Carl Jung has a beautiful quote, "There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."
If you want to be at peace you are going to have to do the work of healing yourself. If you choose not to do that, and it is a choice, then you will live a life of confusion, pain and darkness. And there's just no good reason for that. Life can be so achingly beautiful, even when it's painful. Rejecting your own soul is the loneliest thing you could do.
I don't know why it feels so overwhelming to us. I don't know why we run from it for as long as we do. It's like anything else that's unknown to us, I suppose. We let fear of the unknown take over and decide we'd better stay where we are, even if it's totally screwed up. Because at least it's familiar. But really, we ought to be running for that rabbit hole. Diving in head first, with our mind quiet and our heart open, and one idea: let me know myself. Let me sit in front of the mirror of my soul and download the information that I already know. That I've somehow forgotten, or covered over, or run from. Because any answers you need about how to live the life that is going to bring you fulfillment, joy and peace, are within you. They are down that rabbit hole.
Some people get stuck playing chess with the Queen for years. They look long enough to identify their stuff, but that's as far as they want to go. So they can tell you why they are the way they are, but they don't make the moves necessary to do anything about it. Healing requires action. Identifying your pain is a start, but it's definitely not the place to quit. Because justifying an unhappy present as the result of a disappointing past is just not going to get you anywhere.
We humans love to be the victims or the heroes or the martyrs. We love our stories and our rationalizations and our coping mechanisms. But if that's where things are at for you, I'll bet you're downright miserable. Those are not the moves that bring you peace and understanding. You have to be willing to get real with yourself. In a compassionate way, you have to look honestly at your stuff, and deal with anything that isn't serving you. Commit to feeding thoughts, words and actions that are going to lead to joy, love and growth. And start starving everything else. Give up the coping mechanisms that keep you numb. Put the crutches down, or better yet, use them to start digging. Because time isn't waiting for you. Life is happening. Today is Halloween. Soon it will be Thanksgiving, and just like that we'll be saying Happy New Year!
If you've already climbed out of the rabbit hole, isn't the view stunning?!?! And if you haven't, how long are you gonna wait? How much time are you going to spend at the Mad Hatter's crazy table? How long are you going to play the part of a pawn? You can heal yourself with some bold and decisive moves. Don't let laziness and fear be the reason you don't live a life you would love. That would be so sad. And in case you want to know what time it is, it is NOW. Are you a late rabbit? Get hopping!!! Happy Halloween! Why don't you show up as yourself?! Sending you love, Ally.