Sunday, 30 March 2014

Monstaville Book II. Chapter 8


“Still, it is hard for a pure and thoughtful man to live in a state of rapture at the spectacle afforded to him by his fellow-creatures; above all it is hard, when such a man is placed as Marcus Aurelius was placed, and has had the meanness and perversity of his fellow-creatures thrust, in no common measure, upon his notice - has had time after time, to experience how ‘within ten days thou wilt seem like a god to those whom thou art now a beast and an ape.’”
(Matthew Arnold’s essay on Marcus Aurelius, 1865, from Marcus Aurelius: Meditations, Wordsworths Editions Limited, Herts, U.K., 1997).

(My favourite quotation RE: dealing with ignorant ruffians like Pigsy).

Pigsy can be compared to a volatile child running wild, a social leper (you have to keep away from) and a psycho-monster! There is little good there (this isn’t ‘Mr. Benn brings out the saint in hard man Smasher’!). That’s why he’s close to his mother: she reminds him of being loved for who is, his faults overlooked perhaps, as it was in the beginning, in childhood. So he can deny his faults. She loves him as she did when he was a child, so it frees him of his alcoholism and the monster he has become. He probably separates the two for his own convenience, shows only a good side, albeit a lie, to his mother and uses that persona in his job and when he needs people to trust him. It helps him to get by. Perhaps he just always ends up on his own and needs her because she is always there for him.

He is trying to engage, to interact with me, to get my attention because he wants to compete and demonstrate his power, like a child. An adult would pay little attention to a child doing this because the child is small and can do no real damage. You can observe and guide it, tell it off, tell it to stop, remove its toys. If it had a gun though it would be a different story. It is hard to reason with a child but it is not as conscious as you so you can display power and it may back down, concede without knowing why, just that the natural order of things is for adults to have more power and authority. The child doesn’t want to get into trouble. It won’t use the gun. Yet, it enjoys the power, if you believe it has power. But, also, it could get carried away, intoxicated by glory and power and lose self-control. And, BANG! It would regret the action but it would be too late. Pigsy is like a child with a dangerous adult body as a weapon and also alcohol and knives, bottles, etc. He can also cause physical damage and he is like a child with a gun. If you don’t call his bluff, catch him out, he will use the threat to control you and run riot as his childish, undisciplined nature wants. He lacks discipline like a child and is disciplined only when he feels fear and when boundaries are clearly presented to him. Then he’s just a baby.

So, what of a spiritual child? Is that a threat to a spiritual adult? A monster and an angel together. The monster attacks and the angel does nothing. The monster destroys all that is material and physical. The angel doesn’t care. Alas, I am no angel! No saint even. I need to hang on to my physical life and possessions, to protect my work, etc. I am in a physical body and therefore vulnerable, and my mind is vulnerable too through my body and senses, but not psychically. That is where my strength lies. Pigsy makes noises to remind me he’s there and is a threat and that I should fear him (so he can impress his girlfriend by showing what power he has).

"I heard an Angel singing
when the day was springing,
‘Mercy, Pity, Peace
Is the world's release.’
- William Blake.

19 September 2003. 00.54 a.m.

After Pigsy coughing loudly when he arrived home with his girlfriend (imitating my cough as he does regularly!) and the girls next door laughing loudly so late, I concluded: I will HAVE to move. I will have to discard my possessions, live without a garden, leave London perhaps and stop writing my books (no space) etc.

The fact that Pigsy hasn’t moved out shows that he is a bully. He’s looking for a reason to lose his temper because he enjoys the release of his pent up anger, his inner fury. It gives him and his girlfriend a thrill. So he winds me up to try and get a reaction so I am humiliated. But I don’t play ball. I’m no fun!

‘Oh, I have an alcohol problem,’ etc. Domestic violence: men want to take their crap out on someone else, someone who is unable to defend themselves. Then they go all innocent and soft to persuade the other person of their genuine remorse and innocence, etc. they then forget it all. It goes out the window. The monster tries to justify his behaviour by ignoring his own failings and expanding on yours, twisting them in any way possible to make you look bad - just full of bullshit, lies. [1]

“Any excuse will serve a tyrant.” - Aesop.

Pigsy felt inferior, an outsider, with me there all healthy and sane and stuff. He took offence at my comparatively puritanical judgements, my reaction to people winding me up, etc. his intimidation is designed to break up the established, harmonious energy of me and my flat, to make me more nervous and unstable, to crack. He is trying instinctively to make cracks in the energy I have downstairs. That’s why he may give up. He cannot be happy there because I remind him he’s an unhappy, sad old fuck-up. He can’t take it. Hence, he could only have a chat once he got on a sober wavelength and could feel some sense of dignity albeit based on lies. So, if the stronger pink energy remains, it will piss him off (psychically). Especially if he stays at his flat regularly. He’s going to feel it. So will his girlfriend.

You need to be a Superman, as in Nietzsche’s philosophy. You need to be greater than all of these problems in life, be bigger and more powerful than them. And view Pigsy as an ant or wasp or something. Just an insect that stings a little. No true damage. No serious harm.  You have to be a god, effortlessly dealing with everything in your life, not worrying, not being afraid, working internally to increase your consciousness, your energy, mind and expression. Be a light which people respect and recognise. They can see that you are not affected by much in this world because you are more than a human-animal.

Troubles, like babies, grow larger by nursing.“ - Lady Holland.

This thing with Pig monster and the nasties next door is an energy thing: it is about keeping the energy here stable and harmonious so nothing kicks off. They need volatile energy to work with destructively. You have to compensate for his negative energy - manage your mutual space. Reign. You may even be safer here like this because you can control the energy. You know where he is, where he’s going to try things. So, it’s just here and you can create the energy here as you live here. If it was in a bar or at work or something, you couldn’t control the atmosphere or create the energy there totally.

Pigsy wants to feel big, to prove he’s a big man by making you feel small. He feels like a big shot and can impress his girlfriend by intimidating, poking fun at you, winding you up. If he can get your attention, then he can engage with you, pull you into his sick games, create a psychic tie, a union in which he can pour his negative emotions and lose his temper. He needs your input as one person’s psychic energy. And intent is not sufficient to create a light in which the conscious mind is pretty much overridden and all the anger and bad stuff in the deep unconscious is released.

Drag your thoughts away from your the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it." – Mark Twain.

His power stands in relation to your fear. If you have power and not fear, he may then feel fear. That’s why he has to play psychological games. Perhaps he’s doing it because he enjoys the power of being possessed but needs negative input from you to make it hard for him to draw on deeper, darker reserves of power within and beyond him (negative forces). He has no power here so he’s using whatever means he knows to try to take power from me and establish and claim his territory in the whole house. That’s what he’s doing - like a dog. Perhaps he feels humiliated and powerless if he is not in control, if he is not feared. Unless he feels he has power over me he feels that he is not the powerful man he wants to be and whom his girlfriend can admire. So he avoids coming here. Or, perhaps it’s just the fact that I do not react and don’t play his dirty games.

Caine (David Carradine): You wish me to go?
(Someone frightened of the fact that Caine stands up for himself instead of just accepting what the bullies do): I wish you never had come.
Caine: A man cannot live his whole life in fear.
(Same man): What have you to fear? You're a Shaolin priest. If I had your strength...
Caine: You have. Only look for it.
                - Kung Fu (Season 1, Episode 3, ‘Blood Brother,’ 1973, quote taken from

Retrospective inserts.

ALight Packets which contain advanced information which is sometimes difficult to decipher are being downloaded to those who have begun the process of unifying the Sacred Mind and the Sacred Heart. In time, this will become a normal process; however, for the time being, you must allow yourselves time to turn inward and contemplate what is being given to you so that you can transform the knowledge into wisdom and integrate that which rings true to you. You must then put your newly‑found wisdom into action which will gradually enhance your Light quotient and will add a new vibrational pattern to your Soul Song. Ask yourself this question before your sleep time: What have I contributed this day to the human/earthly storehouse of wisdom and loving energy? Living in a state of harmlessness in the NOW moment is your goal. Remember, with greater gifts comes greater responsibility.
As you become more proficient as cocreators on the earthly plane, you must constantly monitor your energy patterns and seek to upgrade them. You must strive for sustained harmony and refined godly expression. You must liberate the power of the Sacred Fire within which has lain dormant for many thousands of years. You must learn to direct and focus your energy into the areas of your life you wish to change. By establishing and constantly upgrading your Creator Wheel of Life, you are planting the seeds of focussed change and you are supplying the Sacred Fire of Creation needed to manifest what you have envisioned. When you can do this proficiently, your personal world will become a wonderland, and you will become a beacon of Light for all to see.@
- Archangel Michael (channelled through Ronna Herman, >Passport to Ascension,= Archangel Michael’s May Message, 28 April 2009, &

‘Reactivity indicates the need for self-forgiveness’ by Jeshua (channelled through Jayem, The Way of Mastery, ‘The Power of Forgiveness,’ Lesson 3, Heartfelt Publishing, VA., U.S., 1997, p.35,

“Rest assured, you will continue to project upon others what remains unhealed and unforgiven within yourself. Each time you react to another, you are being given a sign that there is some kind of energy that has been presented to your awareness that you have not forgiven within yourself. If someone is critical and you react every time they are critical, rest assured, you have not healed that part of your own being - that part of your own experience of being critical of others.
Whether it is occurring now, or whether it seems to be a pattern that you have interrupted and no longer do, you have still not forgiven yourself for having identified with that energy.
Use your ordinary experience in each day to observe what pushes your buttons. We will give you a very simple technique for doing so. If you will stay with it, it will reveal to you the energies that are in need of your forgiveness.
The technique is quite simple. As you go through your day, observe when you feel as  though you are in contraction. Are the muscles of the body tight? Is the breath very shallow? Does your voice become faster or louder when you speak about some energy in someone else. That is a sign that you need to do healing within yourself. When you recognise that these kinds of signs are going on - in other words, life has presented you with an opportunity to be disturbed - that is a sign that there is something that requires healing. Therefore, count it a blessing if you feel disturbed.”

“When a thing is funny search it for a hidden truth.” – George Bernard Shaw.


1. Eckhart Tolle suggests that the ‘pain body’ is responsible for alcoholism and violence in men and that it is this which commits the violence. I’m not sure if he means density in the emotional body which is blocked by negative emotions associated with painful experiences and which need to be released.

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