During the Autumn (2009), yellow water started dripping down my bathroom wall rather keenly and splashing on the windowsill, making it difficult to avoid since, from there, it sprayed into the room. At first, I thought it was urine (reminds me of the Young Ones sketch in which Vyvyan opens the window and holds a pint glass out in the rain. ‘It’s only spitting,’ he announces as he closes the window again and looks at the glass which is now filled with yellow gob)! However, it did not smell of anything. It was a few days before anyone came to take a look. The initial diagnosis was that an old septic tank in the loft might be leaking but there was no tank up there. As it turned out, El Phaba had started using a detachable shower hose without making sure the sides of the bath were properly sealed. In fact, there was no sealant whatsoever! Consequently, the water was forming a large puddle beneath the bath and finding its way down to me! She was informed that using a hose on the taps is too much for the water pressure anyway. It didn’t take me long to realise that this was highly symbolic of the emotional negativity she was sending me with her clogs.
I am all for love and I feel that I have had a ‘love upgrade’ (since 9 September 2009) and that I am consciously moving in the direction of filling my heart with more and more love. However, I feel that I am also retrieving my power now after sacrificing it completely at birth in order to let go and surrender more, to sacrifice control in order to open and grow, to allow the petals to finally emerge at the top of the stem. I still maintain that the Monstaville series is about using intelligence and awareness to manage conflicts with people instead of either lashing out at them physically or verbally or feeling helpless and yielding to victimhood, which results in depression and repressed anger. In my case, it is really the latter that I have been working on partly because I am shy and vulnerable in some ways and partly because I do and always have put love first in my interaction with others. My own sensitivity and depth of feeling has, for this reason, paralysed me on more occasions than I care to remember. It could be argued that this has prepared the soil for me to discover and explore new ways of managing conflict. I have learned that reaction only serves to summon my ancient barbarian which only really serves to dig a deeper hole for myself. I believe, personally, in a foundation, or core, of love combined with balanced awareness that accommodates raw power yet trusts in tenderness by default. “Tenderness as a way of life,” as Dreaming Bear Kanaan puts it I think. This enables me to express power when required and then let go, to step out of tenderness briefly and then immediately return to it for my own sanity and wellbeing as much as anything! I have learned to define my boundaries more clearly rather than reacting unconsciously whenever they are pushed. I cannot say that my boundaries have changed but I can now see other people’s weaknesses for what they are which, really, is like saying that I am simply older and wiser. I make allowances for most types of behaviour that I do not find unbearable!
My Light body, like a butterfly, has then been empowered, accompanied by the lesson that love is the key to freedom and happiness. Mixing power and tenderness ought naturally to produce a degree of love although they do not always seem compatible. I mean, as a concrete example, blessing or gratitude followed by asserting one’s power and then the restoration of blessing or gratitude is not the tidiest experience around but, then, what is neat and tidy in the third dimension? Until we achieve true self-mastery, we must inevitably move between dimensions. Sometimes, all that is required to encourage the neighbours to turn their television down is a subtle reminder of my presence. Inconsiderate people are often selfish or ignorant to the point where they are not even aware of one’s existence even though it was only yesterday that another noise battle kicked off.
“Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.” - Erich Fromm.
“If every human being recognised the power of the love and forgiveness principle, all consciousness on Earth would change instantly.” - Quan Yin (channelled through Lena Lees).
“It is the supreme elixir that overcomes the sovereignty of death. It is the inexhaustible treasure that eliminates poverty in the world. It is the supreme medicine that quells the world’s disease. It is the tree that shelters all beings, wandering and tired on the path of conditioned existence. It is the universal bridge that leads to freedom from unhappy states of birth. It is the dawning moon of the mind that dispels the torment of disturbing conceptions. It is the great sun that finally removes the misty ignorance of the world.” - Quan Yin (from A Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, a famous Mahayana Buddhist text circa 700 A.D.).
Egocentricity equates to limited intelligence. The mind cannot expand without energy from a deeper source than the physical personality. Admittedly, however, I am recalling this observation at a time when my next-door neighbours have turned up the volume of their TV in reaction to me talking to a friend on the telephone at the other end of the house. They take such actions out of hatred. What would love do now? Love would make them aware of my presence to give them a chance to turn their television down. Unfortunately, they appear to be so stupid or bloody-minded that they have forgotten how I need only put the radio on in the kitchen again and they will then acknowledge on some level, at least, that they needed only to turn the volume down a bit to avoid having to listen to garage music in the background. Or, perhaps that does not really bother them as much as I think it should do. I find it to be effect enough, generally, however. For me, it is very important to balance love for others with self-love. The question, ‘What would love do now?’ applies simultaneously to what is in my interests as well as that of my neighbours. I have to find a balance. I have to judge according to the good of all and that, to me, means to endure to a certain point and then take some form of action that is effective without being too destructive either to myself or others. That usually requires a degree of creative intelligence. The bottom line these days, however, is that I am not prepared to take on real stress on account of others’ behaviour. As soon as I feel it getting to me I have to get up and do ‘something.’
“’How do I learn to love unconditionally?’ ‘Be aware every time you criticise, judge or condemn anyone, including yourself. And stop doing it. Apply the discipline necessary to demand from yourself, a positive, loving outlook. Never let yourself get away with a negative thought. You may like to look at the following possibilities. 'Everyone is doing the best they can, with the data they have at hand'. 'Everyone on the planet is helping everyone else.'’” - Sandy Stevenson (‘Is Ascension really happening?’ 9 September 2007, www.lightascension.com/arts/isascensionhappening.htm).
Truth must be balanced by tenderness as well. Ultimately, love and truth are one. As St. Germain cautions, discernment is required where people are not ready for certain truths. He says we do not have the right to convey truth if someone is choosing a certain experience and does not want to know. I have been struggling with this matter personally. It is time for truth to return but gently, not imposed on people whether they like it or not even if this world has been plagued with nauseous belief systems for far too long. Truth ought not to equate with tyranny. I have yet to find a way to blend truth and kindness. In the meantime, silence appears to suffice since humour often makes matters worse. So many people are just so scared of themselves that there is so much they do not want to know.
“How sweet the words of Truth, breathed from the lips of Love.“ – James Beattie.
"We must combine the toughness of the serpent and the softness of the dove, a tough mind and a tender heart." - Martin Luther King, Jr. (Strength to Love, 1963).
This trilogy, this Monster, is but the beginning of a journey towards self-mastery. It is a valuable addition to our cultural library because more and more people are being born again as spiritual infants taking their first steps. However condescending that may sound, to an Ascended Master, that is a cause for celebration. You know, finally, after so many lifetimes of denying and resisting, of simply yelling and crawling around in the dirt, we choose to leave our comfort zones and risk trying new ways of ‘getting around,’ higher forms of behaviour. Oopsadaisy! Eventually, we will achieve a new level of social cohesion, of unity and maturity akin to the infant that walks on its own two feet and talks the language of the greater universe. Humanity itself is being reborn into Light, awakening from this dream of ego separation.
”The energy of love is abundant, waiting to be called upon.” - Thich Nhat Hanh.
Dreaming Bear also suggests that we approach the ego with a sense of compassion. “We talk about ‘killing the ego,’” he says. “What if we hugged it instead?...If we embrace our pain and out joy, we give them both permission to become bliss.” (Bridging Heaven and Earth Show, No.237, www.heaventoearth.com). The ego is always negative, according to St. Germain. It does not know how to be positive, he says. (AFW, 31 December 2009). Hence, the term, ‘negative ego.’ The ego is limited, fearful, needy and insecure because it is the product of one life, or one childhood. We are so much more than this but as long as we remain identified with this small ‘I’ we do not allow space for more Light to enter from our whole Self which has watched us repeat this pattern time and time again. Expanding one’s consciousness simply means opening up to know and express more of ourselves as we really are, as beings of eternal Light, love and intelligence, beauty and power. Since we are all One, these gifts are shared freely with our brothers and sisters; starting, perhaps, with those whom we love most easily and naturally.
The following is a prayer that I adapted from some advice which St. Germain gave to someone else but made sure I overheard and a few other phrases I’ve picked up along the way:
“Presently you are like children whose parents are waking them in the morning to get dressed to go to school. The children are saying ‘Not yet! Just five minutes more -PLEEEEESE!’ But you are not waking up to go to school! You are waking up to go on the most exhilarating and exciting holiday of a lifetime that will never end! Stop resisting and allow yourselves to awaken into eternal joy!” – Saul (channelled through John Smallman, ‘The illusion is disintegrating around you,’ 30 June 2010,
However cosy people feel staying asleep in bed and denying the truth, anyone who knows what’s good for them and wishes to be happy will respond to the alarm clock sooner or later. First we take the risk of moving. GASP! Then we remember that we are not dead and set the intention to get up out of bed! HORROR! Once we are up and about, once we have had a wash, had ourselves a hearty breakfast (of divine love), kissed the wife - or husband - (Higher Self) and made our way out of the house we feel energised, joyful, enthusiastic and alive. We can’t wait to get on with expressing our true purpose and exploring our potential further. And, in actuality, having woken up to our true nature permanently, each of these things, the love, the freshness and clarity of mind, the joy, the intimacy with our Selves, the confidence and power, we carry within us throughout the day; indeed, for eternity.
"The Universe is waking up. Stop hitting snooze. Love awaits you.” - Levi Logan.
“In this deeply embedded quest for light, those of you who have been the grid anchors, divining rods and bridge builders have had an immeasurable amount of karmic energy to sort through. With much other-worldly experience, you have had the role of expunging, cleansing and filtering the outworn energies from the earth's grid and ley lines so that new energies could replace the old and so all others could experience the infusion of new light through a greater expansion of love.