Sunday, 1 April 2012

A Later Monstaville Appendix Removed from Book

Appendix LXXV

Email from a friend on 15 November 2009

...and the migraine's gone after an entire week of agony. But something new happened last night. It may have something to do with the almighty Pluto. I went into a store for milk, after work...this store is next to the building I work at. I think I told you I don't work in the nicest environment...the people that live and frequent this area are def. not the aristocratic type! So I'm standing at the cashier stand ready to pay with my debit card. A young black male, with cap and hoodie over cap, plus a cell in hand and a 3/4 style cargo jacket, jeans and boots, stands behind me...but not just stands there. He's scoping my wallet and my debit card.

He walked back and forth until the time when I was swiping the card and he was right-behind-me. So I asked (slightly, but not overly perturbed) "can you move over that way?”...he asked defiantly "Why?” I said "because I asked you to"...hum....guess I shouldn't have said anything at all? Maybe I should have pretended to forget my PIN number and let him go in front then go back? I really fucked up this time I think. 

He started wailing "why the fuck do I have to move...." and he was cursing in his Jamaican style gang land shit language, about me and why he has to do what I say etc...Anyway, I moved to the next cashier and when I finished, he was on the cell. I'm positive he was calling in the troops to do me in for being so incredibly rude to him *sarcasm*…Cop came, and as he escorted me to the front of the store, this OTHER big black guy stared bullets into ME. He had his head tilted back and eyes down, toward me and in my eyes, his eyes said "I know what you look like, I'm gonna get you". Cop agreed that he was targeting me...Cop showed me to the truck, but stayed behind as I sped out of the park lot and up the street at about 90KM's. I made sure no one was close to me, behind me, so that they could see where I live. I'm confident I was not followed but...the guy who stared bullets at me, if he sees me anywhere, I'm sure he'll pull out his shotgun and shoot me dead.

So I just called my boss and quit my job...the only few measly bucks I’ve been making...gone. I explained all to him. He's not much for words but did say I need to look after me first and basically not to worry about the short notice. I'm pissed off right now, and I'm scared and stressed. I"m off to finding yet another fucking job. Great. But this time, it won't be anywhere near this area. I'll be going north or east or west...never go down that way again. My migrane is gone thankfully...not sure why. I did buy some midol last night just before the incident as the pharmacy...that seems to help quite a bit...never thought of that before. Ok nuff ranting...but, if you can see if I'm in danger in the next week or while, that would be great. Only if you're up to it. I'm doing what I can to stay safe. Hope you're ok in spite of everything though...and yes, working for a living SUCKS. 

My reply (with her next reply in italics inserted into my email)


I was annoyed last night. After I sent out that Mira post I couldn't open hotmail to reply to your message. WTF?
- Typical BS email behaviour!

I shouldn't worry. Particularly if you left the job and aren't around there anymore. 
-Yeah but I live just one minute's drive up the road :(

 I'm sure he was just 'running' you, making you feel scared. You're not going to come across him again.
- Not so sure; as I say, I live just up the road. I'm buying a blonde wig on the weekend.

Well, you and your big mouth eh? Haha. 
- I guess u could say that. WTF didn't I just pretend my pin number was broke or something???

Well, perhaps it would have been best to say nothing. If they really were after your pin and planning to mug you afterwards you could just have given them the card and then called the bank to cancel it immediately. 
- I guess it's instinct...ugh.

Usually there is a limit to what someone can take out in one day. When I worked as a rep for cab offices there was a Bengali driver who was out shopping with his wife and young daughter and two black guys demanded that he hand over the keys of his car to them. He refused and they smashed his leg and drove off with it anyway. I don't think his leg ever fully recovered. It would have been better t have lost his car although it was his livelihood. Tricky. They do say if some muggers demand your wallet just to give it to them because your life or whatever are worth more to you. 
- Oh totally agree...not worth it; but i guess i was galled by his blatant behaviour. He's also just a kid, maybe 18 or so...I was more annoyed that he was right up my ass!

But, yeah, I'm also for being bold - IF you can follow it through with fearlessness and the power of your spirit. My Xingyi teacher always used to say that the most powerful weapon one has is righteous honesty...when you feel right and speak wholeheartedly, fully from your heart...then even a huge monster is no match for a little girl. But you can't afford to feel fear because that is exactly what these kinds of guys are looking for and try to provoke. That feeds their aggression because they are cowardly animals and it feels safe for them.
- Guess I'll have to buy a weapon LOL!

Of course a confident and aware person is going to say or do 'something' and may have the experience to know exactly what to do whereas someone who looks shy, fearful, insecure, impressionable, vulnerable...that gives the predators confidence and replaces their fears and insecurities with a feeling of power which they will definitely get off on because it's probably the only time when they feel powerful...when there's two guys on one defenceless woman going to the shops! If you're fearless then you are an unknown force to them. That is, you might do anything. Anything could happen. You could be the devil in disguise or Mother fucking Mary! LOL. 
- Ack...they think they can fuck anyone up. Actually, there was a murder in that mall about 6 months ago, by a gang...right at that store...holy fucking mother of god! 

They aren't warriors, so if you are, in your own way, then you win. Probably. 
- I don't exactly look defenceless, unless women in general are looked upon by these types especially, to be that type...I walk around on my own with a frown usually...a tough one. I don't look too friendly when I'm alone shopping. Serious and stern I think describe the look on my face. I get it from my father...I'm also starting to look more and more like him too!

I'm speculating because this isn't just about courage and fearlessness but also wisdom, and love. You know, for a successful outcome there probably needs to be a combination of things in terms of attitude, thought, feeling, body language and verbal expression. Love is the greatest power so that ought really to be the first ingredient. If you're heart's not open then surely it's wise to protect yourself by erring on the side of caution unless you are blessed with another form of power.
- Ha...I have many powers...not sure how to use all of them though, I guess.

I mean, potentially, the power of your will and spirit is far greater than theirs combined but it isn't as simple as that. Self-mastery requires that we love ourselves fully and unconditionally and believe in our power - 
- I do love myself fully - and maybe a little mystified my myself as well, like the power thing...still a bit of a mystery to me. I know I have many powers...the unusual 
fucked up things that happen to me all the time...not of the garden variety either...well, they need investigation. I'm sure I'm an Indigo. I'm sure I have psychic abilities...I'm sure I've got raised magnetic frequency...and a host of other abnormal stuff...ugh.

to create and manifest what we want. So, another form of power would be social status, for example. Don't tell me, you forgot to take your jewel-encrusted sceptre and diamond tiara! Tsk! 
-Where the fuck are the jewels, lol...

Actually, being a woman is powerful in normal circumstances (that is, where the men aren't the most cowardly creatures on the planet) because men will fight other men at the drop of a hat but most men won't touch a woman, I believe, because of their conditioning. 
- I tend to believe that most men WILL touch a woman like in abuse...the documented cases of abuse are astronomical...always have been...

They'd have to be incredibly psycho, cowardly, insensitive and barbaric for that. 
-Well...most men I've come in contact with ARE those things.

Of course there are men like that and I have to say that if two guys are picking on a woman because they believe it is easy to steal her money then the chances are they are the equivalent to pond life and not to be trusted. Then again, they might also be picking on women because they know they're less likely to meet any resistance. In which case, if the woman started screaming and waving her arms frantically they might well run off!

I guess you had two options, ask him to get out of the way or just move to the next cashier? 
- All I said was ‘Can you please move over there’ pointing my finger to the ground next to me. I guess the finger pointing didn't help. I guess I should have just pretended that my card was not working, made a call on my cell and pretended to chat till he fucked out of the store...hindsight is always 20/20!

Um...I would have gone for the second option! Then, if he followed, you'd know for sure what his intentions were. You could have told the cashier you didn't feel comfortable with the man watching you and if he didn't tell the guy to get out of your space immediately you could have said, 'OK, I'll go to the next cashier then.' 
- Well, the guy was right behind me. He surely would have heard every word I said. He was hovered above me and behind me!

What you did was courageous and I'm sure it must have helped teach that guy something. 
- Not sure...I just know he's a gang member. The manager said so and so did the cop.

I mean, he is probably used to a certain type of woman in that area who has low self-esteem. Then again, perhaps they recognised you as an 'out-of-towner' and figured you might be rich! 
- I wasn't dressed really great. I had a nylon half coat on, with high heeled stiletto boots, black and jeans...My hair is cut short like Twiggy short and coloured in vibrant mahogany reds...and makeup. I don't think I look rich, not that day; but maybe he thought I was...I wish!

It's easy to reflect on these things in hindsight. At the time, all you have is your own instinct, intuition, integrity and initiative. Four eyes! Well, most of us only have two of them! Instinct and inhibition! I'm sure it was a great learning experience for you though. 
- Oh yeah...big time!

I have to confess that I sent you a little healing on that day which is the first time for several months. Perhaps it helped your migraine and perhaps your guides used the energy for this in some way? 
- Awwww thanks honey! That must have been it...and the Midol! lol...yes thank u sooo much. I'm SURE it helped! You're a doll man...a cinderella man....

You never know. I mean, like, perhaps you needed to see the danger of working in that area and quit the job. So this was the quickest and safest way of doing it. And you are safe and free. Celebrate!
- Well not so fast. I'm buying a wig, and getting my mother in law's car, hopefully if she doesn't want too much. I think she wants I'm getting paid for my classes in a few weeks and my old boss owes me my last week's pay. Did I tell u I quit my job at the building bc of this! The building is right next I don't wanna take chances being seen in the area. The cops also said to keep away as it's not a safe area esp for a woman! Yes I'm celebrating that I'm alive. But not out of the woods yet. Maybe you can do something for me in terms of keeping me safe! 

Oh yeah...the other thing, wisdom...well, I am always ready to ask for help from my guides, or you can ask the angels or whoever. Archangel Michael is always there for these kinds of scenarios. Everyone ought to be taught that I believe. It is essential information for living. If in any kind of danger call upon him for help. Years and years ago when I was in my early 20s I was in a spiritual bookshop in London and when I arrived at the queue this black guy was starting to go completely psycho, shouting violently without any provocation. No one had spoken to him. He was like some demon cursing the place and its divine energies etc. I asked my guides mentally to help and within literally four seconds he was out of the shop, just suddenly shut up and waked out. LOL. 
- Did he have ‘Tourette's syndrome’? They do this; I've seen shows on it. [This is a possibility I suppose. I was young and wouldn’t have known about it at the time]

I remember it because it's certainly the best result I ever had. But then you can imagine what spiritual energies must have been in that shop ready to help as soon as anyone asked. For all I know, someone else asked for help at the same time. But, yeah, he just went 'zip' and left all of a sudden, like in a hurry as if he could no longer stand the presence of Light in the place! Perhaps it was a 'demon' and they removed it so the guy suddenly came to his senses. Actually, I know someone whom I'm sure is possessed by a lower astral entity sometimes. He's a Pakistani guy the same age as me. Essentially, he is a warm, intelligent and adventurous guy, but he is extremely hard-headed; tough. He's also a big mouth I guess you might say. He speaks his mind and can be rude but I've always seen him as just someone enjoying life and having fun, someone utterly fearless who is wilder than other people but means no harm, and will defend himself and others physically if he needs to. Needless to say, he's been in trouble quite a lot throughout his life!
- Are u implying something? I assure you I am not possessed. If we ever talk, you will know this, lol...

Nowadays, he's an alcoholic as well and in a complete state. I rarely see him but he trusts and respects me because we used to work near each other and talk about life. He had some degree of dignity and self-worth back then. It all started to crumble when his girlfriend left and his business was targeted by people she know, or so he said. Anyway, I have noticed that he suddenly snaps out of it if he's in that state and I arrive. It's like part of him couldn't bear to inflict that on me, like he's protecting me, and perhaps I remind him of the self-love he once had, or is buried deep inside himself, or the self-love he was seeking out in the world through women and through friendship in order to compensate for the loss of his long-term relationship. It's sad.
- Yep...

I'm growing a pony tail on the back of my head at the moment.
- Bet it looks sexeh!

I was walking down the street a while ago and a young Asian guy started shouting at me, commenting on the hair on the back of my head as though it were a crime basically. I turned round to look at him and saw that he was alone but carried on walking and just shook my head because I didn't feel he was anything to fear. Of course, I could, if I were more aggressive, have stopped walking and turned round to confront him. - Not worth it!

I have to say the thought did occur to me! I decided not to, however. - Good... When I reached the end of the street, which wasn't far, he started alerting a group of Asian guys who were hanging around there to my unconventional appearance (which they couldn't see as I walked towards them). He was obviously feeling bold and confident because he was on his way to meet them. That's the way of the world for now..that's why gangs exist...because men who are secure in themselves and strong enough to be individual don't have any desire to bully people. - I know...

Eric Fleming

So did the cashier call the cop?
- No no, I did.

Anyway, it's good that you alerted the cop to the black guy staring at you and got an escort to your car.
- Yes but I think there were MORE gang members outside the store and I walked by them. Good possibility that they eyed my license plate.

Yeah, I reckon you just weren't meant to be in that area and needed to get out.
- Big time...I don't belong there for god's sakes! 

I hope you are asking for help with jobs and money and stuff.
- Well I sent out a great resume just half hr ago...and cover letter etc. In prop management...hope to get something soon.

I know you are practical and wise in other ways but if you're not doing this you're a dumbass bimbo! LOL. Capiche? 
- What do u want me to pray to? I believe in being pro active and making things happen. Not that into praying. If that's what u mean. I also believe in destiny. No matter what we want or strive for, if it's not meant to happen, it NEVER will.

I mean, I have my money problems, but at least I know what I'm doing and where I'm going. 
- I know where I'd love to go and what things I want to do. Just not possible right now. But if my health is ok still in a few more years, I will be moving out of Ontario and maybe to BC or somewhere ALOT nicer than Toronto!

I have my purpose and I'm getting on with it regardless. I curse the universe for not supporting me - (me too, all the time)

(well, I call it 'stupid' if you can call that a - because I'm shit scared and barely surviving - you must put into play things that will produce desired spite of perhaps certain things not meant to be...least you will know what is feasible and what's not)

but hey I also just have to accept that I'm on the right path - (I hope you're right for your own sake).

I know I won't find what I need in a job - (neither will I in property management but at least I will have the money needed to survive - I also have a teenager to take care of...).

Anyway, the best protection you have is to forget it and put it down to experience. 
- And buy a wig, glasses and wear a different coat, plus never drive that truck again... and never go to that area again. NEVER.

It is past so let go of it and replace all that fear and panic with feeling comfortable and joyful that it's over. Don't dwell on it. Feel confident, love yourself, ask for help and move on and by doing so it will disappear from your mind and life more quickly.

And I thought Canada was a sweet, civilised place!
- No it's's pretty ugly unless you're filthy RICH.

I guess impoverished urban areas are the same everywhere.
- Well it's not that impoverishedwe have the burb area that I live closer to, then there is those areas down the street a few minutes away...

I've been thinking a lot lately about how things might be if there was suddenly all this money available for everyone through NESARA and everyone was rich. 
- That will be the day!!!

It would help to fund my books! But I can't help thinking the world would be thrown into total chaos!! I mean all the dumbfucks on this planet would buy everything up so there was nothing left! LOL. But then if we have free energy and replicators so we can have anything we want courtesy of our friendly ET neighbours...who knows?

Anyway, better have my bath and get on.

Breathe deeply and relax. Breathing deeply all the time is a must, as is drinking water a lot. Because these things help release any negative emotions or tension that may surface any time. Thus, we can move through them and release them. Otherwise, we avoid, deny and repress them like we've done for so many lifetimes, and they all fester in our subconscious and breed!
- Thanks again for your words of take care of yourself...

Excerpt from my reply (24 November 2009):

Well, it is important to ask for help because you’re not alone. Just because we’re living in this hologram where we appear to be separate, we have friends and guides on the astral planes and a host of angelic and galactic beings in the ascended dimensions of Light and Reality beyond that...and, ultimately, the Creator, which is our essential Being anyway! These are quite chaotic times Rosa. I have made a mental note to ask Archangel Michael for protection if I feel it’s really needed but I was talking to someone recently who does this each day and I’ve pretty much decided to do this as well. Better to be on the safe side! It’s the most powerful protection one can have. ‘What do u want me to pray to? I believe in being pro active and making things happen. Not that into praying. If that's what u mean. I also believe in destiny. No matter what we want or strive for, if it's not meant to happen, it NEVER will.’ - if you don’t mind me saying so, this is a bit old-fashioned! It worked during the linear age but we’re entering the quantum age now and it’s not enough. Get with it girl!

Indigo, yeah, but with adults it is not necessarily all-Indigo. Most adult Indigos are semi-Indigo. I wasn’t implying that you are possessed! Haha. Just relating a story. Women take things so personally! I was just adding another story on the subject...Dracula’s daughter (hehe).

I didn’t realise the place was not far from where you live. It sounded like it was some distance away. You can’t live in fear though. I think you just need to ask Archangel Michael for protection each day and you’ll be fine. Plus, you have the Light I’m sending. Well, people like those gang members probably stay in their own ‘hood’ and are too scared to go anywhere else. Where you live is probably the territory of another gang so they can’t go there.

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