Monstaville Book II. Chapter 7

7

“Humans fear what they don’t understand and they hate what they fear.”

(Wes Craven’s documentary, Vampire in Brooklyn, 1995).

 

People may wonder if I would avenge myself. The answer is ‘no, never.  I leave that to God.’ In other words, ‘justice’ is a karmic process and a human being can never take responsibility for another’s lessons. They will come in good time, even if the person must wait several lifetimes to grow in sufficient strength to take on the heavier stuff.

Bullying:

Low self-esteem results in a fight and competition to prove that you are better than others.

‘I’m going to take my anger out on you’ (because I can, because you’re a victim and won’t do anything about it).

‘You kiss your mother with that mouth?’ (The ideal thing to say to Mr. Pigsy-Misses-Mummy – if ever you fancy getting beaten up!).

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That's the message he is sending.” - Thich Nhat Hanh.

Michael Carlin (Al Pacino): “Never hate your enemy; it affects your judgement.”

                - The Godfather: Part III (directed by Francis Ford Coppola, 1990).

The tiger gets very possessive and aggressive over its catch - its food. It growls to warn you off by instinct, regardless of whether you’re a threat or not.

Animals: the male may not desire females in the absence of competition. Too complacent. But when competition exists, the male attacks and sends it off, then mates with the female. Psycho Pig!

‘Love Your Enemies’ by William S. Burroughs.

Love your enemies.

It isn’t easy to love an enemy. This goes against your most basic survival instinct, but it can be done and turned to an advantage.

Let the love squirt out of you like a fire hose of molasses. Give him the kiss of life. Stick your tongue down his throat and taste what he has been eating and bless his digestion. Ooze down into his intestines and help him along with his food.

Let him know you revere his rectum as part of an ineffable hose. Make him understand that you stand and lick it off his genitals as part of the Master Plan.

Life in all its rich variety, do not falter. Let your love enter into him and penetrate him with a divine lubricant. Makes KY and Lanolin feel like sandpaper. It’s the most muscologinous, the slimiest, ooziest lubricant that ever was or shall be.

Amen.

The Little Book of Confidence by Susan Jeffers (Rider, London, U.K., 1999).

p.139. Remember the bright side. Train yourself to stop complaining and look for the blessings and beauty that surrounds you every moment of every day, despite what is happening in any particular situation in your life.

p.140. Affirm the abundance. Whenever you feel scarcity and fear - about money, resources, beauty, love or anything else - repeat this affirmation: ‘My life is rich and full. I am focussing on all the beauty within and around me.’

‘Thirty spokes hath the wheel’ but the hub is all-important [Daodejing]. If you project your will (in tune with your Higher Self) all else will fall into place. If you focus on the different areas of life, you will get lost in them. Drive your car at the wheel and sail your ship at the helm, otherwise the ride will be very rocky and dangerous. Be centred.

Everything is clear and simple. Stay centred in positive statements about each area of your life.

[First on the list] Pigsy: No problem - he is moving out. I’m dealing with him.

Pisgy: You’re a bully. You pick on someone you know can’t fight back and pretend they are aggressive. You make up stories to give yourself an excuse to bully them and justify yourself. You want to feel big and strong because you have an inferiority complex and you do it through perpetual lies and physical intimidation. Drinking helps relax you and make you feel good and that everything is alright, that you’re powerful so you never work on yourself to make any changes and grow. The toxins in your body from the alcohol add further tension and frustration, increasing your paranoia and making you feel angry. You have a lot of anger inside and alcohol releases it. You take it out on others and want to see them behaving angrily and aggressively to justify your fears and insecurities. So you can pretend they are the aggressors - or, ‘it takes two to tango’ - and your own violent behaviour is a justified response to attack. And, if they don’t react and get angry and aggressive with you, you make it all up anyway. It’s in your head and you then try to make them believe it.

Every time Pigsy comes here, it ruins the day, puts me on edge and disturbs my peace of mind. It’s unsettling and unhealthy.

Bullying vulnerable people who can’t fight back.

Stare people down. Show them you’re not scared. (Advice for stand-up comics, because if you are nervous and they overpower you the effect is lost).

"It is all over school that a seventy-six-years-old woman [Adrian’s grandma, after learning that he is being tormented by local bully Barry Kent] frightened Barry Kent and his dad into giving back my menaces money [she assures Adrian that Barry won't be bothering him again]." – Sue Townsend (The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole, Methuen, London, U.K., 1984).

Retrospective inserts.

Derailed (directed by Mackle Håfström, 2005).

Charles Schine (Clive Owen) is set up by a vicious murderer from France and his girlfriend who extort $20,000 from him followed by $100,000 which is all the money he and his wife had saved up to aid their daughter’s illness. When Schine realises that Lucinda Harris (Jennifer Aniston) is not who she claims to be, he goes after them when they pull the same trick on another hapless victim in the same hotel. LaRoche (Vincent Cassel) survives the bullet he took but his girlfriend dies from hers. Schine is then charged with embezzlement for ‘borrowing’ $10,000 of his company funds in order to pay someone to scare LaRoche (whom the latter subsequently shoots). As a former teacher, Schine’s community service is spent in a prison classroom and reads about the whole ordeal in an exercise book that has been handed in. The story ends with a statement that he is going to the laundry room...where he finds LaRoche who tells him he is going to fuck his life up completely. He forces him up against a wall:

Philippe LaRoche: You got put in the wrong fucking prison!

Charles Schine: LaRoche...I chose this prison.

Charles Schine then stabs LaRoche in the stomach with a knife, killing him.

‘To live by the sword is to die by the sword.’ This is not the way of eternal life. Emulate the Sun to overcome strife.

“When I went to school there used to be a bully. He took my goldfish. You understand me? In third grade, he took my goldfish. He took my motherfucking goldfish. I had it in a plastic bag. He looked at me and laughed and he stepped on the motherfucker. Yeah he did! I kept having to see this [guy] for three or four weeks…my home boys, between us…they whipped his ass and then I seen him again a week later and I whipped his ass.” – Snoop Dogg (in an interview with DJ Whoo Kid. I think he said that the adult thug mentality is similar: if you keep going with the testosterone, aggression turns into acts of violence.

Return of the Urban Warrior by Barefoot Doctor (Thorsons, London, U.K., 2001).

p.214. Unless you are a dictator of a well-armed country with the military in your pocket or just a plain thug, it is always wiser not to vent your frustrations through hostile, aggressive or violent behaviour towards others. You can, of course, use your anger as part of a strategy to protect human life (yours or someone you’re protecting) in the face of imminent physical attack - when not sufficiently trained in the art of self-defence to fight without anger...We all make mistakes. It’s an inevitable part of the ride down the great thoroughfare, but it’s obviously something you would wish, as a warrior, to keep to a minimum - especially in connection with the inappropriate expression of rage, if only to save valuable time spent in subsequent damage limitation exercises, custodial sentences or hospital.

p.216. ...that person is actually doing the very best they can according to their current stage of personal evolution and that there is no need for you to take the effects of that personally. Once remembered, start saying, ‘I love you, I love you, I love you!’

[Cut to grannies film, which opens with a pan across Bolton]

Voice of reporter: [Voice over] This is a frightened city. Over these streets, over these houses, hangs a pall of fear. An ugly kind of violence is rife, stalking the town. [Film of old ladies beating up two young men] Yes, gangs of old ladies attacking fit, defenceless young men.

[Film of four grannies walking aggressively along street, pushing passers-by aside]

First Young Man: [Voice over] Well they just come up to you and push you, like, you know, shove you off the pavement. There's usually about four or five of them.

Second Young Man (Terry Jones): Yeah, sometimes there’s three or four of them. It’s not even safe to go out down to the shops anymore.

[Film of grannies harassing an attractive girl]

Reporter: [Voice over] Grannies are no respecter of race, creed or sex. Theirs is a harsh, ruthless world, a tough world, a world in which the surgical stocking is king. But, what are they in it for, these senile delinquents, these layabouts in lace?

First Granny: [Voice over] Ah, the violence.

Second Granny: [Voice over] The prestige mainly.

Third Granny: The free gifts.

Fourth Granny: Putting the knee in the groin.

One of the grannies: We like pulling the heads off sheep.

One of the grannies: And teacakes!

All: Yeah!

Policeman: We have a lot of trouble with these grannies. Pension day's the worst. As soon as they get it they blow the lot on milk, tea, sugar, a tin of meat for the cat.

Reporter (Eric Idle): The whole crux of the problem, er, lies in the basic dissatisfaction, of these senile delinquents, with the world as they find it. They begin to question the values of their society. They see their sons and daughters growing up to become accountants, solicitors, sociologists even, and they begin to wonder, ‘Is it all worth it? Is it all...[Disappears down a manhole in the pavement] aaarggh!

[Shot of two grannies replacing manhole cover and then bashing passersby with their handbags as they flee]

Reporter: [Voice over] Another prime target for vandalism is telephone boxes. [Film of three grannies hauling a red telephone box off] But, mostly, they just live for kicks. [Film of three grannies riding off on motorbikes with ‘Hell’s Grannies’ on the back of their coats]

Reporter: [Voice over] But there are other kinds of violence abroad. Other gangs, equally vicious, equally determined, such as the baby snatchers.

[Film of five men in baby outfits carrying off a young man from outside a shop. Cut to distraught wife]

Wife (Rita Davies): Well, I left him outside for a few moments while I got some brillopads. When I came back he was gone. He was only forty-eight.

[Cut to vicar walking across a street]

Reporter [Voice over] And also, vicious gangs of ‘keep left’ signs.

[Two ‘keep left’ pillar signs attack the vicar]

Colonel (Graham Chapman): Right, stop that. It’s silly. Very silly indeed. It started off as a nice little idea about old ladies attacking young men but now it’s gotten silly. His hair’s too long for a vicar too. And you can tell those are not proper ‘keep left’ signs. [Turning round] Clear off the lot of you! [To the camera] You, come with me.

- Monty Python’s Flying Circus Hell's Grannies sketch (Episode 8: ‘Full frontal nudity,’ 1969, written by Monty Python, BBC TV).