Friday, 18 January 2013

Monstaville Book I. Introduction

Instructions on how to play The Game of Life:

“Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.”
- Voltaire.

"Life is not holding a good hand; Life is playing a poor hand well." 
- Danish proverb.

“There is nothing ultimate about life. Its best wisdom is the knowledge of how to play games.”
- Adi Da (The Knee of Listening: The Early-Life Ordeal and the Radical Spiritual Realisation of the Divine World-Teacher, The Dawn Horse Press, CA., U.S., 1972, p.251).

“His fairytale life takes a serious turn. To protect his family, this loving father has to think fast on his feet to turn the hard truth into a simple game.”
- From the trailer of the film Life is Beautiful (written and directed by, and starring, Roberto Benigni, 1997).

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well."
 - Jack London.

ALife is a game, the first rule of which is that it is not a game."
‑ Alan Watts.
"We must therefore imagine a new kind of individuality in which there are two spheres with a common centre. The outer sphere is the finite consciousness, the ego, the superficial individual, which believes itself to be the willing agent and knower, or the passive sufferer, of deeds and experience. But the inner sphere is the real self, unknown to the conscious ego. For the latter is the temporary disguise or dream of the former, and the real Self would not only be unafraid of entering into dreams of intense suffering; it would all the time be experiencing the process as delight and bliss, as an eternal game of hide-and-seek." - Alan Watts.

“Take the whole thing as a beautiful game. Seriousness is a disease.”
- Osho.

“’I am Spirit. When I incarnated in this body, I voluntarily and purposefully forgot this in order to give myself this opportunity to rediscover it. I am Spirit, playing hide-and-seek with myself. My agreement was that once I knew this, the game would be over. I now know it and declare the game finished. I incarnated under these rules so that I could enjoy discovering my true nature. I am Spirit.’”
- Serapis (channelled through Tony Stubbs, An Ascension Handbook, p.97, The Book Guild Ltd, Sussex, U.K., 1991).

What do you do if people are bent on harassing or hurting you? Do you accept it? Escape from it? Fight back? Take revenge later on? Forgive? Surrender? The poet and satirist Alexander Pope (1688-1744) wrote, famously, “To err is human; to forgive, divine.’ I prefer, “To err is human; to win, divine” but I associate the saying with the truth that the atma - God - always succeeds.

This is not a book about humanity as a whole, although it does, in many ways, relate to issues common to all. It is ‘about’ sensitive, refined people who are learning to deal with those who prefer to live selfishly. Imagine a geek living in a flat with a psychopath in the flat upstairs. If you are a gentle, perhaps shy, perhaps nervous, person you may not really comprehend the language of brute force. ‘Rough justice’ might be out of bounds for you. You might respect the law and wish everyone could live in harmony. If you are somewhat ‘nerdy’ or sensitive you probably are not all that physical and would only resort to a display of physical violence as a last resort and providing it was within your capacity to hold your own in a fight with someone more physically aggressive. Generally speaking, human beings are becoming less physical and relying more on their minds in many areas of life today. We are learning to use our superior intelligence - and intuition, and even psychic and spiritual power - to meet the challenges of surviving in this world, of standing up for ourselves and getting on with our lives and discovering and expressing our life’s purpose. In the meantime, life might sometimes be broken down into carnivores versus vegetarians, coarse versus refined energies!

”The cure for overcoming fear in people involves empowering them, and one effective way to empower someone is to teach the person other ways to respond in fight or flight situations…For someone learning to deal with difficult people, empowering involves learning multiple ways to respond and developing a way of thinking about possibilities that breaks the cycle of having expectations that dreadful things might happen.” - Betty Perkins (Lion Taming. The courage to deal with difficult people including yourself, Tzedakah Publications, CA., U.S., 1995, p.40).

Isn’t it funny when you discover that the apparently helpless mice have been experimenting on you all along?

You are at a disadvantage if you are a sensitive person with a conscience and have attracted or been sent (by the Lords of Karma or whoever) a less evolved, less sensitive enemy: thugs, basically! What if you are a deeply caring individual and would not wish to harm anyone? You simply mean to persuade them to leave you alone and cease their torment and intimidation. Yet, your tormentors will never leave you alone and, for as long as you have to live or work with them, you must deal with the situation. You must stay in one piece physically, mentally and emotionally, yet you must also put down deeper roots in terms of your consciousness and draw on your inner strength, build your stamina and develop greater wisdom.

When people live next door to each other, physical violence is, really, out of the question, whether one would be the victor or not. There is, at least, all the more reason to seek (and exhaust if necessary) non-violent ways to resolve the conflict because the proximity between neighbours and the frequency of clashes (and just as you’re trying to relax at home) is going to keep that wound from closing. Living next to nutters may require every morsel of resourcefulness we can muster because, really, extreme violence is probably the only thing that would work effectively and then we would be forever be watching our backs. So, when I say ‘extreme violence,’ I really mean murder! And I am not recommending going down that path of course! It is so completely out of the question that we must settle for the subtler strategies and coping mechanisms available to us. Nevertheless, this realisation is a valuable one. Once we reach the point of contemplating murder, as with contemplating our own suicide, we must arrive at a decision: either we’re going to do it or we’re not. And, if we’re not, then it serves no purpose to continue such a meaningless exercise. We’d be better off propping ourselves up with something more practical (like a walking stick!). When one engages in physical violence, one sets in motion a chain reaction, a chain of physical reactions. Being in the same vicinity day after day, eventually the conflict may escalate into an all-out war and is then likely to involve other people, including the police. I have met several people who have either moved away in such circumstances or say that they would move, yet moving away is often harder than changing jobs in order to get away from someone (particularly when ‘dollars’ are scarce). I was very close to buying a small house in the middle of a forest at some point. However, I eventually realised that the venture was simply too risky since I had as little job security as ever. In addition, I cannot rely on working for others but only on fulfilling my own individual purpose whether funded or not.

“There is nothing about you or your life that is not tailored, by your Higher Self, to achieve that which you have set out to achieve...Your tolerances for the incarnation can appear to be overwhelmed for short periods of time...The means by which you cope will be your own. To you, or to others, they may look like limitations or weaknesses, but they are far from that. Whatever means you use to cope with periods of pronounced stress, they are there for a reason, despite any societally-based values superimposed upon them. Some of you resort to medicating your selves - legally or illegally. You may immerse yourself in religion, alternative spiritual ventures, business or work activities, new relationships, family life, recreational pursuits, or whatever it is that brings you temporary comfort and relief. You may get stuck for periods of time in any one of these avenues of coping, be it bingo or new age spirituality. In your life, there is a deep, mystical purpose to all perceived weaknesses or less than socially-approvable coping means. Even your own self-approval or self-disapproval will fulfil the purposes of the larger process of your transformation.” - Ksceondra El Hara (

So, this situation is very special in that it challenges us to seek less direct and, therefore, less violent methods of dealing with conflict. I have tried everything I can think of to deter my neighbours from being so selfish and bloody-minded and from expressing such hostility towards me. No doubt, it is a reminder to release tension, frustration and anger, whatever is buried deep within and needs an outlet. This is something that has come to my attention as I approach Monstaville’s completion [Retrospective note: In reality, unbeknown to me, I was just getting started!]. As for creating one’s own reality, my neighbours’ aggression is not a reaction to something I am thinking, feeling or expressing at the time but a permanent reaction to my very presence here, my entire resonance which challenges the very fabric of their existence, much as the Arab world has, to date, permanently refused to accept the presence of Israel as a close neighbour. I also believe, personally, that is the very reason why Israel needs to be there (not that I am condoning Israel’s Zionist economic and military muscle and bullying antics in Gaza and the West Bank [1] and also, on a collective level, why I have been living where I am for over a decade. It’s like a subliminal act of defiance in the face of oppressive forces in our society – with whom, perhaps, I have battled in previous lives as well. Such mutual hostility is surely rooted in the distant past and violence cannot be quelled while both sides are at each other’s throats. A fresh perspective is required. Someone has to change and start playing a different tune. I cannot see that any changes taking place within myself will ever alter my situation, unless it manifests the money required for me to move! But, then, perhaps there is synchronicity between finally withdrawing from the battlefield (but keeping a few grenades in my pocket), setting my own house in order spiritually and also receiving an opportunity to move.

“The Golden Age will require disciplined minds and clear emotions, attitudes of non-violence,” states Jeshua. “Use nothing in your body which puts you out of control of your peaceful behaviour. Use nothing foreign as a substitute for a peaceful mind and loving heart.” (‘The Christ’ channelled through Virginia Essene, New Teachings For An Awakening Humanity, Spiritual Education Endeavours Publishing Company, Santa Clara, CA., U.S., 1986, updated 1994, p.120). What is needed, it appears, is for us to work on ourselves and mature internally – emotionally and spiritually, “healing ourselves of negative beliefs and emotions” (ibid., p.198) – as opposed to giving our energy to external circumstances and losing sight of our inner selves. “Stop this insanity and listen to reason and love,” Jeshua counsels. “Cleanse your emotional attitude. Give up negativity, war and violent thoughts.” (ibid. p.125). More reminiscent of the Jedi Code than the Ten Commandments I feel. Keeping the Force in balance, “involved the purging of negative emotions such as aggression, anger and hatred, since they could easily bring on acceptance of the dark side. In contrast, positive emotions such as compassion and courage nurtured the light side of the Force.” (

Yoda: Yes, run! Yes, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan's apprentice.
Luke: Vader...Is the dark side stronger?
Yoda: No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.
Luke: But how am I to know the good side from the bad?
Yoda: You will know... when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defence, never for attack.
- Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (directed by Irvin Kershner, 1980).

This, as with subsequent volumes of Monstaville, is not a book about suffering and victimhood but one that uses these experiences as focal points to explore the depths of the soul, to dive in and retrieve some priceless pearls of wisdom to enrich both my own life and that of others. I eventually found myself swimming alongside beings of Light who smiled as I struggled because they have long since woken up from this dream. They offered their inspiration much as the Immortals (departed geniuses such as Mozart and Goethe) shone their Light on Harry Haller’s despair. They blessed him with their silent laughter in the Magic Theatre, revealing the eternal joy into which he was being birthed through his Dark Night of the Soul. Hermann Hesse, explaining that his novel Steppenwolf is, of all his books, “the one that has been more often and more seriously misunderstood than any other,” writes that some people, both young and old, while enthusiastic about it, could only see half of its subject. Those who were old enough to relate to a “man of fifty and dealing with the problems of that time of life,” identified with the Steppenwolf (the wolf on the Steppes, the tormented, isolated man who is disillusioned with the world and whose nature is split between spiritual and suicidal), “shared his sorrows and dreams, and in doing so quite overlooked the other things the book recognises and talks about besides Harry Haller and his difficulties.” Hesse continues: “There rises over the Steppenwolf  and his problematical life a second, higher, immortal world, and the ‘Treatise’ and all those passages in the book that have to do with the spirit, with art, and with the ‘Immortals’ set against the passionate world of the Steppenwolf a positive, cheerful, suprapersonal, and supratemporal world of faith. The book, to be sure, describes sorrows and suffering, but it is by no means the book of a man in despair but rather of a man of faith.” The story, “though it describes an illness and a crisis,” he concludes, “does not describe one that leads to death or decline but rather the opposite – to recovery.” (‘Postscript to Steppenwolf,’ 1941, My Belief, Panther Books, Herts, U.K., 1974, p.215-216).

What you are about to read is a collection of entries from a four-year spiritual journal I kept during a crisis of consciousness in response to what were, for me, very challenging circumstances. What we have here is the ugly parts of my otherwise more attractive and fulfilling spiritual studies and meditations. I have, however, included some information on Ascension, accelerated energy and collective spiritual awakening. The reason for this is that, as I was re-emerging from my own cocoon at the time of completing these books, so did the Light start shining with greater intensity on the planet. The influx of divine energy is causing pressure for everyone to release emotional blockages in order to move into their ‘Light bodies.’ The drawbridge is being raised and we must choose whether we wish to be free from fear and oppression or enter the joy and abundance of the new vibrations, the new reality, on Earth. [2]

“Everyone on Earth is deciding now, on some level, whether they choose to align with that Divine order and so ascend to the 5th dimension or if they wish to continue their learning in the 3rd dimension. Third dimensional learning involves experiencing many different situations to help teach us greater wisdom and love...Living positively creates a high level of vibration. Negative patterns, such as fear, create a lower vibration.” - Sandy Stevenson (‘Is Ascension really happening?’ 9 September 2007,

Indeed, unbeknown to me at the time, my own accelerated growth, as well as everyone else’s, during this monstrous decade has been related to a collective leap in consciousness. The planetary Ascension process (which commenced several decades ago) has been accelerating rapidly since the 2008 Winter Solstice. These next few years leading up to 2012 represent a >great cleansing= that is purging all that does not resonate with the Light, clearing the heart of humanity so that the Light of the Source can shine through. For, that is all that darkness is: an absence of light caused by some experiential obstacle or mental distraction. This is an opportunity for accelerated growth, a door that is opening to permanent joy and serenity if we choose to enter through it. Support and encouragement as well as information regarding status of our Ascension in relation to the collapsing systems of the world is being offered from various sources beyond our physical world through channelled transmissions on a daily basis. I have included some of the new insights, perspectives and tips available through these teachings in the pages of this book. I am confident that the treasures and trials conveyed in and around my story are timely offerings and that this subject is of greater urgency than the books I have postponed. Naturally, since we are all graduating from the School of Earth now simply by choice as this journey ends and another begins, they resemble fruit ripening on a tree, fruit that I am now releasing and wish to share. [See Appendix VIII: ‘To give the highest of you is to receive the highest for you’].

“The next few years leading to 2012 will be at super warp speed. There will be some curves and passes along the way but the proposed destination will be reached...If you keep your hearts open, your minds free, and your creativity activated you will find that the New Earth will be at your fingertips.” - Mira, from the Pleiadian High Council (channelled through Valerie Donner on 7 April 2009,  

It is still early days, but the Spiritual Sun is now peering over the horizon and the dawn of a new Golden Age has arrived. And, it is time to decide which world we want to live in, whether to hold on to the old world, the status quo of control, conformity, ignorance and the stressful and shallow existence that we are conditioned to accept or even believe in or embrace the new one and open each and every petal of potential within ourselves that has been neglected over the course of many lifetimes for want of deep communion with the Sun. A completely different energy is emerging on an inner level, encouraging us to open up spiritually and live from the inside out, as the divine beings we are, with love and pure intent at our core, from a place of passion and peace, rather than identifying with external conditions with but a slither of attention and awareness of who we really are and can be. Before we can open our hearts to feel greater love and compassion flowing freely through us and raise our consciousness through the Light of true Being, however, there is a process of “integrating and embracing the Dark polarity,” as Jelaila Starr puts it.

“As energy increases on the planet, blocks in your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies are magnified. Unexpressed feelings and ideas create obstacles to the flow of energy whose purpose it is to connect you. You must help the process by being responsible for who you are. Whenever you have a prejudice or difficulty – ‘I don’t want to know that,’ ‘I hate this about myself,’ ‘I don’t like that’ – you can trust that the magnifying glass will be put over it. You will squeal and squirm until you get it right. And, if you don’t, you will manifest the block in the form of a difficult challenge. Everything is intensifying in order to teach people about responsibility and maintaining a clarity of purpose and intent.” – The Pleiadians (Earth: Pleiadian Keys to the Living Library by Barbara Marciniak, Bear & Company, NM., U.S., 1994).

‘Self-reflection is the tool of wisdom.’ I needed to keep this journal both as therapy and a learning process because I was fighting wars on a mental level and it was in my favour that way really. I was not having to fend off gangs of bandits like the Man With No Name or something! The significance of this series of books rests in the fact that, although we live in a comparatively ‘civilised’ society, the law does not prevent, or protect us from, every instance of undisciplined behaviour or, indeed, savagery. The pros and cons of proliferating CCTV cameras notwithstanding, we would not want the law to encroach on every aspect of our lives. There must be a balance between control and freedom and it is not just individual responsibility that society needs to be able to rely on but also collective wisdom. In addition, we need a sense of social cohesion resulting from increased awareness in as many individuals as possible. This kind of awareness is passed on through like-minded people and, potentially, through the media, well through books like this at least.

“Your fear is born because you do not know what is occurring, so it is a destructive fear. It is a fear that cannot empower you or give you the perception that you need to comprehend what is occurring within your world. If you can become informed, then fear is transformed into concern and concern is transformed into constructive action.” - Marshall Vian Summers (The Allies of Humanity. Book One, The Society for the Greater Community Way of Knowledge, Boulder, CO, U.S., p.44).

One might suggest that our home is a more feminine battleground in which emotions are affected more than anything. The tension is more long-term, often with small skirmishes developing into bitter feuds. It is not something one can sort out immediately and, as I have found, short-term resolutions resurface unless selfish people learn something and change. Learning in this way is more subtle and involved. One needs to know, to be aware of, certain things. Perhaps it also prepares one for face-to-face confrontations in terms of how one needs to feel and think; that is, half of one’s success in such encounters, at least, comes from psychological development and understanding at home and in one’s neighbourhood. This is less visible but may go on for years. I believe it that this indirect, non-physical arena of conflict is often, potentially, better handled by women than men.

“It’s extremely important that people get out of the stuck-in-the-mud, narrow-view frame of mind. I can tell you that, over the last 17 to 18 years that I’ve been doing research, I’ve discovered that our normal, everyday concept of reality is an illusion. It is a manipulation, in most instances, of the power structure in this country and the world to keep us ignorant, so we won’t know what the truth is.” – Bill Cooper (Behold a Pale Horse, DVD, presentation by the late UFO/Global Elite Researcher in the 1990s).

To me, political correctness is an extreme which stifles truth and liberty and does not lead to equality (other than in sheep). I find it fearful and divisive whereas freedom of expression is unifying in that everyone speaks their truth (because we are all unique expressions of one Creator God who his Himself a unique expression of another Creator God, and so on, and so on, in a multidimensional Universe to which the Goddess gave birth…or something). Of course we are all different and have many facets to our personalities, and that is one layer of truth. But, people who fear being labelled or stereotyped, and who take offence at the very mention of qualities shared with others, are often in denial regarding more general, collective characteristics. Such anxiety and insecurity exists, I believe, because ‘victims’ are not as confident and self-aware as perhaps they might be. They tend to care too much about what others think. We all have our weaknesses. There are cultural and gender influences. Deal with it. But we’re not moving back to the opposite extreme of (patriarchal) pride, persecution and bigotry which probably gave rise to this equally ridiculous and threatening trend in the first place. Political correctness is possibly derived from a fear of being judged because everyone wants to be treated the same way: fairly. We all want to make sure of that. We are all equals. However, this does not mean there is going to be harmony between everyone. Personal and cultural differences may or may not clash. Where they do, solutions need to be found in terms of our own awareness and attitude more than anything else.

“I live in Truth. And I have my being in Truth. I live by saying what is in my Heart.” – Ancient Egyptian Inscription.

So, now that statement is out of the way…’Consciousness,’ whether you can cope with archetypes and the generalisations that relate to them as layers of truth, is, from my perspective, a more female domain and one which men are therefore more likely to struggle with and, of course, need to pay attention to in order to integrate this side of themselves. By consciousness, I mean ‘mind’ generally, pretty much all of it (and as an infinite whole), but certainly excluding the rational intellect which is more a tool for the physical ego to employ than part of it. [3] Of course there are manipulative men and aggressive women too. Men are often expected to be insensitive and unaffected by more psychological types of conflict, and often expect themselves to be immune to mental or emotional disturbances. And, indeed, to some degree, this may be the case for many men, or in certain situations. This can also mean, however, that we tend to underestimate people’s effect on us. We might ignore behaviour which we deem insignificant and believe ought not to affect us. Yet, over time, even subtle irritation or annoyance can produce a state of paralysis, depression or fits of rage.

I know one man, who teaches a martial art, who gave up trying to ask the woman living in the flat above him to stop walking around in shoes. She was coming home from work at 4 a.m. in the morning and hoovering was one of her favourite activities to engage in at that time. He asked her politely to stop and she did for a week but then started again. She never paid any attention to his requests and he tried to soundproof his own flat but it was not sufficient to block out the noise. One day, he stormed upstairs, banged on the door and told her angrily to stop waking him up. If she continued, he said, he would break her door down. The woman then sent her brother round to see him and they had a chat. The brother said that she was entitled to make a lot of noise at 4 a.m. When he finally announced that there would be trouble if he complained again, my acquaintance just said ‘Get out.’ By then, however, he hated her anyway, he says, and just any noise she made at any time wound him up. In the end, defeated, he felt obliged to move out for his own sanity and peace of mind when an opportunity arose (which luckily, in his case, it did!).

Another guy had a group of Eastern Europeans living in the flat above he shared with his girlfriend. The flats were relatively new yet the walls, like mine, were very thin. They could hear everything up there he says. They were often woken up at 1 a.m. when they came home. And they could hear everything in the hallway and on the stairs, too. As a result of all this they moved out. People cannot stay in places like this for too long not it dives them mad! In another flat, this same guy had what he calls a ‘chav girl’ living in the flat above them. She had a baby and they could hear everything, their names, every word. An example he gave was hearing the young mother telling her baby off for getting cornflakes on the floor. The guy’s wife used to bang on the ceiling with a broom handle, shouting at them to keep the noise down. They moved from there as soon as they could as well. Naturally, in rough areas, conditions are often worse than I have experienced here. It appears to be customary for the ‘victims’ to simply move out should they be unlucky in the quality of their neighbour(s).

Unfortunately, I have not been in a situation financially to do that. Also, I needed to be in London for my tai chi classes during the time when I could have afforded to move out. I also knew that if I moved I would want to get away from London altogether and that moving somewhere else in London itself would mean paying a higher rent and/or living in a less presentable flat (and I already spent more than I could afford furnishing and decorating this place, and have everything I need here; and I have strong tastes and a unique style).

Life supplies the carrots and sticks for such a process of self-discovery: it is, essentially, the Higher Self who arranges the situation, or contest, and brings the personality into contact with the personalities of suitable players (themselves needing certain experiences and lessons for their own growth). This might resemble a boxing match between egos or a chess game involving all levels of oneself: Higher Self (the inner power of the multidimensional queen, the higher purpose of the king), ego (the specific, outer actions of the reactive frontline, the bishops, knights and castles) and the soul (the more sensitive, open, vulnerable and temporal defences and responses of the pawns).

As with martial arts, there are soft (inner) and hard (outer) styles of dealing with psychological bullying and intimidation tactics. In the soft approach much of the internal work is on oneself: adapting, learning and growing, developing further strength and wisdom, patience, intent and strategy. It is a matter of shifting energy through the field of consciousness. This is, no doubt, something people need to be doing, especially in the West, if social harmony is to prevail under modern pressures. Obviously, if there were no walls or ceilings separating me from my neighbours these conflicts I have experienced would have led to all kinds of direct aggression. Direct confrontation would have been unavoidable; a full-scale scrap or something! It would be an impossible situation.

“Breakdowns can create breakthroughs. Things fall apart so things can fall together.” - Anon.

Breakdown and breakthrough may share the same meaning as depicted in the Chinese ideogram for ‘crisis,’ wei-chi (weiji). According to Alice Bailey, “’A crisis is brought about by a certain habit of mind; it's the establishing of a certain objective, external rhythm which produces a crisis and it is the emergence of a subjective, spiritual rhythm which alone will enable us to surmount the crisis and to capitalise on the opportunity presented.’ (Esoteric Astrology, p. 475). Simplifying and summarising this process we can say in short-hand that a problem can never be solved on the same level at which it was created.” ( Apparently, ‘wei’ can be taken to mean ‘danger’ and ‘chi’ to mean ‘opportunity’ (at least this word has become popularly associated with it). Danger can be an opportunity for change, for growth and transformation, for shedding the old and starting anew; death and rebirth. John F. Kennedy once said, in a famous speech (the one that, ironically, sealed his assassination), “The Chinese word for crisis, ‘wei-chi,’ literally means ‘dangerous opportunity.’ When faced with an ostensible crisis, a pessimist will see inescapable danger. An optimist however, will search deeper and find within it a concealed yet encouraging opportunity." [See AppendixII for a related Barefoot Doctor column].

Mark Amaru Pinkham: I have noticed that some seekers are sometimes caught up in one crisis or another and seem to be without any inner peace for most of their lives…

The Goddess: You must know that this happens when a person desires to take the ‘fast track’ to Me. On some level they have made the commitment to work through their blocks to freedom in a hurry. But think of this: A crisis denotes confusion, anxiety, a sense that all might be lost, does it not? If someone has put all their trust in Me, he or she knows I will always take care of them. A crisis can never exist for such a person. They find security and inner peace in their faith.”

- From Conversations with the Goddess by Mark Amaru Pinkham, Adventures Unlimited Press, IL, U.S. 1999, p.153).

Challenging situations are opportunities for growth. Crisis is an opportunity to evolve by overcoming a habitual pattern of thought and behaviour and replacing it with a deeper, wiser orientation. Indeed, a space is opened up in which to remember, potentially, our true Self. A new purpose may be born in difficult circumstances. Perilous situations may either portend death or a new lease of life. One can evolve further only by settling this deep matter within oneself. Or, rather, in regard to the last hexagram of the I Ching, completion is not possible until an obstacle is overcome. Wei refers to the fruit on a tree that is about to ripen. Ji refers to a river that one needs to cross. We must tap into deeper reserves of energy in order to prosper and enjoy the potential abundance and success. Failing to do so would mean abandoning the harvest. Yet, we have come so far that there is really no turning back and no real choice. The lesson within a crisis brings great distress but it has to in order to compel a deeper response, a mammoth effort, to achieve completion. It is, in other words, a spiritual initiation, a little like a graduation after a period of learning and preparation. A critical moment is reached at the end of a long process of initiation in a dark tunnel.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): This is a crisis, a large crisis. In fact, if you’ve got a moment, it is a twelve-storey crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeted throughout; twenty-four hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying, ‘This is a Large Crisis.’ And a large crisis requires a large plan. Get me a ruler, two pencils and a pair of underpants.
- Blackadder Goes Forth (Series 4, Episode 6, Goodbyeee,’ written by Richard Curtis and Ben Elton, BBC TV, 1989).

I perceive the word ‘crisis’ contained in ‘chrysalis’ and understand that, likewise, a period of darkness is followed by an opportunity to rise anew into the Light, as a colourful, elegant being who is free to choose which flowers it wishes to alight upon. As ascended, angelic, multidimensional humans we will consciously choose our purpose and experiences according to our intent and change our reality in accordance with our innermost joy and desire when we wish to move on, always expressing more of our potential and always evolving to greater Light. The snake’s old skin is on the brink of being shed but the final point of letting go of it (of the ego) might meet with the most resistance. And, so, a heavy experience might be the only chance for finally saying goodbye to it and embracing the new, finally giving birth to a higher level of consciousness, a new state of being. Some part of us dies as a result of despair and, so, space is created for inner richness to be felt, to enter our conscious awareness and complete our self-awareness. According to Stephen Karcher, this term reveals the truth that “each end is a new beginning…We are on the riverbank, gathering the force to cross. We are preparing the food. We are in the world of potential, the season when fruits ripen…we are poised at the entrance, preparing for transition, readying ourselves to embark on the journey.” (Total I Ching. Myths for Change, Time Warner Books, New York, U.S., 2003, p.434).

In the case of fruit, of course, the last traces of hardness and bitterness are transformed into greater softness and sweetness. In terms of human consciousness, attachment to the finite ego is surrendered fully, and the individual is reborn into the spiritual realm, offering the flavour and nutrition that the cosmic community welcomes. The lower is sacrificed for the higher; illusion dies and reality is realised. This does not detract from the horror that this critical juncture may represent. Death is at hand and rebirth hasn’t happened yet. At this stage, victory is probably imminent but anticipating celebration might be furthest from one’s mind in view of the situation at hand even if one acknowledges this wisdom that life follows the transition of death, that danger can spark an opportunity for growth towards completion and a spark of confidence and faith is ignited deep within.

“Almost all crises are the emotion we experience in facing some form of death. It may be the expanding materialism of the ‘would be’ particle state that’s dying, or it could be the death of a rhythm or routine we’re used [to], or perhaps it’s the death of a relationship or an opportunity, as well as obvious threats to life. It’s the death of things that frightens people. That’s why the ego discriminates against change even if that change is beneficial, for normalcy is the social externalisation of the ego’s desire for itself. It is sold as holy and good, and offered as solid proof of the ego’s power. Any change to the rhythm is viewed with great suspicion.” - Stuart Wilde (Whispering Winds of Change. Perceptions of a New World, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA., U.S., 1993, p.215-216).

A crisis opens space for something new and higher to enter. We let go of parts of ourselves, like sand bags dropped over the side of a hot-air balloon to free us up so we can move up higher in our consciousness (indeed, ‘karma’ might be described in terms of density that we deliberately create to weigh ourselves down, and anchor us in the dream of life, so that we can experience the journey of upward ascent as we balance the scales by releasing these ego attachments, the weight of which separates us – experientially - from the oneness of God/Goddess. I was explaining to someone recently that, when you are pushed to the edge of a cliff, psychologically, two things occur. One is that you are strengthened by your struggle to survive, to live, and the other is that part of you no longer cares if you fall over the edge. If it is going to happen and there is nothing you can do about it, having done your best, then so be it. This does not mean surrendering to fate entirely but having the wisdom to let go when there is nothing you can do about it, knowing what is not in your power to control. It represents the death and transformation of the ego, releasing certain psychological patterns in order to move on into a deeper feeling of peace and, in fact, power. Carrying too much baggage will only serve to hasten the fall, so one must lighten the load.

"Come to the edge, he said.
They said, 'We are afraid.'
Come to the edge, he said.
They came. He pushed them.
...and they flew.”
- Guillaume Apollinaire.

“When we walk to the edge of all the light we have, and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on…or we will be taught to fly.”
- Frank Outlaw.

“Leap and the net will appear.”
– Zen saying.

“I am not afraid that I will lose my footing and fall but that I’ll abandon all law and fly off the proper edge to unpardonable acts of levity.”
– Miriam Dyak.

Some people might suggest that this is somewhat biased towards a man’s point of view. I doubt if there is any harm in that since, with all the books for women by women on how to cope with modern life, relatively few authors appear to have fully addressed the needs and concerns of the sensitive man. "No one enjoys feeling weak,” observes Charles Stanley, “whether it is emotionally, spiritually or physically. There is something within the human spirit that wants to resist the thought of weakness. Many times this is nothing more than our human pride at work. Just as weakness carries a great potential for strength, pride carries an equally great potential for defeat." ( 

It is one thing to offer advice on how to defend oneself from physical violence using martial techniques but what if the threat is not physical or if that threat leads to encounters with other menacing behaviour? What if settling a feud with violence is not even possible? What if physical posturing and being alert and aware are, for one reason or another, ineffectual methods of deterring prolonged psychological assault? If dealing with enmity from others in a physical manner is not a realistic option for you, either by choice or not, then you have peeled the onion and are examining the layers beneath: the layers of your consciousness. It is inside yourself that you must find answers and solutions to your problems. These can become available to you through quiet reflection and meditation. They can also result from boldly and spontaneously taking action. If your intention is to do the right thing, to not to revel egotistically in defeating your enemy, just settle the dispute, inspiration can arrive accompanied by a compelling feeling to act, perhaps in a much more assertive manner than you are used to. Indeed, you are accessing a part of yourself, a tool, that you have not exercised but which is needed. It is ‘not you,’ yet it most definitely is you in that you are expressing latent potential within yourself in order to order to deal with bullies. Who knows, perhaps you are becoming more balanced and complete in the process as your destiny unfolds and you respond to life’s challenges.

“Bullying involves the psychological, emotional, social or physical harassment of one person by another. It includes behaviours and actions that are verbal, physical and/or antisocial, such as exclusion, gossip, aggressive body language and sexual harassment.
                For children it can occur at school or on the way to and from school. The nature and extent of the bullying can vary from direct to indirect harassment, from minor irritation to major assault, from ‘just having a bit of fun’ to breaking the law. Bullying can happen sporadically or over a long period of time.
                Bullying is a subjective concept. The crucial feature is that the victim feels powerless and perceives themselves as having been bullied. The critical issue is the extent of physical, psychological and other damage the victim incurs. The impact of bullying on the victim is further exacerbated by the fear or threat of future attacks.
                ...teasing, exclusion and harassment are all varying forms of violence. They are part of the same continuum. The difference lies in the degree of intent to hurt the victim, the frequency, and the amount of physical, emotional, intellectual and social damage.”
                - Evelyn M. Field (Bully Busting. How To Help Children Deal With Teasing and Bullying, Finch Publishing Pty Limited, Australia, 1999, p.17-18).

In a so-called ‘democracy’ like Britain, in which we rely on the law for justice and protection, we must learn to express our power intelligently and wisely. The police are supposed to be there to find out who the troublemakers are and keep a close eye on them, preventing harassment and intimidation among other ‘crimes.’ However, it is clear that this net does not catch or deter many of those selfish and aggressive members of our society who wish others harm. Those people are ignorant, leading insular lives, afraid of the unknown, of change, of broadening their horizons. They have not experienced enough in life because they lack the emotional depth to accommodate unfamiliar social, cultural conditions. They hide and resist, fear and deny. They keep to their own kind and tolerate others at arm’s length having dismissed them as invalid.

“Growth hurts because change isn't easy, that's why they call it growing pains.” - Tony Gaskins.

All that energy squeezed into a limited definition of being increases their feelings of self-righteousness and self-importance. It is intoxicating, like a shot of whiskey as opposed to infinite love and compassion when even the large glass for containing juice or water is dropped. Individual identity is completed through the path of individuation which amounts to increasing our self-awareness beyond the confines of the worldly ego and realising our innermost layer of being, our Self. The separate physical ego resembles the tip of a dragon’s tail, the part with least control, which moves in the most instinctive manner according to the movements and intentions of the dragon as a whole. The situation for we human beings is that the tip of the tail, one body of many (the lowest and most temporal physical frequency), has forgotten that it is part of a great dragon. Indeed, the purpose of incarnation is to awaken those parts of us which have remained stubbornly unconscious for many lives (learning to respond with a higher vibration rather than fear or anger-based negative reaction is the most persistent lesson for human beings, I've concluded; at least, it appears to be in my case). Hence, it is no accident that ‘life,’ in Her wisdom, guides us away from our attachment to the domain that is familiar to us until we become centred in our spirits as unique expressions of Creative Being, as powerful individuals who have spread their wings and risen above collective dependency, above subconscious fear, and been reborn in conscious confidence, faith and love.

It is as though the dragon, the whole Self, were taking a bath in a lagoon somewhere having decided to leave only the end of its tail on dry land in the Sun to energise that part of itself. The dragon is allowing that part of itself to experience life on its own, to struggle, to live a separate individual existence and to grow. Finally, the tip learns the ultimate lesson. It realises that all its encounters with its immediate environment, both pleasant and unpleasant, were illusions in the sense that it deemed itself to be a tiny, vulnerable creature stranded in a fixed physical environment. As it becomes more and more self-aware it realises that it is much, much more than a single point of consciousness. Not only is it multidimensional, but the dragon of consciousness does indeed have a head, an ‘identity’ so-to-speak, a portion of the mind of God, an expression of Creative Being. And it is this Divine Self that each part of the dragon must realise in order for the whole dragon to move and express its purpose consciously and therefore with increasing power. All the while, the dragon sleeps, watches, guides and encourages, smiling continuously with love. The tail functions best through feeling but has received the gift of intellect in order to quicken its conscious awareness. Alas, it often also identifies with this tool when its purpose is to connect to and resonate with the conscious reason and objective will of the dragon, residing in its head.

The ancient art of strategy to resolve or contain conflicts is as relevant to psychological warfare today as it has ever been to physical combat. And the wisdom of patiently rising above such assaults when possible is equally pertinent.

Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living” (to which Mark Twain once added: “but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all"). The French novelist Sidonie Gabrielle Colette (1873-1954) counselled, “Look for a long time at what pleases you, and a longer time at what pains you.” Oscar Wilde observed, “Thought is wonderful but adventure is more wonderful still.” Then, again, Robert Frost said, “In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.” I should myself further note that life also appears pretty pointless unless it is lived intensely: passionately, consciously, purposefully, courageously, playfully and intelligently. Which surely calls for a few quotes from Helen Keller (a friend of Mark Twain), who overcame lifelong blindness and deafness (caused by a brain fever during infancy) to write books, teach, travel all over the world and campaign for various progressive causes (not to mention counting many famous people as friends and meeting 12 U.S. presidents). The American Foundation for the Blind observes that, “Helen became an exceptional leader, once she saw the potential in her own mind.” Although we may endure unpleasant ordeals, carry the burden of material hardship or suffer from physical defects, it is still possible to know our own minds and express our unique potential to live a very rich and fulfilling life. Indeed, when our physical and material lives are fraught with handicaps, we ought not to regard it as the end of the world but to accept the invitation to open other doors and meet the challenge of unveiling our higher purpose. They can be blessings in disguise, while others seem to sail through life never bothering to notice or delve into the deeper layers of their consciousness which is where our inner treasure lies. A few quotations from Helen Keller (1880 to 1968):

“I'm not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”

“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.”

'Reaper' by K D Johnston
Having endured a decade of neighbour hell, I thought I would share my insights with you. I kept a kind of journal for a few years and this thread of thoughts relating to my ordeals developed, outgrowing the journal itself. After a few years of living here I bought some Angel Cards - the ‘old-fashioned’ ones by Kathy Tyles which bear a single word of guidance. I made my own ones while I was in India for people to use on the training course in which I participated. They were then used in healing centres in which I was involved. I have used the original cards on a daily basis ever since acquiring them. I find them to be a very useful means of basic communication with my Higher Self (or whatever energy selects which card I turn over), not always, but most of the time. It is a simple oracle and I find that they require a certain familiarity through frequent use as well as understanding and intuition. I mention this because some of these insights are included in my journal entries.

As a friend told me recently, it is always a good idea to get on with your neighbours if possible. You are spending an awful lot of time in their proximity. He suggested reasoning with them. My neighbours, however, are not the kind of people who are open to (or even capable of) reasoning. Selfish, aggressive, militant, nasty neighbours...they are not interested in keeping the peace, although they have at times (under pressure). No, they want to force me to move away. They are trying...very trying!

“Religion is for people afraid of going to Hell. Spirituality is for people who have already been there.” - Bonnie Raitt.

Much of the contemplation in this book, however, relates to the period in which a grotesque beast lived upstairs. He was there for a couple of years - after holding me at knife-point one day and threatening to kill me. After all, as Hermann Hesse points out in Steppenwolf, “every man takes the sufferings that fall to his share as the greatest”!

I have had no choice but to deal with all of these experiences as best I could, with a little help from my own capacity to reflect and understand and through studying some Buddhist and Daoist texts. The former tend to emphasise the practice of one divine quality at a time (for a day, week, or another period, including permanently), which is an expression of the (patriarchal) solar principle, Being and purpose. Daoism has its origins in a more feminine age (Lunar) and its practices are older and more shamanic, relating to transformative power and oneness with the universe as an infinite whole, nature in particular.

As an artist, as someone who is in the process of writing several books, I have turned my ordeal into a creative project. As such, it serves as a platform for greater self-expression and understanding. When we become deeply involved and absorbed in something, our understanding naturally increases and we discover a few pearls of wisdom that we never knew were hiding within us. Writing this book has been an opportunity to ‘study the studies,’ if you will, and bring my reflections up-to-date, to link the past with the present and then move forward. I would never have come this far - learned as much as I have about myself and paid attention to my emotional life - had I not decided to work on this book. It has served as a focus and as a reason for further exploration.

“Understanding brings appreciation and appreciation brings love.” – A Course in Miracles (Jeshua channelled through Dr. Helen Schucman, The Foundation for Inner Peace, CA., U.S., 1976).

One important change that has occurred within myself over the past 13 years has been the dawning of a strong sense of purpose, derived from working on my books. I consider this massive project that I have taken on to be my life’s work. Some say that we are what we do because we are always becoming more of ourselves through expressing our potential. Certainly, I have also derived more self-esteem, confidence and even faith from my purpose. Such qualities have afforded me the freedom of not being dependent on how others think and feel on a deeper level. Without this golden sanctuary, this temple even, I very much doubt I would have coped at all with living in this place. Indeed, I believe it is this power, as well as the Light coming and going in me through meditation and tai chi that all these people, unable to withstand exposure to higher vibrations because they are locked into their own shallow modus operandii and belief systems, have been unconsciously reacting to and attacking. Subconscious people want to drag everyone down to their level. The war has been between myself as a conscious individual and people from both similar and very different backgrounds but who share an affinity on this level.

When I mentioned the incident to my therapist a few years after it had taken place, she asked what I did with all my feelings. I explained that I studied and learned to let go and forget them, rise above them. She looked horrified and suggested that I had merely suppressed them. They had to go ‘somewhere,’ she explained. They were still inside me somewhere, no doubt contributing significantly to the physical problems I was experiencing, which had led to my needing therapy. She added that it was possible to achieve what I had aimed for but only after sorting out one’s emotions first - and I was (and still am) held back by problems from my childhood (for example, I suffer from some form of attention deficit thing like Billy Connolly although the psychiatric establishment has refused to go as far as defining it as such).

“Without trying to discover the Divinity that is in the human form, people are wasting their lives.” - Sai Baba.

The entries contained in this book are part of a spiritual journal and, consequently, many have a spiritual flavour; that is, they are interlaced with the spiritual studies and inspiration around which my life revolved at the time. Some of the entries have dates. Most were not dated when I wrote them. I have retained the original sequence but also grouped most of them together for easier reading. I have also added several ‘retrospective inserts.’ These are notes that I have collected in a folder since discontinuing the journals as well as insights that have emerged whilst writing everything up. Since this is not a journal of events, I have added in a few other quotes where I would have inserted them had I discovered them at the time. I believe this is referred to as ‘artistic licence.’ Most, however, I have given the title ‘Retrospective insert’ to indicate that they belong to a later period of time and, more importantly, a later stage of growth. The majority of these I have included in the earlier chapters in order to balance the book because my understanding matured over time and, in the early stages, I was mainly just expressing how I felt and trying to cope with the situation at hand, that is, living with a dangerous monster upstairs!

“I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.” – Groucho Marx.

I refer to my oppressor as ‘Pigsy’ throughout the journals. He resembled the big, ugly ‘pig monster’ in the 70s TV series Monkey which (having enjoyed it as a teenager) I had bought and watched on video as a box set a year or two earlier and, subsequently, watched again. I was studying tai chi with a Chinese teacher at the time and had learnt some mandarin and deepened my interest in ancient Chinese culture ad philosophy. I had also read Arthur Waley’s abridged version of the Chinese epic Journey to the West (attributed to Wu Ch'eng-en). The reference generated a degree of power and confidence in myself since I would like myself to Monkey himself, the bold, daring warrior whose magic and mastery made him somewhat invincible. Thus, it represented my faith in getting ahead of the game and defeating my enemy. It is all just therapy for surviving, growing stronger, wiser, and striving to cope and, ultimately, be on top of the situation. The series itself is rich in both humour and philosophy so what better way than to borrow a morsel of each to use as allies in my personal trials. Calling the bully ‘Pisgy’ gave a faint flavour of humour to the whole situation for me. What’s in a name? A monster is still a monster regardless (as a rose remains a rose according to Shakespeare). Names can be important and they can have a powerful effect on human beings, however, which is why bullies themselves use name-calling to belittle and provoke. This helped to lighten things a bit for two years!

“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.” - Albert Einstein.

“Act with confidence. The person who wins is usually the one who stays calm; the loser is usually the one who becomes upset and angry.” - Evelyn M. Field (Bully Busting. How To Help Children Deal With Teasing and Bullying, Finch Publishing Pty Limited, Australia, 1999, p.215).

“The GoldRing is the game of enlightenment and abundance.
It is a continuing process of role playing and to becoming an
Ascended Master, Teacher, Wayshower and follower of the higher path.

This game involves using the mind to overcome reaction and move into
creation. Each player is moving from a limited reacting Third Dimensional body
with a Fourth-Dimensional drama to a Fifth-Dimensional spirit engaged in a
multi-Dimensional reality. You begin the game where you are and the game of
enlightenment never ends as it is joy, expansion, health, wealth, wisdom
and love all rolled into one exciting and powerful creative life.

The Game of Enlightenment, the GoldRing is played every day;
all of the time and it involves the giving and receiving of cosmic energy
and the purification of alignment of the aura, and the chakras
of the self, the planet and the galaxy.

The Game begins anywhere you choose to start.

- Introduction to GoldRing, the Game of Enlightenment and Abundance (

They say that ‘a problem shared is a problem halved.’ I have lived here in relative isolation for a decade and have been my own confidante for the most part. My journal and subsequent studies and musings have been invaluable to me - as I hope they might prove to some of you. These are my experiences and these are my thoughts on the subject of slowly transforming – as opposed to suppressing - negative emotions, habitual responses and unconscious reactions into the creative expression of conscious love and power. As with all my writing, I consider it ‘art’: it is not designed to provide answers - but inspiration. As this series of books unfolds, with the new energetic of the planet arriving in January 2009, I endeavour to maintain a high vibration throughout my personal encounters, setting foot on a new path, potentially unfolding fifth-dimensional potential of love and oneness. Monstaville, then, is a starting point, a foundation, a preparation for living on a higher level of consciousness than we third-dimensional mortals are generally accustomed to.

The mountaintop is in sight and the golden Sun, the immortal Self, awaits beyond this peak of personal achievement. Yet, the final climb to this point of perfection, is the greatest endurance test of all because the challenge is to overcome and purge the most stubborn, deep-seated of all, to uproot negative emotions that go back many lifetimes and have surfaced repeatedly and have been both suppressed and unleashed and yet have not been transformed by conscious awareness. And, so, it might require several years of feeling these emotions stir and rise to the surface, a bit like watching a child’s pain, nurturing rather than denying it, sometimes identifying with the pain and at others viewing it with the detachment of a loving parent, trusting that the child will gradually settle down. Or, indeed, learning from the child’s spontaneous release of tension without causing any harm to itself or anyone else. The emphasis ought probably to be on non-interference with the process, on paying attention to one’s feelings, owning and taking responsibility for them in the way that a parent cares for and protects a child, rather than deciding for the child and acting on its behalf, chastising it or making excuses and apologising for it in embarrassment. Breathe deeply and release, release whatever tension you can in this moment. Relax and feel alive, conscious, bright and confident, light and playful. Beauty, love, laughter, passion, hunger, clarity, peace, sweetness, integrity, magic, Light…the jewels of life. Smile.

We must face and become conscious of our darker sides, neither projecting nor acting on them unconsciously, on automatic pilot, nor repressing them. This requires courage and honesty as well as self-love if we are going to find inner peace and harmony. Awareness itself harmonises. It is ignorance and self-denial which do all the damage. Taking responsibility for all aspects of ourselves, owning them, is liberating.

Please note that the Introduction and Conclusion as well as all Retrospective Inserts and Notes have been written several years after the journal (between 2008 and 2010). They therefore provide perspectives that are more prevalent in book three of this series.

What follows is a description of the ordeals I have endured since moving to London. The sole purpose of this section is to help the reader to make sense of the journal entries by providing you with the context in which they were written. However, I do not feel that this background information is an essential part of the book but more a matter of preference. I refer to this section as the ‘ground upon which the jumping beans dance.’ You might wish to skip this section if you feel comfortable ‘jumping in’ and dancing with the pulses of inspiration from the beginning. In addition, Monstaville can either be read from chapter to chapter or opened randomly for the purpose of inspiration in the present moment. Used thus, it serves as a bridge to help attune your conscious mind to your inner guidance through feeling and intuition like an oracle. Do the words resonate with you? How do they relate to experiences in your own life? Hold firmly to the Light and wield the sword of love and truth. For, you, as am I, are on your way to warriorship and wizardry. The hour of adventure is upon us fellow peaceful warrior! In the light of eternity, we are but a whisker away from self-mastery. In the words of Wilfred Peterson: “Let your light shine. Be a source of strength and courage. Share your wisdom.”

“Promise me you’ll always remember…you’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” – Christopher Robin to Pooh Bear.


1. According to David Icke, the House of Rothschild controls both the political systems in the United States and England and Israel is another of their assets.
2. Ascension 2012 is a DNA shift to full consciousness via the evolutionary leap to crystalline DNA and accompanying unfoldment of the physical body’s corresponding potentiality (to 12-helix DNA activation).
3. I regard ‘being’ to be more male; identity, states of being. I guess I also consider ‘superconsciousness’ to be a balance between the two but in which creative being is continually expanding to experience and realise more of the Infinite, the Goddess, Mother Dao.

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