For Appendix II (President Obama) click here
Appendix III
"We, as humans, have two duties
with regard to Universal Love. The first is to love ourselves so that we can
love others. The other is to cultivate tolerance, for although it may not be
possible to love everyone. It is imperative to hate no one.” – Rosicrucian
saying.
Excerpt from The Art of Happiness. A Handbook for Living by His Holiness The
Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler (Riverhead
Books, New York, U.S., 1998, p.255-259).
Because of
their vast importance in overcoming anger and hatred, the Dalai Lama spoke in
some detail on the meaning and value of patience and tolerance.
‘In our day-to-day life
experiences, tolerance and patience have great benefits. For instance,
developing them will allow us to sustain and maintain our presence of mind. So
if an individual possesses this capacity of tolerance and patience, then, even
in spite of living in a very tense environment, which is very frantic and
stressful, so long as the person has tolerance and patience, the person’s
calmness and peace of mind will not be disturbed.
‘Another benefit of responding
to difficult situations with patience rather than giving into anger is that you
protect yourself from potential undesirable consequences that might come about
if you reacted with anger. If you respond to situations with anger and hatred,
not only does it not protect you from the injury or harm that has already been
done to you – the inquiry and harm has already taken place – but on top of
that, you create an additional cause for your own suffering in the future.
However, if you respond to an inquiry with patience and tolerance, then
although you may face temporary discomfort and hurt, you will still avoid the
potentially dangerous long-term consequences. By sacrificing small things, by putting
up with small problems or hardships, you will be able to forgo experiences or
sufferings that can be much more enormous in the future…
‘To the Western mind,’ I
observed, ‘patience and tolerance are certainly considered virtues, but when
you are directly beset by others, when someone is actively harming you,
responding with ‘patience and tolerance’ seems to have a flavour of weakness,
of passivity.’
Shaking
his head in disagreement, the Dalai Lama said, ‘Since patience or tolerance
comes from an ability to remain firm and steadfast and not be overwhelmed by
the adverse situations or conditions that one faces, one should not see
tolerance or patience as a sign of weakness, or giving in, but rather as a sign
of strength, coming from a deep ability to remain firm. Responding to a trying
situation with patience and tolerance rather than reacting with anger and
hatred involved active restraint, which comes from a strong, self-disciplined
mind.
Of course, in discussing the
concept of patience, as in most other things, there can be positive and
negative kinds of patience. Impatience isn’t always bad. For instance, it can
help you take action to get things done. Even in your daily chores, like
cleaning your room, if you have too much patience, you might move too slowly
and get little done. Or, impatience to gain world peace – that certainly can be
positive. But in situations that are difficult and challenging, patience helps
maintain your willpower and can sustain you.’
Becoming increasingly animated
as he moved more deeply into his investigation of the meaning of patience, the
Dalai Lama added, ‘I think that there is a very close connection between
humility and patience. Humility involves having the capacity to take a more
confrontational stance, having the capacity to retaliate if you wish, yet
deliberately deciding not to do so. This is what I would call genuine humility.
I think that true tolerance or patience has a component or element of
self-discipline and restraint – the realisation that you could have acted
otherwise, you could have adopted a more aggressive approach, but decided not
to do so. On the other hand, being forced to adopt a certain passive response
out of a feeling of helplessness or incapacitation – that I wouldn’t call
genuine humility. That may be a kind of meekness, but it isn’t genuine
tolerance.
‘Now when we talk about how we
should develop tolerance towards those who harm us, we should not misunderstand
this to mean that we should just meekly accept whatever is done against us.’
The Dalai Lama paused, then laughed. ‘Rather, if necessary, the best, the
wisest course, might be to simply run away – run miles away!’
‘You can’t always avoid being
harmed by running away…’
‘Yes, that’s true,’ he replied.
‘Sometimes, you may encounter situations that require strong countermeasures. I
believe, however, that you can take a strong stand and even take strong
countermeasures out of a feeling of compassion, or a sense of concern for the
other, rather than out of anger. One of the reasons why there is a need to
adopt a very strong countermeasure against someone is that if you let it pass –
whatever the harm or the crime that is being perpetrated against you – then
there is a danger of that person’s habituating in a very negative way, which,
in reality, will cause that individual’s own downfall and is very destructive
in the long run for the individual himself or herself. Therefore a strong
countermeasure is necessary, but with this thought in mind, you can do it out
of compassion and concern for that individual. For example, so far as our own
dealings with China are concerned, even if there is a likelihood of some
feeling of hatred arising, we deliberately check ourselves and try to reduce
that, we try to consciously develop a feeling of compassion towards the
Chinese. And I think that countermeasures can ultimately be more effective
without feelings of anger and hatred.
‘Now, we’ve explored methods of
developing patience and tolerance and letting go of anger and hatred, methods
such as using reasoning to analyse the situation, adopting a wider perspective
and looking at other angles of a situation. And end result, or a product of
patience and tolerance, is forgiveness. When you are truly patient and
tolerant, then forgiveness comes naturally.
‘Although you may have
experienced many negative events in the past, with the development of patience
and tolerance it is possible to let go of your sense of anger and resentment.
If you analyse the situation, you’ll realise that the past is past, so there is
not use continuing to feel anger and hatred, which do not change the situation
but just cause a disturbance within your mind and cause your continued
unhappiness. Of course, you may still remember the events. Forgetting and
forgiving are two different things. There’s nothing wrong with simply
remembering those negative events; if you have a sharp mind, you’ll always
remember,’ he laughed. ‘I think the Buddha remembered everything. But with the
development of patience and tolerance, it’s possible to let go of the negative
feelings associated with the events.’
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