Monstaville I. Chapter 36

36

“If someone is rude to you, you give them power and give their behaviour credence if you react (that’s what they want).”

- Sophie Ellis Baxter (regarding what her mother always said).

22 December 2002.

In a way, evil behaviour is only immaturity. Being the opposite of ‘live’ it suggests that someone has not yet learned how to truly live, to turn towards the truth and start to live fully as a being of Light, a ray of divine sunshine, an expression of the One Source. Evil suggests selfish, demanding, disruptive, fearful, aggressive people who are weak and give way to their violent temper when they’re not getting their own way - or to try and get their own way. They’re brats. Destructive. They’re at the mercy of their own vices, paranoia, arrogance, greed, insecurities, jealousy, etc. Thus, they express only negative, or undeveloped qualities and attune to dark forces, satisfied by the power and feeling of security and importance that brings them.

But, when a child shouts and is destructive and violent to get its own way, you cannot simply give in to it. The child tests you until it knows your boundaries. It gets away with whatever it can. It pushes because it feels free to do so and wants all the power it can get, to have its own way all the time.

Pigsy wants to intimidate me so he feels secure, but he can’t get at me. He wants me to move out, but I won’t. Thus, he is learning that I am standing firm and not allowing him to get at me, even though he’d like to believe he is. If such people have weakness like that, surely my will expressed mentally can shift him away from here, relying on the universe, of course, rather than seeking to control him.

"Look with compassion
at the heavy drinkers. Know, that you too
have your weaknesses. If you want to live in peace
and clarity, then look at the poor and the handicapped
carrying the burden of their misery,
and see how fortunate you are!"
- Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam.

22-23 December 2002.

Riding a horse. They’re like children. They know if you’re an idiot or not - if you’re nervous, scared, awkward - they throw you off. Hugely powerful children. That’s the mentality you’ve got to deal with. The same goes for Pigsy! You have to show that you’re more confident and calm, secure and assured than he is. His confidence is external and he feels particularly confident when drunk (with his girlfriend). He’s competing; wants to exhibit his power; wants to feel more powerful than you, to ensure that he will get his own way and not be questioned for anything - probably due to a criminal mentality.

For him, the gauge of one’s power is through physical demonstration. But, you do not have to display power on his level. That’s his domain and you keep away from it since he has power there. Express your power from within. Use spiritual strength and magic and a positive will and mind. Basically, he is weak. He’s only powerful in a fleeting moment and that’s why he confronts people then, because it’s a special occasion for him to feel powerful enough to put others down. He relies on that to make you feel insecure and scared for the rest of the time and he makes loud, intimidating noises and so forth to try and remind you of it. He thinks you’re a coward for not standing up to him, and avoiding him instead, but he also thinks like that because it makes him feel powerful and because he wants to believe you’re a coward. That’s his little ‘proof.’ It satisfies his ego, believing that he is strong and you are weak.

“Silence is the ultimate weapon of power.” - General Charles De Gaulle.

Angel Card: Forgiveness. But the issue is Me having to live here under the threat, and I need him to move away before I can have peace of mind.

But, perhaps you shouldn’t worry about Pigsy at all. You try to avoid him as a practical manoeuvre rather than out of fear. If you meet him, then you meet him, but you pay little attention to the encounter. So what if he attacks you, threatens you? He probably won’t touch you. Try to be calm and centred. It’s a discipline. Even though you’re finding it difficult staying grounded for long. Perhaps living with a viper upstairs is okay, not a problem. You simply ignore him, and avoid him. And you make sure you are mentally stronger than him, and that you’re not afraid, and so he feels more vulnerable or, rather, worried or something. But, then, he’s likely to try and press to wind you up and attempt to make you more afraid.

"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy." - Leo Buscaglia.

Anyway, don’t allow any of it to work. Yes, but when there’s an ugly, smelly piece of shit on your doorstep you clean it up and get rid of it! How can you live like that, with the stench and always having to remember to step around it when you leave the house and return home? It’s disgusting! Maybe you can point a hose at it and wash it away - that is, direct pure, positive psychic energy at Pigsy to wash him away, but also ensuring there is force and pressure to make him move away, to stay away, to leave. Dog shit that is particularly stubborn has to be forced more intently, and usually to get rid of every trace, one must also scrape it off. Make him feel the pressure of not feeling comfortable here, not belonging here. Push him away so he gets used to being away from here - then finally views keeping the flat as a waste of money and his campaign to expel me a wasted effort. Give up Mr. Pig!

By the way, if you spray dirty water on the shit, you leave dirty water there. Better to use pure, clean water (positive psychic energy) that contains love rather than negative energy.

He psyches you out - like a beast sensing your smell. Either you’re master or not and, if not, he can assert power over you, unless you don’t allow it. Then, you’re either ‘friends’ or not.

Don’t fight fire with fire.

Don’t clean shit with shit.

Don’t react to negativity.

 "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” - Gandhi.

Angel Card: Flexibility. You need to be able to turn your mind to your interests, projects, tai chi, meditation, studies, books, work, Pigsy and a relationship if there is one.

 

Retrospective inserts.

Disciple Ying (Curtis Wong): Master Kan. Which - which one of us has won?

Master Kan (Philip Ahn): Won?

Caine (David Carradine): Must there not be one who is the victor?

Disciple Ying: And one the vanquished.

Master Kan: When you were young, did you not stand by the fountain and watch the bubbles rise?

Caine: They were very beautiful to see.

Master Kan: In a sense, a victory for the gossamer circles of liquid over the insubstantial air they imprison. When you tried to grab them, what became of them?

Disciple Ying:  They were gone.

Caine: They were empty, without substance.

Master Kan: So, too, can victory be.

Caine: And defeat?

Master Kan: Does not the true value lie in what one does with either?

                - Kung Fu (Season 2, Episode 14, ‘A Dream Within A Dream,’ 1974).

For some reason, the few friends with whom I have shared an interest in playing games and engaging in sports have been selfishly competitive. They are wonderful people whom I respect and admire and with whom I have an excellent rapport. Yet, I have never been able to appreciate how they can behave so monstrously during these activities, wanting to win at any cost. When I engage in games and sports, my intention is first to enjoy them, second to do my best and play will and third to win if this is the result of my efforts. I also prefer a relatively equal contest and find it more fulfilling if both players are expressing their potential. These men, however, appear to use such pastimes to indulge in a sense of power as though it is an opportunity to release their males egos into the wild and excuse to behave like savages! They become so single-minded and dominant, channelling their aggression to such an extreme that it seems there lurks a wild, carnivorous animal inside them that regards winning as a matter of life and death. They cannot bear to lose. They do not enjoy the game as much as I do and they do not perform at their best unless they feel secure as a result of being ahead in the score, which they follow religiously. Any encouragement and praise I might provide out of sincere appreciation goes to their heads and helps them to play better! And the more they are winning by, the more ruthless they become, as if even the goal of winning has been superseded by the new one of slaughtering the competition and reigning supreme in a despotic campaign of oppression.

All this they are proud of. It has nothing to do with playing well. That is not their concern. They simply want to win by any means necessary, including playing dirty if they can get away with it. They easily decide themselves that they are doing nothing wrong, that they are not cheating when they consistently talk or even sing each time it is my turn! They are brutal opportunists. If I am not playing well they feel good and if I am under the weather they fix their sights on thrashing me by as many points as possible. If they are feeling ill, even if they just have a cold, they will not play. They are nowhere in sight because it is not the opportunity to enjoy the game that stimulates them; it is winning alone. It is the nature of Will to decide and succeed, to attain goals, to manifest results and express a purpose. To identify with the will as a separate, physical ego is, I suppose, a stage of growth for those souls who have neglected this aspect of consciousness in previous lifetimes. Sports are a safe arena in which to develop this crude level of will that becomes the champion of subconscious insecurities. Instead of a ray of sunshine which emanates from the Higher Self and is accompanied by enjoyment and love, egocentric will resembles a sharp dart that is thrown in attack, that focuses on forcing the opposition down instead of raising themselves to be all they can be. So, anyway, once my own will was activated fully I often found myself applying it just as keenly, although not at the expense of my higher nature, purely because I had had enough of the abuse and gloating when they had not even deserved to win. These occasions have represented a healthy challenge for me even though I remain disgusted with such childish behaviour – which isn’t fabulously mature either, I know!

“I will not play tug o' war. I'd rather play hug o' war.

Where everyone hugs instead of tugs.

Where everyone giggles and rolls on the rug.

Where everyone kisses, and everyone grins,

and everyone cuddles, and everyone wins."

- Shel Silverstein (1932-1999).

It would seem that those men behave so aggressively in sports because their own fathers played to win even when they were young children, not giving them a chance to enjoy games because the onus was on winning. The adult smashed the child and the child grew up living in fear of losing at games because it must be quite a nasty experience when you are young and have no way of competing with your Dad. So games become hard and serious. Or, at least, the fathers were setting an aggressive or egocentric example. My father, by contrast, endeavoured to teach me how to play games by balancing merit and fairness, sometimes playing well to challenge me and sometimes pretending to play to the best of his ability, often giving me chances thus increasing my confidence. I was, therefore, brought up to enjoy games, not to take winning very seriously at all. The reward is always in playing well, in doing one’s best.

When fighting an enemy, it is necessary and wise to deceive and distract. The simple goal is to win. In all other - less extreme - situations things aren’t so black and white. A more civilised and compassionate attitude is required. There are no excuses for taking aggression out on others, actually. The ego needs to be better than others. The ego is nothing more than a spoilt brat and some of us have a harder time growing out of it. As far as I’m concerned, if you cheated by distracting me, you haven’t won. Simple. I don’t care if you’re 100 times better than me at the sport, or even if you played better. You is disqualifide! In addition, while fighting physically or with weapons is about winning, in a civil society you cannot go around fighting duels with people or whatever. There is no conclusion, no fight to the death. You must, therefore, learn the art of strategy in psychological and social terms in order to cope, contain, evade and deter, etc.

They who gloat do so because it is a hollow victory for one who cares only about winning. Such a person attempts to find some feeling of glory and superiority to assure themselves it was worthwhile.

Eckhart Tolle talking to Oprah Winfrey.

A man participating in an archery competition was trying very hard to win but couldn’t: “Somebody asked the Zen Master, ‘What’s he doing wrong?’ And the Zen Master said, ‘His need to win drains him of power. And so his need to win...he wants to have some future moment where he is going to be fulfilled. So his attention is not totally in the now.” Tolle explains that all power resides in the now. Without being in the now, it “cannot flow into what you’re doing...to have mastery in any endeavour, whatever it is, you need to be total in what you do...and then when they enter they call it the ‘zone.’ (Oprah said she had read about Tiger Woods that day and “that’s what he knows - what to do - focus so there’s just him and the ball”).

”Non-violence is hard work. It is willingness to sacrifice. It is the patience to win.” - Cesar Chavez.

Bears prefer to be alone. Brown bears which depend on the river for fish at certain times of the year have to undergo much stress being with other bears - catching fish in the river. Not easy for them.

“Do not forget that you are playing a beautiful game of pretending to be a human and play well together.”- The Group (channelled by Steve Rother, ‘Secret of the Expanding Universe,’ 16 August 2010, www.lightworker.com).

“The ego is not a bad energy essentially it is like a child, it doesn't know any better; it has no one to guide it and therefore enjoys ruling your life by reminding you constantly of your failings and mistakes. Every time you think a negative thought about yourself or another that is your ego asserting its power, playing with you to see what it can manifest. If we imagine a child who has no parents and has fallen into a group of youths who enjoy making mischief then we begin to understand the ego. Children are pure and can be influenced easily. Your ego is the pure energy of the Creator but you have allowed it to adopt negative habits, to play games with your life and to sabotage your truth. If you noticed your child acting in this way you would make efforts to alter their negative habits and teach them what is good and true, but you are perfectly happy to allow your ego to have all the fun at your expense without even a word of complaint or objection. This is something to contemplate, it requires your understanding.

There is a need to love your ego unconditionally, as if it were a child. You are not loving it for the chaos it has caused but for the truth that it is when aligned and guided. It is important not to scold your ego or to hold resentment toward it but to forgive it for its controlling qualities knowing that changes can be made with ease which would bring happiness to your life and to your ego. Your ego thinks it is contented by the power it has but really it is a lost child looking for love, attention and approval. We can see that the ego is not content as it keeps creating fear, unable to receive what it desires.”

- Lady Quan Yin (channelled through Natalie Glasson, ‘Relaxing the Ego,’ 6 December 2010, www.omna.org).             

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” - August Wilson (www.quotelady.com/subjects/strength.html).

“The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.” – Virginia Woolf.