Monstaville Book I. Chapter 22

22

"Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more harmful to us than the injury that provokes it."

- Seneca.

12 June 2002.

You can’t run out of patience because the gods don’t lose patience with you!

Yeah, but I can’t be expected to live with a beast-monster when I’m trapped in a physical/material cage with it! Crazy.

Irish guy in Farringdon Bookshop last year - the time you go over the edge and want to kill people is the time you’ve got to get out and move away. That’s late enough as it is! When we suppress anger everything appears to be okay but the situation is quite tragic beneath the surface where anger is festering and growing. It may just explode abruptly unless we also develop sufficient strength and self-control to contain and channel it wisely.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” - Buddha.

“I can’t express anger. I grow a tumour instead.” - Woody Allen.

Angel Cards: the Courage to be Tender (gentle) and the Willingness to be Flexible (allow all variations, all aspects of your life and manage them Efficiently).

Otto Schultz (Howard Da Silva): We don’t usually permit outsiders here.

Caine (David Carradine): You are afraid?

Otto Schultz: For our souls. We lead very simple, God-fearing ways of life. Outsiders interfere. They corrupt us and lead us from the path of righteousness.

Caine: Where I was born, there is a creature called the chameleon.

Otto Schultz: Chameleon?

Caine: A small lizard. He has the great gift to change the colour of his skin that he may hide from predators. Yet, he never changes himself. He is always a chameleon.

Otto Schultz: You’re an unusual man.

                - Kung Fu (Season 2, Episode 10, ‘The Hoots,’ 1973).

15 June 2002.

Apply your will and self-discipline to not let Pigsy get to you. He’s using intimidation. Ignore it. Don’t think about it or let it prey on your mind. Know that you can take revenge and stop him any time. Be confident. Turn the other cheek. Don’t worry. Oh - and avoid him! He wants confrontation, you don’t. Play it on your level. Don’t accept or allow his physical level. Feel your inner peace - it must deepen. Relax deeply. Also, be content that Pigsy is going on to another karmic plane - he is still there. Don’t get dragged along to Hell! Rise above, rest on a heavenly cloud and smile. Be still and poised - like a cobra. Let the viper snap - in the end it will destroy itself. You don’t need to do anything. Rise above the wheel of karma. End all cycles of misery for yourself. Happiness is a state of mind. Think it and then be it.

"Be happy, it scares people." - Yousaf Abbasi.

Treat Pigsy like a mosquito: he’s a menace but you can’t catch him! You can’t get him and squash him (in a ‘just’ society)!  For a while, the mosie bites you and terrorises you and you react, trying to destroy it. In the end you give up. The mosquito wins! But, you no longer care. You relax and improve the quality of your life and peace of mind by focussing on other things that bring you joy. You pay no attention to the mosquito.

The hot water in the shower, used by Pigsy, is but a slight mosquito bite. The rest is all buzzing. When you meet face to face it is like the mosquito flying near to your face. You don’t need to try and brush it away, or even blink. Just relax and it will pass and no real harm will be done. It cannot harm you. It can only give you a temporary wound that is annoying, not harmful. Relax and flow like a river. Move on; don’t stop. Allow all to pass. Be patient and yielding. Don’t allow the flow to cease, creating stagnant water, blockages, etc. be flexible and allow the mosquito to live - it has a right to buss and try to sting you. You have a right to avoid it and ignore it. It wants your blood? Okay, but give your spirit too. It won’t like that because it will be reminded that it is just a nasty animal and has a lot of pain and suffering ahead when it starts to evolve.

Mercy, Compassion, Sympathy, Pity, Peace.

Om. Shanthi. Om.

The Doctor (Robert Picardo) to Seven of Nine (Jeri Ryan): “I understand the burden you carry, constantly being obligated to deal with those who fall short of excellence. I often find my own patience being tested by someone like Mr. Kovin. Of course, I generally respond with a devastating quip rather than a right hook. We must both accept the fact that very few life forms will meet our high standards. So, when you get irritated, just try to be tolerant and remember they can’t help being what they are.” - Star Trek: Voyager (Season 4, Episode 17, ‘Retrospect,’ 1998).

Don’t forget: something you did in a previous lifetime could partly be responsible for Pigsy’s own neurosis, his upbringing, childhood conditions, mentality - like, he may have been an automaton you helped to create in Atlantis. Who knows? Anything is possible.

 

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (1818).

Chapter 10. ‘Devil,’ I exclaimed, ‘do you dare approach me? and do not you fear the fierce vengeance of my arm wreaked on your miserable head? Begone, vile insect! or rather, stay, that I may trample you to dust! and, oh! that I could, with the extinction of your miserable existence, restore those victims whom you have so diabolically murdered!’

                ‘I expected this reception,’ said the daemon. ‘All men hate the wretched; how, then, must I be hated, who am miserable beyond all living things! Yet you, my creator, detest and spurn me, thy creature, to whom thou art bound by ties only dissoluble by the annihilation of one of us. You purpose to kill me. How dare you sport thus with life? Do your duty towards me, and I will do mine towards you and the rest of mankind. If you will comply with my conditions, I will leave them and you at peace; but if you refuse, I will glut the maw of death, until it be satiated with the blood of your remaining friends.’

                ‘Abhorred monster! fiend that thou art! the tortures of hell are too mild a vengeance for thy crimes. Wretched devil! you reproach me with your creation; come on, then, that I may extinguish the spark which I so negligently bestowed.’

                My rage was without bounds; I sprang on him, impelled by all the feelings which can arm one being against the existence of another.

                He easily eluded me, and said -

                ‘Be calm! I entreat you to hear me, before you give vent to your hatred on my devoted head. Have I not suffered enough that you seek to increase my misery? Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it. Remember, thou hast made me more powerful than thyself; my height is superior to thine; my joints more supple. But I will not be tempted to set myself in opposition to thee. I am thy creature, and I will be even mild and docile to my natural lord and king, if thou wilt also perform thy part, the which thou owest me. Oh, Frankenstein, be not equitable to every other, and trample upon me alone, to whom thy justice, and even thy clemency and affection, is most due. Remember that I am thy creature; I ought to be thy Adam; but I am rather the fallen angel, whom thou drivest from joy for no misdeed. Everywhere I see bliss, from which I alone am irrevocably excluded. I was benevolent and good - misery made me a fiend. Make me happy, and I shall again be virtuous.’

                ‘Begone! I will not hear you. There can be no community between you and me; we are enemies. Begone, or let us try our strength in a fight, in which one must fall.’

                ‘How can I move thee? Will no entreaties cause thee to turn a favourable eye upon thy creature, who implores thy goodness and compassion? Believe me, Frankenstein: I was benevolent; my soul glowed with love and humanity: but am I not alone, miserably alone? You, my creator, abhor me; what hope can I gather from your fellow-creatures, who owe me nothing? they spurn and hate me. The desert mountains and dreary glaciers are my refuge. I have wandered here many days; the caves of ice, which I only do not fear, are a dwelling to me, and the only one which man does not grudge. These bleak skies I had, for they are kinder to me than your fellow-beings. If the multitude of mankind knew of my existence, they would do as you do, and arm themselves for my destruction. Shall I not then hate them who abhor me? I will keep no terms with my enemies. I am miserable, and they shall share my wretchedness. Yet it is in your power to recompense me, and deliver them from an evil which it only remains for you to make so great that not only you and your family, but thousands of others, shall be swallowed up in the whirlwinds of its rage. Let your compassion be moved, and do not disdain me. Listen to my tale: when you have heard that, abandon or commiserate me, as you shall judge that I deserve. But hear me. The guilty are allowed, by human laws, bloody as they are, to speak in their own defence before they are condemned. Listen to me, Frankenstein. You accuse me of murder; and yet you would, with a satisfied conscience, destroy your own creature. Oh, praise the eternal justice of man! Yet I ask you not to spare me: listen to me; and then, if you can, and if you will, destroy the work of your; hands.’

                ‘Why do you call to my remembrance,’ I rejoined, ‘circumstances, of which I shudder to reflect, that I have been the miserable origin and author? Cursed be the day, abhorred devil, in which you first saw light! Cursed (although I curse myself) be the hands that formed you! You have made me wretched beyond expression. You have left me no power to consider whether I am just to you or not. Begone! relieve me from the sight of your detested form.’

                ‘Thus I relieve thee, my creator,’ he said, and placed his hated hands before my eyes, which I flung from me with violence; "thus I take from thee a sight which you abhor. Still thou canst listen to me, and grant me thy compassion. By the virtues that I once possessed, I demand this from you. Hear my tale; it is long and strange, and the temperature of this place is not fitting to your fine sensations; come to the hut upon the mountain. The sun is yet high in the heavens; before it descends to hide itself behind yon snowy precipices, and illuminate another world, you will have heard my story, and can decide. On you it rests whether I quit forever the neighbourhood of man, and lead a harmless life, or become the scourge of your fellow-creatures, and the author of your own speedy ruin.’

                As he said this, he led the way across the ice: I followed. My heart was full, I did not answer him; but, as I proceeded, I weighed the various arguments that he had used, and determined at least to listen to his tale. I was partly urged by curiosity, and compassion confirmed my resolution. I had hitherto supposed him to be the murderer of my brother, and I eagerly sought a confirmation or denial of this opinion. For the first time, also, I felt what the duties of a creator towards his creature were, and that I ought to render him happy before I complained of his wickedness. These motives urged me to comply with his demand. We crossed the ice, therefore, and ascended the opposite rock. The air was cold, and the rain again began to descend: we entered the hut, the fiend with an air of exultation, I with a heavy heart and depressed spirits. But I consented to listen; and, seating myself by the fire which my odious companion had lighted, he thus began his tale.”

Chapter 19. ‘But I am a blasted tree; the bolt has entered my soul; and I felt then that I should survive to exhibit what I shall soon cease to be - a miserable spectacle of wrecked humanity, pitiable to others and intolerable to myself.’

It is interesting, the allusion to Frankenstein’s monster. The Atlantean ‘scientists’ invented automatons, experimented with new bodily forms. But souls then had to inhabit them. Physical, earthbound souls incarnated into them and were trapped and deserted. Their makers were not there to help guide and support them so they became monsters, like babies in fierce, powerful bodies. Dangerous. Fucked up. Left to their own devices and prey to their own angst and confusion.

Just a different evolutionary generation from me.

That’s why, even though there is so much tension and enmity between you, and hatred on Pigsy’s part, taking all his anger out on you, or whoever is there and defenceless, even though he is dangerous and destructive, you must send him love.

His soul needs cleansing and healing. His heart needs opening. He needs help. He is disturbed and is a menace to society. This is an opportunity to help rectify such a defective component of human society.

"If we could learn to like ourselves, even a little, maybe our cruelties and angers might melt away." ‑ John Steinbeck.

“Someday you will find the place. It’s the place where love takes over hate.” - Hilary Duff.

Love - only. That is all that is required as a response. Heal with love. Don’t fight. Don’t perpetuate the misery. And, this will bring you more happiness.

When the monster was killing people, Frankenstein had to try and hunt him down and kill him. Don’t let it go that far - send love and light and healing before things go too far and there is a real battle to deal with.

Use your power on a psychic level. Don’t stop - you can’t afford to. Call on the Divine Light.

At the same time, you are enduring a ‘lifetime’ of severe karma! You, yourself, are afflicted with some primitive condition of retardation, preventing you from expressing your individual will, like an automaton, like a slave.

"Vanquish enemies at arms...

Gain mastery of the sciences

And varied arts...

You may do all this, but karma's force

Alone prevents what is not destined

And compels what is to be.”

- One of J. Robert Oppenheimer's favourite lines of the Gita Sanskrit texts.

“I dare do all that may become a man;

Who dares do more, is none.”

- William Shakespeare (Macbeth, Act I, Scene VII).

“You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other, and God damn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way.” - Elizabeth Taylor.

 Alphaville (directed by Jean Luc Goddard)

Retrospective insert.

“But when you find yourself engulfed in circumstances that cause you to offer a vibration that is far from that of bliss, then reaching for bliss is an impossible thing, for the Law of Attraction does not allow you to make that vibrational jump any more than you could have tuned your radio receiver to 101FM and heard a song that was being played on 630AM…

                You have the ability to direct your own thoughts; you have the option of observing things as they are, or of imagining them as you want them to be – and whichever option you choose, whether you are imagining or observing, is equally powerful. You have the option of remembering something that did not please you. You have the option of anticipating something you want or anticipating something you do not want. In every case, your thoughts produce a vibration within you that equals your point of attraction, and then circumstances and events line up to match the vibrations that you have offered.

                You have the ability to place your attention wherever you decide, so it is possible to distract yourself from something unwanted and put your attention upon something wanted. But when a vibration within you is one you have practised a great deal, the tendency is to continue to offer the vibration in the way you have been practising it – no matter how much you wish it to be different.

                It is not a difficult thing to change the pattern of your vibration, especially when you understand that you can do it a little bit at a time. Once you have an understanding of how vibrations work, how they affect your experience and, most important, what your emotions are telling you about your vibrations, now you can make steady, fast progress toward the achievement of anything that you desire."

- Abraham (Ask and It is Given. Learning to Manifest Your Desires by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA., U.S., 2004, p.67-68).

As I share in the Introduction to Book 3, “I told St. Germain during the Summer Solstice ‘Wholeness’ event [2009], ‘I’ve created a monster, haven’t I?’ I asked what I should do. ‘Kill it?’ I said. He replied, ‘No. Don’t kill it. Love it.’” I was, in fact, referring to the number of books I have started but not had time to complete which is now a heavy responsibility to carry on my shoulders. I was also, however, referring to the title of this project and relaying my feeling that the generally negative subject matter had given birth to a monster with which I now had to contend in order to move on and continue with my other books for which, I confess, I have genuine love and passion (I had originally anticipated finishing Monstaville within one year but the monster simply grew and grew!). 

On the one hand, it can be argued that, by investing so much thought into my ordeals, I am taking the long route home and prolonging my misery. On the other hand, this might be considered a slow but sure path to success, starting with the roots buried in dark soil and finally reaching fruition as truth ripens on the branches of greater awareness. Our creations then simply drop from bended boughs as though they had fallen out of the sky as if nothing had ever happened, no long, painful growth from seed to maturity, frustration to fulfilment. Perhaps it is necessary for me, for whatever reason, to dig down deep and acquaint myself with the unconscious roots of this tree in order to feel and release the pain from which my troubles ultimately derive. Staring the monster in the face like this until one of us breaks or engaging in a seemingly endless debate, it could be that I am still endeavouring to exorcise my demons or gradually exhausting my contemplation on this subject so that I will no longer be so tempted to enquire any further. Indeed, perhaps this is really an exercise in wearing down my ego mind and, by contrast, embracing a new life of freedom and purpose without being held back by the monster that was always dictating to me from the shadows, behind a locked door. Now, it is all out in the open, with rays of truth shining from many directions and nowhere for ignorance or naïveté to hide. The roots of suffering must eventually become the roots of wisdom which serve us without requiring our attention as innocence and maturity merge together. It is an adventure too, of course, as self-obsessed as it may appear to some!

Physical manifestation will eventually result from anything to which we give sufficient attention, says Abraham-Hicks. Indeed, all of our experiences result from giving our attention to something. Other’s attention to this manifestation helps to expand it until, eventually, it becomes a ‘truth’ which we have created whether we welcome it or not (and which others may then also attract by giving their attention to it). Attention is thus a form of invocation. Only by choosing which experiences are to represent truth for us can our lives reflect what we want.

We are living in a transition period that is leading us to full awakening from the dream of duality and separateness but most of us are not there yet! Naturally, it would be marvellous if we could all grasp Abraham’s ‘leading edge’ teachings, simply express our higher nature and ‘Hey Presto!’ our lives are magically transformed before our very eyes. The majority of people have not yet made their way to the mount where the sermon is being given. They are entrenched in the trials and tribulations of their lives and, while some may, indeed, get wind of higher truths than those by which they have habitually lived their lives, there is still some way before they will be able absorb them and be in a position to practice them. Although Abraham states that it matters not who we are or where we find ourselves: “Nothing has to change in your circumstances or in the circumstances that surround you for you to begin to deliberately allow your own connection to the Stream of Well-Being.” (Ask and It is Given. Learning to Manifest Your Desires by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA., U.S., 2004, p.37). The journey to full recovery, to living a ‘fulfilling and happy life,’ has to start somewhere. And there’s ‘no time like the present.’ Step-by-step, we develop faith and trust, get our heads around these concepts and deepen our understanding of higher ways of living. Gradually, it becomes more natural to let go of that which is no longer appropriate for us, or is not serving our highest good, and more proficient at loving our experiences, or giving our attention to what we do love as well as exercising our imagination to place ourselves vibrationally in the energy of that which we wish to attract into our lives, and really bathe (and breathe) in the feeling of receiving, tasting and enjoying that which we desire to manifest and deliberately create, expressing our God-given power as co-creators.

“Beloved ones, only as something is loved is it free to change into something else. I want you to take these words and write them on your wall in big letters because so often this is the way that the mind hooks you into its domain – by continuing to show you all the things you resist, which keeps them alive, of course…When Love touches the world, what it sees is the truth behind the illusion. It sees the precious hearts of God that are whirling like star fields or like petals of the cosmic lotus. All of it is free and moving, open, resplendent and glorious – right here, right where you stand in this Now Moment. I cannot encourage you enough to take every step that is necessary to keep yourself shifting to the heart and to learn how to maintain it. The heart will make your world holy. All the things that the mind sees as shadows will disappear in the Light of your consciousness and be transformed in this Love. I Am present here fully in your heart and I Am your limitless consciousness that will bring you your unlimited truth, rather than the dream of duality…When you make this shift, it can take a little effort but sometimes not much…to begin to feel how things sparkle and dance and how all life is part of this communion…The moment that you open to this flow, then your resonance, your vibration completely changes and brings you into harmony with the flow of Good, with the perfection that I Am with you. Your world begins to change and to manifest the expression of your perfection more and more effortlessly. You can see that it is a continuous escalation. One shift to the heart and Love is available. Love’s availability will melt the illusion of separation, limitation and boundaries. One moment in the heart’s field of grace and the ecstasy is once again present. The resonance of that joy within you begins to magnetise your good exponentially, which lets you shift more easily into a greater experience of Love – which magnetises more Love to you. Ever-more grand is the opening of your heart. More filled with ecstasy is your consciousness and your feelings. More and more you are the open heart of God loving the world and thus freeing it. And loving your own life, which allows it to change. Wanting it different keeps it in place. To the mind this seems counter-intuitive. But to the heart it makes perfect sense. Love, beloved ones, is alive. Its living presence makes everything molten, makes it filled with the movement of God and open to the glory of the cosmos. The resistance of the ego keeps you bound and locked into the illusion of separation where nothing is truly alive. Not as this is!“ - The Messages from God (channelled through Yael and Doug Powell, ‘Only Love Allows Things to Change. Transforming Resistance,’ 17 January 2011, www.circleoflight.net).

It is not too difficult to see how Frankenstein may be said to have turned his life into a monster through the projection of his unconscious by dwelling on problems or being at the mercy of fearful, negative thoughts born in childhood which need to be released and transmuted. Repressed emotions must eventually surface to be healed and released through love. They cannot remain locked away forever through fear, denial and resistance because they are illusions and sooner or later we will inevitably wake from our slumber just as all rivers of thought eventually lead back to the sea of consciousness, from separateness to the Oneness of Reality. We can hasten this process by actively shining light on those areas of ourselves that are steeped in darkness. We can share the love and confidence that we have found within us with those parts of ourselves which remain rooted in beliefs that enabled us to cope and survive under duress when we were defenceless children yet which continue to affect us to this day as adults.

“I love the saying: ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, while still expecting different results’ [attributed to Albert Einstein]. It's not error itself that defines insanity. It's denial. It's evasion. It's a wilful refusal to introspect and look at one's own actions objectively. It wouldn't be possible to do the same thing over and over again, while expecting different results, unless you were blocking your willingness to face facts. When this blocking becomes so automatic, so ingrained, so much a part of your personality, that it's ever-more difficult to break the cycle - that's surely insanity, of a kind. Technically speaking, in the most narrow sense,  insanity (or ‘mental illness’) involves the experience of outright delusions and hallucinations, as with a schizophrenic. However, the operative principle is the same with people who aren't that far along. We're all capable of some form, degree or version of insanity. The extent to which we are is the extent to which we pay a price. Because no matter how much you think you're escaping reality, you're not. The road to insanity is paved with multiple evasions that become habit. The road BACK is paved with clarity of thinking, a willingness to face facts, and optimism that reason can solve problems - and beats denial, any day of the week.” - Michael J. Hurd, Ph.D.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein (Gene Wilder): Love is the only thing that can save this poor creature, and I am going to convince him that he is loved even at the cost of my own life. No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for. Do you understand? Do not open this door.
Inga (Teri Garr): Yes, Doctor.
Igor (Marty Feldman): Nice working with ya.
[Dr. Frankenstein goes into the room with the Creature. The Creature wakes up]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. What's the matter with you people? I was joking! Don't you know a joke when you hear one? Ha ha ha ha. Jesus Christ, get me out of here! Open this goddamn door or I'll kick your rotten heads in! Mommy! [Frankenstein gives up, faces his fear and resorts to using his charm and wit to placate the Creature] Hello handsome! [The Creature looks to his left and right in confusion] You’re a good-looking fellow, do you know that? People laugh at you. People hate you. But why do they hate you? Because they are jealous! [The Creature growls a little] Look at that boyish face. Look at that sweet smile. You wanna talk about physical strength? Do you want to talk about sheer muscle? Do you want to talk about the Olympian ideal? You are a god! [The Creature looks upwards with newfound pride] And, listen to me: You are not evil. You are good! [The Creature breaks down in tears and Dr. Frankenstein gets down and holds him lovingly]. This is a nice boy. This is a good boy. This is a mother’s angel. And I want the world to know, once and for all and without any shame, that we love him! I’m going to teach you. I’m going to show you how to walk, how to speak, how to move, how to think. Together, you and I are going to make the greatest single contribution to science since the creation of fire.

Inga: Dr. Frankensteen. Are you alright?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: My name is Frankenstein!

- Young Frankenstein (directed by Mel Brooks, 1974).

"Laughter is an instant vacation!" - Milton Berle.