By Alexandra and Dan, October 2013
This channeling is part of Soul purpose reading with Saint-Germain.
"Dear Saint-Germain, I’ve always felt unsure of myself. I don’t have enough self-confidence to explore or develop the gifts that I have. I’m intelligent and curious about many different things, but I still don’t know what I’d be good at doing with my life. Instead, I’ve chosen to do what I think will please other people, especially my family members. I would like to be more aligned with my Soul’s purpose for me, but for the moment I feel quite stuck. Can you help me, please?"
My friend, I AM Saint-Germain.
In this lifetime, your Soul’s purpose for you is about learning to apply focus, discipline, and commitment to a field of experience of your choice. But as you know, choosing and then committing also creates challenges for you. The challenge is this: with your intelligent and curious mind, you like lots of broad, varied, and stimulating experiences. And for this reason, you have a tendency to lose your focus, as well as the disciplined follow-through that are required to go deeply into a singular experience of your choosing.
You may also find that you confront significant issues in your life in desiring to be free and independent of others, but also in feeling uncertain about whether you can step away from the shelter, guidance and direction that others – especially family members – have provided for you. These contradictory feelings cause you to swing back-and-forth between feeling overly dependent, and then later needing to break away and be free at all cost.
To counter these tendencies, your Soul is encouraging you to rely more on personal initiative, self-determination and courage. You’re being invited to rise to the challenge of choosing a path and then committing to it in spite of your fear or the uncertainty of the outcome. As you begin to exercise your autonomy and independent nature more, rather than falling back into old patterns of dependency upon others, you will become more aligned with your Soul’s purpose for you. Then you will not feel that you are being held back by others, or concerned that you must always please them before taking care of your own needs.
Decisiveness, Courage and Confidence
Decisiveness and a willingness to act without so much hesitation are qualities that your Soul is encouraging you to develop now. Earlier in this life, or perhaps in former lifetimes, you may have paid too much attention to social convention or the expectations of family members or society. In other words, it may have been more important for you to “fit in” or be liked, rather than stand for your own truths or desires. In the process, you compromised parts of yourself in order to please or accommodate others.
Another issue for you, as you have pointed out, is courage and confidence. Although you may not always feel confident and self-assured when you’re confronted with the need to act; remember that courage is something that you can learn, as you allow yourself to feel the fear and go forward anyway.
In this lifetime, you are called to let conventional roles and habits give way to a more exciting, truthful, and passionate nature. As you dare to follow through on what truly excites you and speaks to your curiosity, you leave behind your tendency to compromise what you want out of life, in order to please or NOT DISPLEASE others.
A Different Perspective
I would like to share with you now a different perspective about what's going on with your life. I would like to help you see that you can live your life confidently and courageously from now on, rather than feeling that you are losing out on something important because you can’t yet see what you’d like to be doing with your life. Instead, I want you to rest assured that you are doing the right thing for yourself, even though it doesn’t seem to be the case right now.
I am calling you to be courageous in looking at yourself now with honesty. Look at the way you feel about yourself and the world. You have to understand that the things that are happening in your life now, are happening for a reason. Nothing that has come your way has been a mistake. Nothing was thrown into your experience to cause you to suffer.
It's important, instead, to understand that every step that you are taking now was well prepared for you. Specifically, you are here to understand how your choices, and everything that you are doing in your life, are right for you. Even if it seems that you’re on the wrong path, this doesn’t mean that you’ve failed to make the right choices. When you can understand this and accept it, you will release the burden of feeling that you have failed – and that you are not able to see the bright horizon of your dreams.
You have to keep the faith and remember that you are being clearly guided by your Soul. You have it’s light before you, and this is showing you the way toward the experiences that are appropriate for you.
Accept this, and be at peace. This will allow you to feel more at ease with yourself, and with the world in general. Then you can be more at ease with the experiences that you are going through, too.
Instead of being overwhelmed by all the things that you think you should try to do in order to feel that you are doing the right thing, it would be better for you to focus more on the one thing that brings you joy, contentment, and emotional satisfaction.
Your nature is very sensitive. You are very open and intuitive, and you have the natural ability to perceive the world through your heightened feeling state. But you have locked away this sensitive side of you by putting barriers around it. You do this in order to protect yourself from the demands that come your way from others, and from the uncertainly and doubt you direct toward yourself that erodes your self-confidence.
From Fogginess to Clarity
Right now, you feel that you are somehow in a fog. You are unable to mentally perceive or formulate the perfectly realistic possibilities that are there for you in life, even though you intuitively know they are there. This confusion is giving you a sense of dissolution; that you are losing touch with the world. But even amidst this confusion, you are still feeling an urge to do something about your life – to be part of an experience that moves you ahead, and liberates you from people and relationships that demand things from you that don’t feel authentically yours.
Please know that I am encouraging you now to continue forward on your journey.
In order to make the decisions that feel right to you now, you are going to have to understand this almost compulsive need you have to be independent to the point of wanting to sever your relationships with others; and the contradictory drive that you maintain which tells you that you have to please others in order to be safe, and which thereby locks you into relationships of dependency upon others.
Remember that your past fears and tendencies will call out to you at times, and tell you that you have to be a dutiful person; that you must be there for others, even to the point of not being able to define who you are or what you’d like to be doing with your own life. But when this happens, also remember that the real challenge – and one that you can courageously and successfully face – is to understand the importance of boundaries in your relationships with others lie, so that you can choose the ones that allow you to express yourself freely, without denying you the closeness with others that you value.
You can go your own way now, breaking away from the expectations you carry from others about how you should live your life. Let go of the self-doubts you have internalized, and release the old, self-defeating images so that you will be free to discover what you truly want. Your soul will guide you in this, and with a nudge it will tell you when to take the next step. Just remember that it's always important to be in touch with the deeper core of yourself – the inner sanctuary of your Soul where you can connect with those things and situation you would like to call into physical manifestation and experience. This is where your true freedom is found, and where you will find the key to your ultimate satisfaction in life
Indeed, I AM Saint-Germain.