“Real joy comes from seeing others happy.“ - Alma Gygi (Gifts That Reach Beyond The Sundown, UT., U.S., 1975).
Monday, 24 November 2014
Monstaville Book II. Chapter 42
[The rock monster chases Nesmith]
Alexander Dane (Alan Rickman): Fred’s no good Jason, you're just going to have to kill it.
Jason Nesmith (Tim Allen): Kill it? Well, I'm open to any suggestions.
Tommy Webber (Daryl Mitchell): Go for the eyes, like in episode 22!
Jason Nesmith: He doesn't have any eyes, Tommy!
Tommy Webber: Go for the mouth, then, the throat, his vulnerable spots!
Jason Nesmith: It's a rock! It doesn't have any vulnerable spots!
Guy Fleegman (Sam Rockwell): I know! You construct a weapon. Look around, can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?
[Dane gets annoyed and grabs the communicator from him].
Alexander Dane: Well, you’re just going to have to figure out what it wants - what is its motivation.
Jason Nesmith: It's a rock monster. It doesn't have motivation.
Sir Alexander Dane: See, that's your problem, Jason. You were never serious about the craft.
- From a scene in Galaxy Quest (directed by Dean Parisot, 1999).
The root cause of a conflict: Bullies in a nutshell.
Someone behaves selfishly, unaware - or not caring - that they are having an injurious effect on others psychologically by imposing their noise or desires and invading others’ space or peace of mind, or taking resources on which they depend. They do not care about anyone but themselves. Sooner or later, there is a reaction, whether polite or aggressive. The selfish person will only respect the wishes of others if they feel that there is no choice, if the other is, or seems to be, more powerful and likely to win the conflict. Otherwise, he or she will carry on doing what they want and may even do it more just to prove their point. They may show that they can do whatever they like. ‘What are you going to do to stop me?’ they ask. Selfish people bully whoever they can so they can get their own way. They impose themselves on those who are in a weaker position then they are physically or materially. They have predatory instincts and behave like animals in the jungle, wild cats, which prey on weaker creatures they can bring down, kill and eat.
In England, there are always some people like this in our midst (‘they know who they are’- and they’re unlikely to be reading this book). We have such mixed blood. There are whole families, whole areas, like it. We avoid them if we can but trouble cannot always be avoided. There are even whole nations that are ruled by selfish and aggressive regimes and cultural groups and in which those who gravitate to such attitudes freely inflict them on society. But, there are also countries where people are more peace-loving than in Britain, who do not have to put up with dangerous individuals because benevolent qualities are promoted and rewarded. They are so few and far between that they are easily dealt with. India, for all its failings, is perhaps such a nation, for example.
How far a selfish person tries to push things determines the outcome. They are always testing and always projecting their selfishness on to others, pinning the blame on them. They push a bit more, and a bit more. Any reaction justifies a ‘retaliation’ and ‘provoked attack’ because the selfish person is in denial of their own aggression. They believe they are behaving well because they are good and everyone else is bad. They never see others as they really are. They either see others as obstacles or victims because they just want. They are undisciplined and want to get their own way without restraint or respect for anyone else. They are so wrapped up in themselves that they give you the grief you don’t need and they take the peace of mind, space and resources you do need.
Usually, if you are able to stand up for yourself sufficiently and show that you will not be intimidated the bully will either back down and look for someone else to use and abuse or there might be a confrontation or continued aggravation as they attempt to prove to themselves that they have not lost and will get what they want. They may continue the pressure in order to test you to see if you are up to the challenge, perhaps in a different capacity. They look for your weaknesses and may, if they are persistent or want something from you badly enough, try attacking you from other angles. Sometimes, repeatedly showing your intention not to be intimidated is sufficient. There is then always that factor of uncertainty that makes a person wonder what you might be capable of, or what you intend to do about the situation. These people are fighting with the world, fighting with you and fighting, ultimately, with themselves. They do not think about the future or the consequences of their actions. You might spend the rest of your life working towards getting even. That means nothing to them. As clever as they might well be, they do not have much awareness. They are, by definition, narrow-minded, barbaric people.
If a bully sees that you have friends, especially friends who could support and defend you, they are likely to stop harassing you. This is an ideal measure to take against aggressors. They like to go round in groups and pick fights with people who have no way of winning. They thrive on the power of numbers. Often, though, they do not have that many friends because no one genuinely likes them (perhaps, like Pigsy, they just used or bought friends and have none left). They hang around with people who are similar to them.
Over time, the aggressor and their prey get to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. The former is always fighting and competing, trying to demonstrate their power and impose their will on the latter. When you think you have succeeded and ‘all is quiet on the Western Front,’ you can guarantee that trouble will start up again unless you have overcome the aggressor once and for all with a demonstration of power that puts them off trying it on. The reason for this is that such people do not change - they are naturally selfish and always want to get their own way. In fact, change is what they most fear because there is so much that requires changing within themselves in order to find lasting contentment without depending on making others miserable. Since they do not see why they should restrain themselves and resent any restriction from outside, they proudly demonstrate their power and attack. They may harbour a grudge from an earlier time when you managed to get them to back down. They ‘think,’ ‘I want to do this and nothing is going to stop me.’ So, they do it whether you like it or not, and they may deliberately go over the top to see what your reaction is, again, to assure themselves of your weak defence or passive acceptance.
"Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk." - Dalai Lama.
You do not want to allow yourself to be dragged down into the gutter but, equally, you may find it difficult to remain positive or they walk all over you and make your life a misery. Unless you can get away from them completely, having to move, for example, you must gradually become stronger and keep trying to deal with the situation. You can only do your best. If you have faith and a positive intention to master it or endeavour to master yourself and centre yourself in the power of your inner being - then you have succeeded in transforming negative energy into something positive and you have changed yourself. It is then more than an endurance test. It is an initiation from which, in the long-term, you will benefit. The situation, the circumstances themselves, are only temporary. It is the way you react, the way you think and behave, which determines what you will be in the future.
You might be limited in the ways you can afford to act but you are not limited at all in the ways you can grow and learn from the situation. As long as you are expressing your higher nature, whether partly or fully, what others do and where they are lacking is their lookout. They succeed only in securing power temporarily whereas you achieve permanent qualities of self-control, inner power, love, peace and joy that are not dependent on external circumstances. These qualities may or may not be disturbed by other people but they run deep enough for you to find at least partial refuge. When ‘it’s all over,’ you will emerge victorious from your ordeals and know deep and lasting peace and happiness.
“I believe our everyday experience confirms that a self-centred attitude towards problems can be destructive not only towards society, but to the individual as well. Selfishness does not solve problems for us, it multiplies them. Accepting responsibility and maintaining respect for others will leave all concerned at peace. This is the essence of Mahayana Buddhism.” - The Dalai Lama (“Mayahana is to bring nirvana back into the world as a Bodhisattva,” as Alan Watts noted).
"It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself." - Ralph Waldo Emerson.
“There is only one way of not hating those who do us wrong, and that is by doing them good.” - Henri Frederick Amiel.
“I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their happiness or satisfaction. Yet, true happiness comes from a sense of peace and contentment, which in turn must be achieved through the cultivation of altruism, of love and compassion, and elimination of ignorance, selfishness, and greed.” - The Dalai Lama.
“Compassion is not religious business, it is human business, it is not luxury, it is essential for our own peace and mental stability, it is essential for human survival.” - The Dalai Lama.
What is the environment that produces sabotage? Excerpts from The Lazaris Material. Ending Self-sabotage. Tape 1 (audio cassette) by Lazaris (channelled through Jach Pursel, Concept: Synergy, CA., U.S., 1986, www.lazaris.com).
Before I can end my self-sabotage, I need to identify that’s what I’m doing. And, in order to identify it, I need to know the characteristics. Now that I know the characteristics, when I’m in a mess, when I’m in a jam, one of the first questions I’m going to ask myself when I get up above water enough to breathe is, ‘Is this a traditional method of failure or is it sabotage? [By being] able to answer that question, I, all of a sudden, have at least the stick of wood to hang onto in my drowning situation. I’ve got some lifeline here where I can hold myself above water enough to figure out what to do next.
[There are seven conditions that create an environment that encourages self-sabotage, according to Lazaris: symbiotic guilt (for example, people are starving in Africa therefore I must eat all of my food and make myself sick), not knowing how you succeeded, secrets, shame, unforgivability, undeservability and flirting with your negative ego fantasy (for example, if you are intelligent you might fantasise about insanity instead)].
[Playing around with your negative ego fantasy to see how dangerously close to the edge you can get is a way to feel. We fear both anger and love, says Lazaris].
And the scariest thing on your planet is intimacy – because, indeed, your relationship with God/Goddess/All That is would be direct except for all this barrage of illusion you throw up in between…See, you’re used to adversity. You’re used to difficulties. You’ve learned to grow up with them. You go to school to learn how to handle them. Intimacy is the thing you want the most and the thing that scares you the most. Feeling scares you; feeling love. ‘Oh, I can feel romance. I can feel titillation. I can feel the juices flowing as hormonal responses to people.’ But love scares you…
“…there are people out there who are terrified of feeling. But you must feel. See, you create this space. And you’re going to feel love or going to feel pain. You’re going to feel. And as you feel love you feel pain. As you refuse love you feel pain. And some people, in that way, will, they go so far as to be so, so messed up, that they literally will hurt themselves, literally cut themselves, literally create physical pain because at least it’s a feeling. Some people will therefore literally destroy their lives, walk right in, eyes wide open-because, even though it’s devastating, at least they’re feeling.
And we would suggest here that flirting with your negative ego’s fantasy of self-destruction is a way, sadly, some people, the only way that they have, of feeling anything. They never feel good. They never feel excited. The only thing they feel is fear and fear is what turns them on. They’re, they’re masochists, seeking a sadist. And the negative ego fantasy is the flirtation and that induces self-sabotage.
“Every human being feels pleasure in doing good to another.” - Thomas Jefferson.
“Student asks, ‘I am very discouraged. What should I do?’ Master says, ‘Encourage others.” - Zen Proverb.
“Real joy comes from seeing others happy.“ - Alma Gygi (Gifts That Reach Beyond The Sundown, UT., U.S., 1975).
“You are the creator of your own experience whether you know that you are or not. Your life experience is unfolding in precise response to the vibrations that radiate as a result of your thoughts – whether you know that it is or not.” – Abraham (Manifest Your Desires by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA., U.S., 2008, p.206).
"The heart is the key, it is the doorway to your freedom. Service to others is your relief from suffering. In serving others, you serve self and in that, joy is born." - St. Germain (channelled through Ashamarae McNamara, www.awakeningfromwithin.com).
“You have been on a roller-coaster ride - long, slow, painful climbs to heights from which glimpses of a marvellous future could be briefly viewed, followed by a very rapid descent back into the grime of the illusory world. The end of this ride, however, is at the top, not at the bottom, and you are on the last stages of the final ascent.” - Saul (channelled through John Smallman, ‘Your high hopes and expectations are completely justified,’ 11 November 2012, www.johnsmallman.wordpress.com/2012/11/11/your-high-hopes-and-expectations-are-completely-justified).
Announcer: We interrupt with a special announcement: An hour ago a dangerous creature broke out of the city zoo. When last seen, the monster was heading for the Greenbrier-Woodlawn area.
Morticia Frump Addams: That's us again.
Lurch: Shall I bolt the windows and doors?
Gomez Addams: Nonsense. It's probably another relative.
- The Addams Family (created by Charles Addams, ‘Cousin Itt Visits the Addams Family,’ series 1, episode 20, 1965).
Question: Why do you tell jokes?
Osho: First, Religion is a complicated joke. If you don't laugh at all you have missed the point; if you only laugh you have missed the point again. It is a very complicated joke. And the whole of life is a great cosmic joke. It is not a serious phenomenon - take it seriously and you will go on missing it. It is understood only through laughter.
Have you not observed that man is the only animal who laughs? Aristotle says man is the rational animal. That may not be true - because ants are very rational and bees are very rational. In fact, compared to ants, man looks almost irrational. And a computer is very rational - compared to a computer, man is very irrational.
My definition of man is that man is the laughing animal. No computer laughs, no ant laughs, no bee laughs. If you come across a dog laughing you will be so scared! Or a buffalo suddenly laughs: you may have a heart attack. It is only man who can laugh, it is the highest peak of growth.
And it is through laughter that you will reach to God - because it is only through the highest that is in you that you can reach the ultimate. Laughter has to become the bridge. Laugh your way to God. I don't say pray your way to God, I say laugh your way to God. If you can laugh you will be able to love. If you can laugh you will be able to relax. Laughter relaxes like nothing else. So all jokes to me are prayers - that's why I tell them.