By Jennifer Hoffman, 1 November 2009
If we could see all of our lifetimes they would not look like a continuous path moving forward. Instead, they would resemble a twisted path which curved back on itself multiple times and it would often seem like there was no forward movement. This is because many of our lifetimes have no forward movement as we are trying to fix what we believe was broken, incomplete, unfinished or unresolved in the past. Most of our lifetimes have this focus, which is why it has taken us so long to arrive at the point where ascension was an option. Before we can move ahead into the future we must resolve the past through the path of reconciliation. But not necessarily by going backwards into it. We can reconcile by moving forwards by changing our mindset about reconciliation.
We feel the same way about lifetimes that end tragically or sadly, with unresolved issues or pain that we do in this lifetime when someone betrays us and we do not know why. When our heart and soul are wounded or we are so angry or bitter about an unresolved event, we want justice and closure. So we reconstruct that lifetime’s details to allow us to create a different outcome. But as we know, that does not always happen. Too often we become mired in the same emotions and pain that we experienced the first time around. And so we are on the path of reconciliation, trying again and again for closure and release by trying to undo the past.
This is the ‘old’ way of doing things, which is why we have had so many lifetimes where we repeat lessons and get stuck within our soul group dynamics. And there is a little twist to this story because not only do we try to make different choices within the energy dynamic, we also give the other participants a chance to make other choices too. The phrase ‘turn the other cheek’ is taken very literally here where instead of turning the other cheek and walking away, we give them an opportunity to wound us again, which they very often do.
Each time we repeat this process we become more wounded until we are disillusioned, believing that it is our destiny to carry the burden of pain because we cannot find our way out of it. This is where our life path stops moving forward and appears to double back on itself. If we could see the energy we would see that it doubles back to the same lifetime, energy or experience, again and again, as we try to resolve it by going back to it. Our life path is stuck in an endless loop of seeking resolution, reconciliation and truth through repeating the situation until we get a different outcome.
But because the energy is the same, the outcome will always be the same. And because the soul group is the same, the vibration is also the same. We do not understand that we cannot find reconciliation within these dynamics until we change something within ourselves. And that what we are really looking for is reconciliation about our feelings of separation and disconnection. We want the world and everyone in it to love us so we can believe that we are loved by God. Then we can make sense of our long journey away from and back to our Home.
There is relief available to us but it comes at the price of acceptance and forgiveness. Accepting that our past is our creation and represents the lessons we need to learn. That no matter how many times we offer someone the chance to change, as long as they do not see the need for it or are not willing to do it, they will continue to act as they always have. Our reconciliation with our pain cannot depend on another’s actions. It is our desire to reconcile our feelings about the past that creates the need to repeat it. Yet without a new energy or vibration, the release of our expectations of others and forgiveness, we will never find peace.
This is something we stubbornly resist because we are so afraid of rejection by our Source that we cannot go to Source for the answer. So we ask others to be stand-ins, to take the place of the one whose love we cannot risk losing. And we ask them to show us the unconditional love we believe we have lost and want proof of. And the irony is that it can never be lost and is something that can never be taken away from us. Our need to reconcile with them is our need to reconcile with our Self. Every wrong, no matter how small, is a source of pain that we want to re-visit to ‘get it right,’ pretend that it did not happen, that the person did not mean it. Yet, like the Frog and Scorpion in the fable, that is their dharma, it is what they do. And that is what they will always do, in every situation. Can we see that we are the ones who need to change? Not until we learn to stop asking our human family to show us what it needs to learn from us, love, detachment, non-judgement, and unconditional love.
Our victim paradigm, which fuels our need for recapturing our power through repeating life challenges, is another aspect we need to consider. Are we a victim of someone’s behaviour or our own expectations? How often do we deliberately create opportunities for others to help us resolve our victim experiences, allowing them to show us that they really didn’t mean it? And then we find that it is not by setting ourselves up as a victim and expecting someone to see us as powerful that we heal this aspect, it is by becoming powerful and refusing to be victimised.
With this we come to forgiveness as another form of relief from the painful healing cycles of reconciliation. Can we forgive ourselves when we realise that our pain and suffering exist because we created them? When we accept responsibility for our reality, we realise that we are our source of pain, which others mirror to us. We forgive them for their actions and with that must also forgive ourselves for inviting them and their energy into our reality.
So the reconciliation we seek is not so much with others, but with ourselves. We need to reconcile ourselves with our power and divinity, not through our endless search for it in the world by but finding it within. Although our search takes us far and wide, we are always brought back to ourselves, to the inner source where everything we have ever wanted and needed, waits for us to acknowledge it. We are worthy of the love we so desperately want to find in the world. It is a love we take for granted because it is always within, a steady, bright light that shines even though we sometimes close our eyes tightly so we do not have to look at it. We are the love we have been seeking, the gift we hope we would be worthy of receiving and the light that we have sought in others. The path of reconciliation is one we will pursue until we acknowledge that its resolution lies within us. And then we will be home and connected to ourselves, which then allows us to be connected to, loved and valued by everyone.
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