolve and opportunity to give them up, to move on from our weaknesses. For, it is in contrast to this that we awaken to embrace the Light, the Love.
Painting the Roses Red by SB Gothic
The ego is pretty incapable of loving. It is that which is blocking the Light of Love. The ego asserts itself in order to keep things as they are, to control and resist the flow of wholeness and perfection. Loving the ego not AS the ego but as multidimensional beings who know we are temporarily trapped in a physical body must go some way towards detaching us from it. But yeah loving the Self is becoming the Self and loving the self is releasing its fears, torments and frustrations. Anything else is not love. Boasting, competing, projecting, grabbing, bullshitting: not Love. Just immature behaviour. And we remain deluded as ove as we do not know that all that matters or exists is Love because everything else is just illusory. Evidently, since we have lost sight of such truths for so many lifetimes, it is taking us time to grapple with them and remember and retain them again.
We are here to love all that is not love in order to bring it back and transform it into its true nature again which is pure Love. Thus, feeling in the heart and being mindful of our need to do this work, to heal everything and everyone in ourselves through the power of love, always remembering the sweetness of Love that is at our very core, can be of great assistance.
Also, I would ask the question why NOT love yourself? Is there reasoning behind it or is it purely irrational insanity? Be objective. What is the ultimate truth? Figure it out. Although I can tell you it is that you are Love and should therefore at least strive to remember, to shine, to view everything from that place. There is every reason to love yourself and as you do you find more facets of diamond Light in yourself. You would not have taken on such a huge challenge if you were not up to the job and that already makes you a hero, a spiritual warrior. Read what Carlos Castaneda has to say on the subject; Don Juan in Tales of Power for example. Then, once you have become acquainted with a feeling of love, joy and gratitude deep within perhaps you can nurture it as I myself endeavour to…because you know that this is wisdom, the answer to everything. Do the things you want to, be free, embrace your power to create and also exercise self-discipline, be gentle, compassionate and patient with yourself and others. You know, like it’s a practice. It is something we need to give our attention to each day. Otherwise we will remain stuck where we are. Be spiritually as proactive as possible. No one’s perfect. Yet…..
Blessings,
Antraeus
lost_love_by_king13galford
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