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Sunday 1 April 2012

Training the Mind and Cultivating Loving-Kindness

"Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight?: always try to be a little kinder than is necessary." - Sir James M. Barrie.

Training the Mind and Cultivating Loving-Kindness

By Chögyam Trungpa

The Tibetan Buddhist practice of tonglen is ‘exchanging oneself for others.’ Tonglen means ‘sending and taking.’ It is a method of reversing the habit pattern of self-centeredness, “based on the practice of putting others before self.” (p.xvii-xviii). It is a way to “accept others and be of benefit to them,” writes the editor in the foreword. “We do this not because we are martyrs or have suppressed our concern, but because we have begun to accept ourselves and our world. Slogan practice opens up a greater field of tenderness and strength, so that our actions are based on appreciation rather than the ongoing cycle of hope and fear.” Tonglen is a way of being more gentle, relaxed and open so that our higher qualities can shine through: “There is no notion of moral battlefield in which we ward off evil and fight for the right. The traditional Buddhist image for compassion is that of the sun, which shines beneficently and equally on all. It is the sun’s nature to shine; there is no struggle. Likewise, compassion is a natural human activity, once the veils and obstacles to its expression are removed.” (p.xxi).

Point Two. The Main Practice, which is Training in Bodhichitta

p.11. “The ultimate or absolute bodhichitta principle is based on developing the paramita of generosity, which is symbolised by a wish-fulfilling jewel...the notion of generosity means not holding back but giving constantly. Generosity is self-existing openness, complete openness. You are no longer subject to cultivating your own scheme or project. And the best way to open yourself up is to make friends with yourself and with others.”
p.15. “We would like to be tough. We would like to fight, to come out strong, so we do not have to defend any aspect of ourselves. We would like to attack our enemy on the spot, single-handedly. We would like to lay our trips on everybody completely and properly, so that we have nothing to hide. That way, if somebody decides to hit us back, we are not wounded. And hopefully, no-one will hit us on that sore spot, that wound that exists in us. Our basic makeup, the basic constituents of our mind, are based on passion and compassion at the same time. But however confused we might be, still there is an open wound or sore spot in us always. There always will be a sore spot.”
p.16. “That sore spot is known as embryonic compassion, potential compassion. At least we have some kind of gap, some discrepancy in our state of being which allows basic sanity to shine through...We have some kind of opening. It doesn’t matter what it is love of as long as there is a sore spot, an open wound.”
p.17. “That vulnerability is compassion. We really have no way to defend ourselves anymore at all.”
p.21. “It has been said that if you don’t have discipline, it is like trying to walk without any legs. You cannot attain liberation without discipline.”
p.28. Not concerning ourselves with self: “We could take care of others. We could actually be patient enough to develop selfless service to others.”
p.46. “You give away your happiness, your pleasure, anything that feels good. All of that goes out with the outbreath. As you breathe in, you breathe in any resentments and problems, anything that feels bad. The whole point is to remove territoriality altogether...We simply breathe out any old good and breathe in any old bad.”
p.48. “In tonglen we are aspiring to take on the suffering of other sentient beings. We mean that literally: we are actually willing to take that on.”
p.48-49. “Usually you would like to hold on to your goodness. You would like to make a fence around yourself and put everything bad outside it: foreigners, your neighbours, or what have you. You don’t want them to come in. You don’t even want your neighbour to walk their dogs on your property because they might make a mess on your lawn. So in ordinary samsaric life, you don’t send and receive at all. You try as much as possible to guard those pleasant little situations you have created for yourself...You try to hold on to as much as you can, and anything outside of your territory is regarded as altogether problematic. You don’t want to catch the local influenza...that is going around. You are constantly trying to ward off as much as you can.”
p.50. “The main point is to develop the psychological attitude of exchanging oneself for others...”
p.54-55. “The suffering that other people are experiencing can be brought in because, in contrast to that, you have basic healthiness and wakefulness, which can certainly absorb anything that comes to it. You can absorb more suffering because you have a lot more to give.”
p.55-56. “The problem with most people is that they are always trying to give out the bad and take in the good. That has been the problem of society in general and the world altogether. But now we are on the Mahayana path and the logic is reversed.”
p.63. “The whole thing is that for a long time we have wanted to inflict pain on others and cultivate pleasure for ourselves. That has been the problem all along...Instead of inflicting pain on others, we take on the pain ourselves; instead of sucking out others’ pleasure, we give our pleasure to them.”
p.65. “When we reflect on our enemy, that inspires aggression. Whatever aggression our enemy has provided for us - let that aggression be ours and let the enemy thereby be free from any of aggression.”
p.66-67. “By holding your poison, you let go of the object, or the intent, of your poison...if your anger is not directed toward something, the object of aggression falls apart. It is impossible to have an object of anger, because the anger belongs to you rather than to its object. You give your compassion to the object so that it doesn’t provoke your anger - then what are you angry with? You find yourself just hanging out there, with no-one to project onto.”
p.70. “The basic idea of this practice is actually very joyful. It is wonderful that human beings can do such a fantastic exchange and that they are willing to invite such undesirable situations into their world. It is wonderful that they are willing to let go of even their smallest corners of secrecy and privacy, so that their holding on to anything is gone completely. That is very brave. We could certainly say that this is the world of the warrior, form the bodhisattva’s point of view."



Point Three. Transformation of Bad Circumstances into the Path of Enlightenment

p.71-72. “The definition of patience is forbearance. Whatever happens, you don’t react to it. The obstacle of patience is aggression. Patience does not mean biding your time and trying to slow down. Impatience arises when you become too sensitive and you don’t have any way to deal with your environment, your atmosphere. You feel very touchy, very sensitive. So the paramita of patience is often described as a suit of armour. Patience has a sense of dignity and forbearance. You are not so easily disturbed by the world’s aggression.”
p.74-75. “A lot of those situations could be regarded as expressions of your own timidity and cowardice. They could all be regarded as expressions of your own poverty mentality...you should begin to build up confidence and joy in your own richness. That richness is the essence of generosity. It is the sense of resourcefulness, that you can deal with whatever is available around you and not feel poverty stricken. The nature of generosity is to be free from desire, free from attachment, able to let go of anything.”
p.77. “A popular phrase says, ‘Don’t lay your trip on me.’ Interestingly, trips are laid on us, but not by anybody. We decide to take on those trips ourselves, and then we become resentful and angry.”
p.78. “But it is we who are not letting go, not developing enough warmth and sympathy - which makes us problematic. So we cannot blame anybody.”
p.80-81. “Even though somebody else has made a terrible boo-boo and blamed it on you, you should take the blame yourself. In terms of power, it is a much simpler and more direct way of controlling the situation. In addition, it is the most direct way of simplifying complicated neuroses into one point...By taking that particular blame on yourself, you reduce the neurosis that’s happening around you. You also reduce any paranoia existing in other people, so that those people might have clearer vision.”
p.82-83. “If you do not allow a little bit of blame and injustice to come to you, nothing is going to work. And if you do not really absorb all the blame, but say it is not yours since you are too good and are doing so well, then nothing is going to work. This is so because everybody is looking for someone to blame, and they would like to blame you - not because you have done anything, but because they probably think you have a soft spot in your heart. They think that if they put their jam or glue on you, then you actually might buy it and say, ‘Okay, the blame is mine.’



Once you begin to do that, it is the highest and most powerful logic, the most powerful incantation you can make. You can actually make the whole thing functional. You can absorb the poison - then the rest of the situation becomes medicine. If nobody is willing to absorb the blame, it becomes a big interrelational football. It is not even tight like a good football, but filled with a lot of glue and gooey all over the outside as well. Everybody tries to pass it on to each other and nothing happens. Finally that football begins to grow bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. Then it causes revolutions and all the rest.”
p.84. “...it is important for individuals to absorb unjustified blame and to work with that. It is very important and necessary.”
p.86. “The text says: ‘Drive all blames into one.’ The reason you have to do that is because you have been cherishing yourself so much, even at the cost of sacrificing somebody else’s life. You have been cherishing yourself, holding yourself so dearly. Although sometimes you might say that you don’t like yourself, even then in your heart of hearts you know that you like yourself so much that you’re willing to throw everybody else down the drain, down the gutter. You are really willing to do that. You are willing to let somebody sacrifice his life, give himself away for you. And who are you, anyway? So the point is that all blames should be driven into oneself.”
p.86. “This slogan does not mean you should not speak up. If you see something that is obviously destructive to everybody, you should speak out in the form of driving all blames into yourself.”
p.92. “The slogan ‘Be grateful to everyone’ follows automatically once we drive all blames into one...Without others, we would have no chance at all to develop beyond ego. So the idea here is to feel grateful that others are presenting us with tremendous obstacles - even threats or challenges. The point is to appreciate that. Without them, we could not follow the path at all. Walking on the path of the dharma is connected with dealing with our neurosis...They are actually the ones who are pushing us onto the path of dharma.”
p.93. “If someone hurts you, you should be thankful to them for giving you the chance to practice. But you do not have to expose yourself to be hurt, that would be some sort of martyrdom. You don’t have to ask to be hurt, but when you come up with such a situation, then all the things we discussed apply...You don’t have to avoid such situations and you don’t have to cultivate them. You just lead your life, being very sane, and you don’t hurt anybody else. But if anybody happens to hurt you, then you know what to do. It is very simple. We are not talking about deliberately jumping on a sword. That would be a misunderstanding. Instead you are making a close relationship with the person who is hurting you.”
p.124. “...in order to bring gentleness into effect, so to speak, we have to cut through aggression at the same time. Otherwise, there would be no gentleness.”
p.126. “...’Whatever you meet unexpectedly, join with meditation’...The idea is that whatever comes up is not a sudden threat or an encouragement or any of that bullshit. Instead it simply goes along with one’s discipline, one’s awareness of compassion. If somebody hits you in the face, that’s fine. Or if somebody decides to steal your bottle of coke, that’s fine too. This is somewhat naïve in a way, but at the same time it is very powerful.”
p.128. “...any situation you come across, should be joined immediately with meditation. Whatever shakes you should without delay, right away, be incorporated into the path. By the practice of shamatha-vipashyana, seeming obstacles can be accommodated on the spot through the sudden spark of awareness.”
p.129. “You have a general sense that you don’t have to powerfully attack others anymore. There is so much accommodation taking place in you. And out of that comes a kind of power: what you say begins to make sense to others. The whole thing works so wonderfully. It does not have to become martyrdom. It works very beautifully.”


Point Five. Evaluation of Mind Training.

p.147. “It has been said that the practice of meditation, that kind of mindfulness and awareness, is like protecting yourself from the lethal fangs of wild animals. These wild animals are related to the kleshas, the neurosis we experience. If there is not the mindfulness and awareness practice of the paramita of meditation, then we have no way of protecting ourselves from those attacks, and we also have no facilities to teach others or to work for the liberation of other sentient beings.”

p.159. “If someone punches you in the mouth and says, ‘You are terrible,’ you should be grateful that such a person has actually acknowledged you and said so. You could, in fact, respond with tremendous dignity by saying, ‘Thank you, I appreciate your concern.’ In that was his neurosis is taken over by you, taken into you, much as is done in tonglen practice. There is an immense sacrifice taking place here. If you think this is ridiculously trippy, you are right. In some sense the whole thing is ridiculously trippy. But if somebody doesn’t begin to provide some kind of harmony, we will not be able to develop sanity in this world at all. Somebody has to plant the seed so that sanity can happen on this earth.”

It’s about taming the ego, not allowing the fangs of neurosis to wound you.p.167. “These slogans are all connected with sharpening your intelligence in order to work with yourself. That is the idea of the sword of prajna. Prajna is regarded as the sword that cuts the bondage of ego...cuts through the habitual or potential neurosis.”
p.168. “...being in a state of compassion, kindness, openness and gentleness.”
p.173. “Because of your arrogance and your aggression, you prefer to talk about other people’s defects as a way of building yourself up. The point of this slogan is not taking delight in somebody else’s defects or injured limbs. ‘Injured limbs’ refers very literally to people’s psychological or physical state: being blind or dumb or slow. It refers to all kinds of physical defects that a person might possess. This seems to be the general ethic already set up by Christianity...

“This is not a puritanical approach to reality, but simply realising that if a person has problems in dealing with his or her life, we do not have to exaggerate that by making remarks about it.”
p.174. “One of the problems we have generally is that when somebody does something to us or violates our principles, we keep picking on that particular thing. We would like to get at him and make sure that person’s problems are subject to attack, subject to unhealthiness.”
p.188. “‘Don’t seek others’ pain as the limbs of your own happiness.’”


Point Seven. Guidelines of Mind Training

p.200. “‘Always meditate on whatever provokes resentment.’ Always meditate on that which is most difficult. If you do not start right away, the moment a difficulty arises, it is very hard to overcome it.”

p.202. “It is twisted compassion to be compassionate to those who endure hardships in order to practice dharma, but to be unconcerned and uncompassionate to those who do evil.”

(Shambhala, Boston, US, 1993).

Nebadonia: Yes, my son, I recall a lesson that Michael and I have both given from time to time, that one of the greatest gifts - for your fellows anyway - is simply to take on all the negative karma you encounter. And I use that word specifically to allude to all realms of human life - the physical, the mental, the spiritual, the soulful, the personal: to absorb this karma with all your inner strength, with all the freedom inside that lets you recognize things, and, in that recognition, that re-knowing, they no longer have you, you have them. And so it’s this simple act of recognition of what’s coming at you. Your greatest gift is to not simply put some spin on it and hurl it back. The great gift to your fellows - I should say one of the greatest, is to absorb all the negative karma that comes your way and not pass it on, but let it die with you. For if we jump now to a group, a society, what other way is there forward? Otherwise you have endless, endless, endless revenge and counter-revenge and counter-counter-revenge - folks playing God in their notions of justice.

But again, to be a democracy inside, to let whatever comes up, in, unafraid, and, as you say, not simply react with it - but act with it, creatively act with it, brings you back to your beginner’s mind. It brings you back to the most essential thing in that situation, which is for someone to come up with something new - if you will, the way out. Otherwise you’re forced to become a mere tyrant inside, supremely judgmental about everything you encounter. In the case of this lady with her own thoughts and feelings that she’s betrayed herself, it takes courage just to be still and be open. If it is really serious, you may have to spend days just letting it run its course. But you recognize what’s happening, and you don’t put some more spin on it to just get a little ego satisfaction by putting out something even worse. And all this takes courage. I know - because I too am in here doing my best with each one of you to augment that courage. 

- Nebadonia (channelled through JL, Marin Teaching Mission Group, Mill Valley, C.A., 8 February 2012, www.tmarchives.com/transcript_frames.php?tid=5889&search=&occurance=3).

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