Monstaville Book II. Chapter 37

37

“Treat a man as he appears to be, and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.”

- Johann Wolfgang Goethe.

  

Petty differences can escalate into an all-out war.

‘No one else will have you. You’re useless, pathetic’: a male bullying a female in a relationship. He makes her feel helpless. It is a process of conditioning. She is so dependent on him. She is weak and afraid to leave a) because she can’t fend for herself or find another relationship and/or b) he would hurt her more. So, she stays, even with her child, to be abused. She is a victim.

Trisha Goddard (daytime chat show on Channel 5, 2005).

Anger Management

“It is not that I do not get angry. I don't give vent to my anger. I cultivate the quality of patience as angerlessness, and generally speaking, I succeed. But I only control my anger when it comes. How I find it possible to control it would be a useless question, for it is a habit that everyone must cultivate and must succeed in forming by constant practice.” - Mahatma Ghandi.

“Here, catch” (Trisha throws a cup). ‘You can pick up and run with something. You have a choice.’ You have a choice as to pick it up or let it drop to the ground. You get caught up in a game. Never talking to each other - not listening.

My comment: If you react and create negative thought patterns in yourself, expecting or fearing recurrences, you’re continuing the cycle, maintaining the victim bond to the bullies. What you need to do is programme yourself regardless of the external circumstances. Call upon God through prayer and affirm positive will to your subconscious. Centre yourself in a powerful confidence that can create a more positive reflection in your life.

“Prayer opens the door of God’s intervention in human affairs. It provides an avenue whereby the Ascended Masters and cosmic beings who desire to serve the planet earth and its evolutions can walk within the folds of universal justice and render special assistance because they have been called upon to do so. For the law decrees that the heavenly hosts must be petitioned by some among mankind, must be invited to intervene, before they are permitted to intercede on behalf of humanity.” - St. Germain (recorded by Mark L. Prophet and Elizabeth Clare Prophet, Saint Germain on Alchemy. Formulas for Self-transformation, Summit Publications, Inc., MT., U.S., 1985 and 1993, p.65-66).

Passive-aggressive: You are aggressive because you’re scared. ‘I’ll just be here and be quiet.’ You look disinterested and disapproving. You can be annoying. You have an anger problem but one that seethes quietly. The burning martyr: ‘I’m sorry, look how I’m suffering.’

It’s scary to be either passive or aggressive. They are both negative. But, to be actively compassionate or express power assertively and positively in relation to your enemies is very difficult.

Share your feelings. But some people are stressed and scared, and aggressive, and want you to suffer as well - so they don’t feel so bad. They want to see that it is normal behaviour and make you negative as well, so they might feel better, more confident, happier with themselves, more secure or in control. They feel power and enjoy it. It is this negative power that they use to take them out of themselves. They derive exhilaration and adrenalin from the situation without the actual danger or need for the courage that is necessary to confront someone who is able and willing to fight back. Bullies never go for those who can defend themselves or who are in a strong position.

“Anger is a manifestation of a deeper issue...and that, for me, is based on insecurity, [low] self-esteem and loneliness.” - Naomi Campbell.

“Fear is the only true enemy, born of ignorance and the parent of anger and hate.” - Edward Albert.

“Expressing anger with love is simply expressing your feelings, or what is at the core of your anger. So there is a way to share the fact that you are angry without expressing negativity upon another being. It is sharing your feelings. If you feel that you are angered by something someone has done, you can express to them that something they did caused you to feel anger. You did not feel it was right, you felt that you were being persecuted, perhaps, or treated unjustly. So look beneath the anger. See why it is you are feeling anger. And if there is someone there to share those feelings with, then do so. You can also release anger in an extreme way: have a fit; pound on some inanimate pillows which cannot feel your rage. It is all right to release rage at this point if you do not have a way to release it more gently. Seek to forgive yourself and others. But do not ‘stuff’ your feelings, for they need to be released. You are all undergoing a releasing process. Often it is at such a deep level that you do not even know why you are feeling what you are feeling. Simply allow the feelings to flow through. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. As for the future, anger will become obsolete. It won’t be long before you do not feel it anymore. You will feel power. Perhaps you will feel a focuses power or directness which may feel similar to anger, but it is not.” – Sananda (channelled through Eric Klein, The Crystal Stair. A Guide to the Ascension, Oughton House Publications, CA., U.S., 1990, p.142).

Panorama (BBC1, 10 April 2005).

School Bullying (‘Why bullies win’).

A teacher’s advice to a bullied girl: “Don’t do anything back and eventually it dies down” and “Ignore it.”

This represents a school’s denial. They are not taking responsibility for the situation because there is one bullied child (and her parents) against several bullies and their parents. It is an example of mob rule.

The school usually blames the victim and their upbringing, etc. But it is not their fault because they haven’t done anything wrong. They don’t deserve that kind of treatment. The head teacher must take a strong line and send out a clear message: ‘We do not tolerate bullying in our school.’ That will promote good effective discipline.

Bullies need to take responsibility for their behaviour and understand its effects - to change their behaviour. The bully is accountable. Punishment is required: a limit placed on their instinctive group aggression.

Another approach to dealing with bullying: not blaming the bully but sitting down and talking rationally. So the bully and victim can understand each other. Also, get support for the victim from people in the group; that is, focus on the victim and show sympathy for them rather than blaming and punishing the bully. This is the ‘no blame’ approach. Discussing such problems is such an order, however. It can cause the victim to feel worse. They may feel more intimidated through this approach of opening up to the bullies. They have this cosy chat and then the bully starts terrorising the victim again as soon as they leave the room. It is important to tell someone - but someone must listen. And, schools just aren’t listening.

One reason for people bullying others is that they’ve been bullied and want others to suffer as they have, assuming they’re hard done by. They resent others’ (real or perceived) freedom or intelligence, etc.

An apology isn’t enough - just to please the teacher and make them feel the matter has been concluded. The bullying continues. We have a system that caters for the school’s interests. We need an independent body that is private, not part of the Government or education authorities. Unless they are very serious they will all stick together. There needs to be sufficient support to protect children from being bullied.

“I found one day in school a boy of medium size ill-treating a smaller boy. I expostulated, but he replied: ‘The big boys hit me, so I hit the babies; that’s fair.’ In these words, he epitomised the history of the human race.” - Bertrand Russell (Education and Social Order).

Retrospective insert.

“Once again whatever you are thinking and feeling you will create. So when you are feeling good, your reality is good. When you are feeling bad, then your reality does not seem so good. This is even though it is the same reality as when you were feeling good! So always observe the way that you feel and be in the feeling space. If somebody makes you angry just know that the anger is inside of you. If you are to get angry with them in the outer world you will energise that aspect of yourself that is angry, whereas if you remove yourself from that position and find that aspect of yourself that is angry and use your energy to heal this anger instead of changing the person who has made you angry you will never again be angry for the same reason. You would have used all your energy to resolve the anger and to heal yourself. The angry aspect of yourself will otherwise gain more and more power in your inner world.” - Kryon (channelled through ‘The Divine Constellation, 1 April 2010, Rosario, Argentina, www.kryon.org.za/ChannellingNo458.htm).

“School is quite terrifying too, the first time you go to school. My father said to me, ‘there’ll be a boy at school who’ll want to hit you. First day in school and somebody will want to hit you. Now, that is a school bully. Now, all school bullies are cowards. And, he’ll only hit you if he thinks that you’re frightened. So, if you hit him first, he will run away. I was expelled in two weeks for being the school bully. Every new kid used to come - I used to beat the shit out of him.” - Irish comedian Dave Allen.