Thursday, 31 December 2015

Monstaville Book III. Postscript


"It doesn't matter what happens when we stop using violence, the important thing is that we stop using violence to solve problems."
- Stefan Molyneux.

I can certainly say that I have been tested more than ever since writing the conclusion for Book 3. I was cursing it all until I finally started to feel a sense of gratitude that perhaps I have cleared some of the darker karma and had to feel the emotional pain I denied for so many lifetimes. Interestingly, just as the love I felt at the time I wrote that Conclusion was deeper and more genuine, this sense of gratitude was also more authentic and ‘natural.’ The process of feeling through and releasing pain in preparation for Ascension is like a spiral even though it may feel like we are going round in circles. There is a point to it: releasing deeper layers until we get to the end of it and surrender to the truth of who we are in the eternal Now.

We revisit these tests as though we are on a ghost train riding around in circles with ghouls and phantoms flying about, executioners and skeletons jumping out in front of us, until we have seen them so many times that we no longer respond and know they're not real, that the fear is only within us and brings them to life. It is simply our own horror movie in which we have been acting all the roles but discover that we are also the writers, directors and producers. And, as I wrote to a friend:

“Don't worry, we're getting there my friend. And as we recover and heal ourselves, remaining centred throughout the chaos and illusions, we are changing the world energetically, making it easier and quicker for others to heal themselves and ascend. That is the heroic task we have undertaken and therefore our purpose. Before we dived in we looked out at the world and saw an opportunity to serve because we are angels who can only express the love of the Source and grow more into the depths and power of our divinity in this way. It is the same for all ascended ones. We have been buried alive and just lying there playing dead for many lifetimes. But now we're learning that we have been hiding and it's time to rise up and shake off the soil to dance around the graveyard and show what is possible and who we really are, to awaken other souls from their spiritual slumber. The Night of the Living Dead takes on a whole new meaning!”

Cuz this is thriller…

As I have suggested previously, these ordeals, which really commenced when I moved to London in 1993 but really gathered momentum in 1999 when my next-door neighbours started having late night get-togethers and their 20-something children also began harassing me, appear to represent some form of crucifixion. The observation that I was being tormented on four sides where I live really ‘brought this home to me.’ It is for this reason that these problems have not only not been resolved but worsened since writing the Conclusion to Book 3. White Eagle confirms this reality of crucifixion: “When you suffer grievous pain and come up against harsh conditions, you are crucified. But will it help you if White Eagle tells you that when you are crucified you are very close to the great awakening, to the resurrection, when you will find greater beauty, and more satisfying, deeper happiness, than you have ever known before? So, when crucifixion comes into your life, whatever form it takes, remember that after crucifixion follows the resurrection, and after the resurrection follows the ascension.” (The Light Bringer. The Ray of John and the Age of Intuition, The White Eagle Publishing Trust, Hants, U.K., 2001, p.34). Towards the end of the book, White Eagle also gives this piece of advice:

“All we say is that you cannot live by bread alone, which means you cannot live by material standards; you must learn to look beyond, and recognise the sweetness of the Christ life, not only in good people, not only in the godly company, but in the brother or sister by your side. Some of you still find cause to misjudge others. Strive to overcome intolerance. Try to put yourself in another’s place and feel what they feel during their crucifixion (because that is what it can amount to). Above all, keep your values right, your vision pure, your heart full of love.” (ibid. p.160).

In addition, WE are being crucified on a karmic cross as a society. Every time we go on public transport and have to put up with noisy, ignorant people with mobile phones and personal stereos, and if we live next door (or underneath) such people, or even in ghetto-like urban areas where they are the predominant species – we are being crucified! And what that means is that karma and negative energies are being cleared to make way for the Christ, or Christ level of consciousness, to be born in us.

"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

It feels like I am helping to carve a path to the New World. I believe that, in extreme duality, the use of force, even violence, often is the only solution unless one remains fearful and impotent. By dedicating myself to exploring new ways of working through these problems I am affecting the collective grid for others to follow or, rather, build on. As the energies increase in intensity so can love be more effective.

"Now is not the time to rush to judgement, to act in haste, to lash out at each other. Be careful of what energetic matrixes you are feeding within the mass consciousness. The energy of your very thoughts will flow into the matrix of love and light or fear and darkness. Which one do you wish to nurture?" - The Council of 36 (channelled through Carolyn Holtgrewe).

“After 2012 love will become the answer to every problem. Love is becoming more and more the answer to all your problems, for love resolves every problem, and love resolves a problem in a very different way than the mind and logic and all that you have learned on this earth so far and the next lessons that are coming in these next two years are about love and understanding love and about becoming love…There is no need or any cause for war or any violent behaviour on this planet; everything can be resolved with the energy of love…This was all started some time ago and it is for each individual to open to the energies of love and to know that every time that there has been a divine society on this earth that it has been destroyed; it has been broken, people have become hurt. This time this will not happen, this time you have all the technology, the Internet, to share and communicate with others just how you found love, how love found you and what love does for you. Love will heal your aching joints, it will heal your difficult relationships; love will put money in your pockets, love will make life and loving just the way it’s meant to be...Love is in the air, it is always here and it is humanity which blocks this love through traumas experienced on this planet and through the many wars and the hurts that have gone on in the past. There is a great fear around receiving love and around the true flow of love, but this is what 2012 is about. It is about love, it's about a new way, a new state of existence. It is about humanity becoming connected with each other and it's about the church of love once again opening its doors so that you can worship the true God, the true Christ, the true masters, so that you can connect with the absolute truth, and this is what Spirit is bringing you; we are bringing you the knowledge and the wisdom and the love to connect you fully with the divine, to bring you all into a state of wholeness.” - Kryon (channelled through David Brown, ‘Allow The Love To Flow,’ 5 May 2010,

“This revolution is God’s evolution. There’s nothing to do but be it although that might take some (inner) work.” – Me (to a friend on Facebook).

“A 5D human differs greatly from a 3D human by way of consciousness and self-responsibility…that is to say, the state of BEing awake and aware of our multidimensional mind and motives. ‘Why’ we do anything matters more than ever now since our intentions must be spawned from heart-centred love in order to live in a harmonious flow of intention is the actual 'programming' that the new-human prototype requires to function optimally.” – Lauren C. Gorgo, ‘(The (re)Education of Sacred Embodiment,’ 28 July 2011,

Take heart, and take courage and encouragement from the promise that what has taken us forerunners five years or even much longer to achieve in terms of releasing negative energies and limiting beliefs will take you much less time, explains energy worker and channeller Lee Harris. “Many things will change for you this year if you open,” he says. “And, if you do not open, or you do not feel ready to open, you will go through many internal changes. You will go through many internal releases. Those of you who have done all the releasing will be building. Those of you who need to build new lives will be releasing but then building far faster than those who went through this process the last ¾ years did. Remember, the mass are going through what so many of you went through in the last few years. And they will do it quicker. They will benefit from all the pathways that have been trodden. But they will also benefit from those who are holding a vibration that all is well, regardless of how it looks.” – Lee Harris (‘2011: Year of Illumination,’ YouTube video, posted on 20 January 2011,


St. Germain has said that much fear is coming and that the masses will be drawn to Lightworkers, those who are ‘not of this world’ and who are to become clear channels for God's love. Many on this planet, he explained, will move into fear and the millions of Lightworkers are ‘servants of the heart,’ ‘embodiments of love’ – those who choose to serve this awakening with every fibre of their being, their strength and energy, to hold the love and peace and be that in action continuously. We are the 'many hands of Christ,' he said, and people will receive what they needed just by looking in our eyes, for example. He said we have the ability to communicate through vibration and advised us to recognise the vibration we are emitting moment-by-moment. We did not come here to become through worldly experiences, he went on. We are not like others. We are here to love and serve through our energy, beingness and kindness. We did not come here for name or fame, popularity or to be liked or agreed with, or to be better than anyone, but to hold that energy, of one who cares, one who loves, who holds the Light of Source and allows it to emanate through our actions, eyes, speech, body and life. Those lost in the mire will breathe in the fragrance of God’s love through your energy, see it through your eyes and feel it in your kindness. We are here as divine beings to quicken other divine beings, be the hand to support their birth. It is a great responsibility. ‘When you do not take responsibility your ability to respond is weak.’ We are the hands of Christ now – humble, kind, forgiving, forbearing, compassionate, he said. ‘The time for forgetting is over.’ (These notes were taken from a teleconference with St. Germain channelled through Ashamarae McNamara on 27 February 2011,

In the patriarchal control system that has been imposed on the entire world by the dark ones and their stooge Elite power has had more impact than love. As the Light returns, however, which it is rapidly, so does love have greater impact. Consequently, people will now begin to find that displays of power and the use of force are less effective and the conditioning of the old world will start to wear off. Of course some people will wake up and ‘get it’ before others but, gradually, all will learn this ‘new’ way of being as they discover that it works for others and is in their best interests. It is not new at all of course but merely the natural expression of the spirit in a world of unity that was known on Earth in ancient times prior to the fall of Atlantis. Human beings will relax into their true nature. They will express their inner selves spontaneously because there will be less resistance, less fear, and they will feel this love light coming closer to the surface, wanting to be expressed, to shine out into the world.

"In The Way of the Heart, we will speak ever more directly and even more forcefully to you. For the time comes quickly when this planet will not be willing to tolerate untidy house guests that are not willing to vibrate at the frequency of being toward which the planet herself is preparing to move. Therefore, be not caught by coming home one day and discovering that the landlord has changed the locks and you have not a place to rest your head Rather become the living embodiment of Love and journey with your Holy Mother into an entirely new dimension of being. And never forget to sing, laugh, dance and play along the way!! Be you therefore, at peace beloved friends. Amen." – Jeshua (channelled through Jayem, The Way of Mastery, p.82, ‘Love Heals All Things,’

After my encounters with the new property owner, I realised that every experience we have in life is there to teach us to love more. He was in a position of power where he could have been ruthless and shown mercy except that the repercussions may have interfered with his business interests. His priority was to get me out and make as much money from the sale of the house as possible. He did not appear to trust me perhaps because I am not motivated by money and have different values to him (none of which make me any happier by the way!). By the end, for whatever reason, it was apparent that he could not face having to deal with me anymore. I suspect he is one of the Atlanteans who have incarnated across Europe for several millennia.

This whole process, the crisis that I have been through, like a sack of heavy karmic cargo that was dropped on my head and crushed me where I stood, was designed to open my eyes and my heart, to steer me away from fear and reactive behaviour into a new attitude, a new mode of being, to accept more, to forgive more and to love more. No, I did not attain a state of perfect self-mastery at the end of it. Far from it. I did, however, make a start. I learned and absorbed enough of the lesson to carry this wisdom with me into my future life and encounters with people. And, so, even though it may appear that the bitter clash with my neighbours lasted right up to the end, I had let go of much, released much of the fear, anger and resentment that resulted from all these apparent attacks on me in that box I lived in and that I always wished had been a Tardis that could take me far away from Monstaville!

I took with me something of permanent value which cannot be taken from me and that is understanding. And that understanding is an intuitive part of each and every human being. It simply needs to be unlocked and awakened. And my wish for each reader of these books is that they awaken as much of this intuitive understanding as possible whilst going through as little distress in their lives as possible. And I have faith that those of us who took on this challenge of working through roughly a twelve-year crisis have impacted the collective consciousness of humanity sufficiently to make this inner knowing more accessible to all. My experiences and decision to write these books have also prompted me to examine the nature of suffering and attempt to get to the root of it for the purpose of healing through furthering my own wisdom and that of those who read what I have written and put together in these feral volumes. And demonstrate compassion for myself and others too, naturally.

“It is difficult, after so long apparently spent struggling and sometimes fighting for your very survival in an environment that is often extremely inhospitable, to open your hearts and lovingly trust one another. However, to do just that, by letting go of personal agendas, practicing trusting others, and being utterly and uncompromisingly trustworthy yourselves, is the way forward out of the illusion and into Reality. The amount of assistance available to help you with this task is vast and unprecedented. Many of you are availing of it and changing your attitudes as you let down the defensive barriers that have divided you and kept you separated for so long – so many of you in fact, that you are approaching the tipping-point, the point at which, quite suddenly, vast numbers of you realise that there is nothing to be gained by continuing to behave in the old confrontational ways that have served you so inadequately.” – Saul (channelled through John Smallman, ‘The old ways are finished!’ 28 December 2011,

“You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart.” - Louise Erdrich.

“We know it’s challenging. We know it’s not easy here. We know you’re being stretched to your limit and even more than that. All of you, every moment. Yet, you are here because you have the ability to be here. You are hearing these words because you have the ability to close the gap of separation, the delusion that you are separate from the person who’s serving you a coffee or dropping your food on the table, or fixing your car. Begin to see it as a duty. It is your duty to look for divine in everyone. It is your duty to look past people’s what you call ‘shortcomings.’ That does not imply that you continue to allow to be unkind if they’re being unkind. Common sense here…Walk in divinity. See everyone as divine. Look past the appearance as best you can. And pray moment-by-moment: ‘Beloved God, see through these eyes. Help me to see what you see. Help me to see your children everywhere. Help me to see your Light in everyone. Do you not realise when you do not see that way you are deluded? You are a part of the delusion when you do not see that way. Time to wake up. And only love wakes anything up. Only love…You are all family. And there will be a point in this Earth’s evolution, you will see that. Even the ones who refuse will have no choice but to see that. For Mother will make it so. And each one will choose: ‘How do I choose to live from this point of view that actually everyone is my family? When the Masters come into this world and they go and they help everyone, why do they do that? They recognise, ‘This is my family. These are my beloveds.” – St. Germain (channelled through Ashamarae McNamara, ’Healing the Delusion of Separation,’ 13 December 2012,

As a retrospective observation a few years after moving away from London, I have this statement to add:

There are no solutions except for making sure that you expand your consciousness. Study so that you have more angles from which to perceive situations, more strings to your bow, more cards up your sleeve, places to hide, understanding friends to talk to and warrior comrades (including pets if suitable) to contribute their energy and presence to some degree. Surviving an attack of bad karma may include a breakdown. That might be part of the learning curve chosen for your growth as crisis, being a transformation, naturally signals the death of the ego, which is simply limited physical identity and resulting finite awareness.

Maria ‘Cabiria’ Ceccarelli (Giulietta Masina): “Guess there’s some justice in the world. You suffer, you go through hell. Then happiness comes along for everyone.”
- Nights of Cabiria (directed by Frederico Fellini, 1957).

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