Extra loose note. Personally, I believe that the answer to this conundrum is to remain centred in the heart, to feel the love and joy of the Spirit and therefore Eternal Reality whilst finding intelligent, inspired ways to express power positively and with maximum effect using minimal effort. The violent reactions of earlier past lifetimes surface in the mind sometimes in this life, now that I’m much older and wiser. I do not act on them. However, this had often caused me to be paralysed and confused, not knowing exactly what to do instead. One must somehow learn to remain centred in love whilst expressing one’s power and balancing the two with wisdom! The solution can be expressed simply enough: ‘Love and do what thou wilt.’ Express your power effectively whilst remaining positively focused at all times. Never allow any external event or person to steal your love and joy, your presence…or your power! But, if you express power alone then you are less likely to keep the state of feeling loving and joyous whereas, if you become wholly loving and joyous, you can maintain a high vibration. Then your awareness and inner guidance may offer a solution. Feel what you feel, breathe and release it. Use the Violet Flame. Do what you can to release the negative emotions so that you do not inflict them on those who appear to be foes. Rather, stay upbeat, remain relaxed and aware, feel in your heart and then express power by taking positive action. However, it’s weird. It’s a mind fuck. On the one hand, I need to express the unconditional love that I AM. And, on the other, there is the power and fearlessness of I AM too. On the one hand, I love all completely as extensions of myself as the Creative Source and therefore do not fight with anyone. And, on the other hand, I am a roaring lion, a king, who will never lie down and be anyone’s victim.
It was after this that I decided to start getting up early and dancing naked to one song around 7 a.m. each day just before the Witch gets up. The intention is not to wake her up but make her think and reassess the situation! Well, anyway, the main purpose is to energise myself for the day and use this as an alchemical tool (chuckle), to start the day getting into my body and paying attention to my Inner Child. I find it helps anyway. It is also heaps of fun which makes this a great way to start the day. I do this regardless of whether El Phaba is home or not and I no longer care much how she feels about it really. It’s tough since she has acted so heartlessly herself. So, from this point onwards, I have taken hardly any action in an attempt to remedy the shoe situation upstairs. I have just been thinking, ‘You do what you want to do and I’ll do what I want to do.’ Simply content to have my early morning treat. Throughout November I endured all of that noise coming from upstairs plus ridiculously loud talking right near my wall from the next-door neighbours late at night on most days. It was deliberate because they have never done that before. It usually did not go past 11 p.m. so stayed up until 11 or 11.30 p.m. However, I was refusing to put the heating on (since I was still struggling to pay last winter’s bill!) and it has been very cold this year. November was like January. Thus, after only a few days of the early morning dancing routine I got out of bed after insufficient sleep and when my immune system was buckling in the cold weather. Needless to say, I had a stinking cold for a few days. I say a few days: I was lucky and got rid of it quickly, coughing for two days and sneezing for the whole of the third day, but it left me weak for a week afterwards. I then resumed my practice. I should mention, by the way, that when I had a cold the people next door took turns at ‘coughing’ and ‘sneezing’ loudly to echo my own.